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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Another Christmas day is finally here The very thought fills me with such fear I have to try and control my old Aunty Mable Once she hits the gin she gets very unstable Uncle Arthur rushes in and opens the sherry then sups half the bottle and gets really merry He begins to sing carols at the top of his voice I put up with the din… I don’t have much choice! The last to arrive are old Gladys and Bert Bert always wears his distasteful Santa shirt Gladys walks through the door and starts to moan I wish Bert would leave the old cow at home! She whines from the moment she removes her coat And heads for the sofa and grabs the remote Demanding she has her dinner on her knee - There’s some crap on the TV that she wants to see I politely tell Gladys the dinner table is set And the film will be repeated of that you can bet So she sits at the table and picks at her starter then moans very loudly to poor Uncle Arthur The table’s soon laden with wonderful food But Gladys is seething, she’s so blinking rude She says the turkey’s tasteless and it's bone dry So I pass her the gravy and I try not to cry Bert finishes the bowl of chestnuts and sprouts He’ll be passing foul wind in copious amounts After rich figgy pud he crams in six mince pies … It’s no wonder he’s gross with huge wobbly thighs They descend on me each and every year And eat all my food my wine and my beer Then we open the gifts that lie under the tree As per usual they bring just one present for me Gladys has knitted me a horrendous jumper it's two sizes too large, I just want to thump her I dutifully put in on and I feign my delight … but it will be in the rubbish bin later tonight! At three we watch The Queen on the telly Bert’s farting begins; the room gets so smelly Within minute’s they’re snoring away in their chair I retreat to the kitchen and silently swear By the time they wake up all the dishes are done The doorbell rings; thank god their taxi has come! This is the LAST time they'll take advantage of me … Cos I've booked a yule cruise on the Caribbean sea! Fiction write 12/14/17
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