Diets
Can you imagine my surprise
When I woke up with thunder thighs
I looked in my mirror and
It gave me back a knowing grin
Hard and heavy the diet days
And all of my sweet tooth chocolate craves
Knowing what's in front of me
Makes this fat boy wanna scream
So I check out the internet
To find the perfect diet yet
Lets see......
Urine injections from a pregnant babe
That seems to be the latest craze
How about this bubble wrap
I just might be down with that
Who is there to really say
Which pill and how many I should take
One that sympathizes with the way I feel
While feeding me pint size starvation meals
Here's one guaranteed to clean my clock
While the next ten days I'm on the toilet docked
This is funny...try and eat more sensibly
That's like a foreign language to me
Get your daily exercise
Obviously written by some wise guy
Goes to prove just what I've heard
On the internet don't believe every word
How about the Himalayan soft cheese wrap
The secrets in the cheese to squeeze off the fat
Or I could go the Hollywood way
Have it sucked out and back to eating in one day
There are so many options here
It's hard to know which way to steer
As my options all expand
Think I'll just go buy elastic waist band pants
And learn to enjoy in my own eyes
The fact that I have thunder thighs
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