Bizarre Facts
Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour
However, there are some definite side effects
Remembering to put on you jockeys or your bra if you're a lady
Or if you've recently given up group sex
The average woman uses her height in lipstick every five years
That's damn bizarre, men don't use that much
Let me take that back, know some that would challenge that
But male is not quite appropriate as such
May 29th in the U.K. is “Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day”
Bizarre is the only word that's appropriate here
Those Brits are a looney bunch, case in point, Monty Python
But thoroughly enjoyed their stuff though weird
Billy goats pee on their heads to smell attractive to the girls
Hmm, don't think I'll try that with milady
First of all, how in the name of hell could I possibly do that
Perhaps there's a video to help me maybe
In our life, we produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools
Forgive me if I decide to take a rain check okay
Nothing personal but for some reason it doesn't appeal to me
Don't know why not feeling well today
A big bad eagle can kill and fly away with a young deer
If I see one I'll yell nasty words and stare
Not afraid, they'd feel my wrath big time, probably scoot
Specially if I wear pretty flowers in my hair
Farting for 6 years straight, produces the power of an atomic bomb
Must have to be really fed up with life I'd say
Need to lay off the beans, cauliflower and Brussel sprouts
Eat lotsa yummy fast foods through the day
Flowers grow much faster if exposed to music they say
Sounds kinda far fetched to this old duffer
Guess if you whisper love words and kiss their privates
They'll start to stammer and stutter
A cushion for the pushin' that extra poundage is good
Skinny-ma-link's sharp edges damn well hurt
But as long as they smell good and don't drool on my tux
Even skinnies still satisfy my big urge
Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2018
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.
Please
Login
to post a comment