Long Abdominal Poems

February 27th, 2018 literary tinkering rejiggered October 11th, 2024

I believed fortune cookie maxim 
cryptic message couched
Apple Macbook Pro update process
alternately titled “markedly 
a Luke warm welcome Matt unfurled
courtesy Jimmy John,
who embarked on 
imp apostle bull...

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Goodbye six pack hello* poetry scribes

My poetic side COSMOFUNNEL
wordsmith thanks tumblr in his noggin
ofttimes triggering babbling brook 
to swell after deluge
becoming stream of consciousness runnel
carving, gouging, and liquidating topography 
qua zee mow toe natural formed...

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Sun and traffic - day economy.
Six a.m. drive to plywood mill. Too tired
to be angry. Each day a step
toward death. What is being accomplished? The
small satisfactions
within each day. Book consciously read.
And frustrations. Package dropped, honey...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune...

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Fretfully aching to feel fit as a fiddle

After experiencing a severe,
albeit violent near lethal bout
of irritable bowel syndrome
(yesterday night August 30th, 2023)
triggered courtesy dulcolax caplets plus 
healthy portion of lentils,
I (a beatle browed, foo fighting,...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... turgid song redux,
a worse hellish fate than perdition really sucks

As of early morning
today - September 8th, 2022,
I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found...

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Stricken with turbulence at about seventy two inches

Yours truly issuing a deafening rebel yell
bursting forth with such might
courtesy cooking under pressure
analogous to volcanic upswell,
forcing me quickly to flap vestigial wings
(at the speed of sound)
while simultaneously...

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100% Natural psyllium husk delivered solid ecstasy

As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid...

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My deplorable emotional collapse. 

Lucky for me, she happened to be in her many hour siestas!

My dear sister amelie came over (previously arranged to pick up some rocks that z mama rolled in a pile)...

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An anticlimactic sexual event...

with Barb Black née Beebee
to help set the ghost
of little Willy Brandt free
(a non German, but germane fellow  
courtesy Craigslist classified
personals of mine invitee
she replied, I took liberty
to Google her first...

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Hiccups 

An involuntary spasm 
of the diaphragm 
and respiratory organs, 
with a sudden closure 
of the glottis 
and a characteristic 
sound like that of a cough.

Rather mundane topic 
lest one cursed 
with said minor inconvenience
that...

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Ace colonoscopy doctors Kellen Karl Kovalovich
and Larry Borowsky

Though necessary to down: 
four Dulcolax laxative tablets, 
quaff half 238 gram bottle of Miralax 
over span of eight hours, 
and if necessary even one Fleets Enema, 
I...

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Plagued with lifelong lower gastrointestinal Sturm und Drang

Ever since a young lad
irritable bowel syndrome
in my humble pinion wracked
lower abdominal area 
gurgled and ballooned gastrointestinal tract
(similar to following Colonoscopy preparation
slated for January 24th, 2024
at Phoenixville Hospital)
posterior...

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"Tears, grief, memories and tributes of respect. "

                          ...

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Stimulus check(up), visited mine local gastro-intestinal economy

Around high noon
today March 19th, 2021
fecal impaction I did plaintively croon
until effect courtesy amitiza, which
prescription medication
(in short a laxative)
served as amazing grace saving boon.

Once activated - impossible mission
to suppress...

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Inevitable death defines afterlife - trois

So all I ask, would be
inviting, offering, and ushering me to 
top secret cygnet committee
to give this average sized 
chapped sticky man
spinning the david bowie playlist 
as a somber dee...

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Human Sack Gruff Ice Agonizingly Glommed...
Murderously Skewered, And Torturously Zapped

Directv linkedin to accentuate
piddly money crisis, tis zen uneasy fate,
I imagine dragons gyrate
ting, and licking chops, faux masticate
ting, no matter I didst pre
   ...

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Filched formerly anatomical slender man - me! Thus I take a pot belly stance!

Absolute zero escape
velocity gutted dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance
with light as a feather
physique I...

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A Mother's Love

Do you ever wonder at the love Mother's contain in their hearts? What will we not do for our offspring? Allow me to tell you about the mother who gave all for her...

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My heart is empty, Jeffrey.
I’m standing here transfixed 
within the threshold 
of a vacant bedroom.
The air is still
but the delicate scent 
of your passing soul 
invades my nostrils. 
The aroma travels deep 
inside the tunnels...

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Nineteen Seventy-Seven Alumni

Some conspiratorial and malevolent force
     must be fast at work
     cranking chronology dial
an extraterrestrial force

     donning, housing, loosing,
   ...

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agonizingly dutifully didst wait
to distract anticipatory anxiety,
(analogous to an expectant father)
while protracted procedure promised
nothing short of a millennium

whereby echoing thru the corridors of time
olly olly gluten free ranging NON GMO, oxen
oiled lubricated cloven hoof
nsync cup...

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Reverend Dr. Margret A. O'Neall Developmental Minister

Unitarian Universalist Church
situated in Cherry Hill, New Jersey,
whereat every Sunday morning, I
Matthew Scott Harris) blessedly zoom
virtually attend congregation 
(recent attendee) experience

fellowship, albeit an outlier,
these two score plus one year...

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Metaphorical troubled waters deluge
pitched me to and fro,
analogous to ghosts
that haunted Ebenezer Scrooge,
yours truly violently tossed
impossible mission to experience refuge

except when deeply engrossed
between bound pages
thick and juicy tome one garden variety
generic bookworm doth ravish
escape courtesy...

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