Long Farting Poems

At that moment an explosion of mud filled the air
    as their tension was now largely increased.
They tried to gather their wits but all took to stare
    as for...

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I was speaking with my good friend
Donald John
the Evangelist for AntiChrist
the other day.

And I had to ask,
Donald John,
Why are you so against health care
for all our not yet slaughtered
and otherwise dead already?

Except perhaps health services...

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COME ON SOUPER'S LETS HAVE SOME FUN AND MAKE FOLK SMILE DURING SUCH DIFFICULT TIMES FOR US ALL. THERE ARE LOTS MORE APT NAMES  - PLEASE SOUP MAIL POEMS AND I WILL ADD THEM...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must...

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Folk purchase this celeb’s new candle
 It’s something my brain cannot handle
 ‘Smells like my v’gina’ 
Could give folk angina
 This fragrance has caused quite a scandal 

Inspired by a comment from a fancy friend...

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Ace colonoscopy doctors Kellen Karl Kovalovich
and Larry Borowsky

Though necessary to down: 
four Dulcolax laxative tablets, 
quaff half 238 gram bottle of Miralax 
over span of eight hours, 
and if necessary even one Fleets Enema, 
I...

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You were standing with your face held to the warm air. The sea licking your feet and your thoughts were all of her. For back at the apartment she would be lovingly cleaning your clothes...

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Plastic is confronting
This planet her with bio war.
I have deduced
earths health is threatened.
Garbage makers who crave flatulent cows
And demand that we should breed them,
So, they can eat them
Why should you be fed cows?

That eat our...

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I should have walked away... on our wedding day
Instead of going on parade: our foolish wedding charade
How everyone looked happy, little knowing how crappy
That day was for me, but no-one could see 
That when we...

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when Animal Farm is not a feeding manual

and Clockwork Orange strikes at midnight

Dali’s time piece warps under face value

and an eagle-eyed-cuckoo flies over its nest


beneath the cover of cotton candy clouds

she relieves herself into Magritte’s...

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All these muffled mumble mouths are farting gas,
with a less complex range than an enslaved ahss,
inspiration sadly discarded as they spas,
the rap I grew up with is a thing of the past.

Talent? Witch please, mumble's...

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My mom raised me
She fed me
She cared for me
My mom is a saint
Raising five boys…
How can you say she ain’t?

My wife is nuts!
She is worried she may get laid off,
Yet she is hoping she will...

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When it comes to rules of etiquette
be warned: Flackmoth’s easily upset.
Most rules are arbitrary, he insists,
promoted by the bored and idle rich
who see themselves as haute bourgeoisie
with a rigid predilection, you see,
for behavior they deem...

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Wally some call him Zip (fed em black duck) (crow actually) Kakadu song man of Gulf town
Karumba Australia

Stay alive in 55 and 56 said the roadside sign..
As the Ford Mercury whizzed by on local Brisbane...

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Another Christmas day is finally here
The very thought fills me with such fear
I have to try and control my old Aunty Mable
Once she hits the gin she gets very unstable

Uncle Arthur rushes in and opens...

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(There's a thirteenth 'zodiacal' constellation, Ophiucus, The Serpent Wrestler/Holder, or the "Twelth Symbol," as here used. In some ancient cultures, serpents were revered as feminine symbols of rebirth/healing, and bees as symbols of wisdom, while...

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Ytb! Ytb! You understand we had a contract?
But what happened ytb?
You were such a savior to many,
A dream come true for many,
Why did you abandon us ytb? 

We came to Turkey you were nowhere to...

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I am a kitty Cat
and I came to live with a sweet lady when I was five years old
I came from a home where I was not loved
and left alone all day  ... oh...

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It's Christmas Eve and little Steve is sleeping like an angel
He knows Santa's sleigh is on the way with cookies on the table
The stockings are hung, the tree is trimmed, the feel of Bliss
The house...

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Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour
However, there are some definite side effects
Remembering to put on you jockeys or your bra if you're a lady
Or if you've recently given up group...

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I think we should have a
World Sex Day
A universal energy release to
cure Mother Earth
All we do is probe her
private parts
With drilling machines,
bombs and nuclear waste
And leave her on heat
Dissatisfied
Unloved
We leave her oozing with
acidic rain and...

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on behalf of the little guy
deep behind enemy territory
welcome to the nameless republic
all good capitalists want a monopoly
all good physicians need you sick
the National Antidote Party broke down the door
I told them everything I know
so...

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He told me without so much as a flutter of the eye that he was on the river by all accounts alone.Picking and eating the dew berries growing along the fence row that bordered the...

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laughing club 
                                ...

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