I have marked my place,
I stand now in the
bulging vein of the moment.
No more hunting for meaning
or for anti-meaning,
all socks are white or not.
I am here.
a one-sized loosely fitted mind,
a tick and cross
on an illogical checklist,
acres stacked upon acres
of fifth dimensional
doubt, faith, and gnosis,
a bottomless barrel of chewed-over laughter.
I am all things and nothing,
happy to be
whatever you see
and I will not
gainsay your worst opinions,
but embrace every layer of the onion
even though you cannot perceive
the chameleon gifts
of my all too human superpowers,
or my agreeable acceptance
of your legendary life.
I am rooted in truth
and conspiratorial speculation
finding no fault in either
but still a knowing of what I am,
could have been or was.
I am raised up in my lowliness and glory
no longer there or anywhere
simply this kit and caboodle, this enchilada.
deeply sorry to be so unrepentant
and mostly happy to be sorry,
not a worry
or any flurry of guilt.
Expunged and indelibly revealed
as this ingenuity of self,
here now and gone
all along.
Forward backward
upside down
Downside up
all around
Yowser bowser
holy moly
Yipes-stripes
guacamole
Inside out
outside in
Pluto, Goofy
Rin tin tin
Al-a-ca-poodle
noodle-doodle
Apple strudel
kit and caboodle
Scribble scrabble
wiggle waggle
Diddle daddle
piddle paddle
Rodger dodger
over-and-out
Happy New Year
Give it a shout
Have you ever seen a kangaroo
Who's a little bit off his noodle
He hops around like a crazy galoot
Who's lost his kit and caboodle
He sometimes barks like a doggy
And chases cars and trucks
At times he meows like a kitty cat
Or sometimes quacks like a duck
Once got amorous with a moo cow
Outcome could've been disastrous
Luckily came to his senses in time
Almost had our first kangacowerous
They're treating him for psychosis
It's costing him a bunch of dough
Maybe he'll act like a kangaroo again
For his sake, we sure hope that's so
There's a moral here, it's very simple
It's about knowing who you are
Being happy with the skin you're in
And not coveting another's star!
Sausage some call me
I beg to disagree.
I know I am not tall
In fact I am quite small
My body long and thin
About which I never grin.
Low to the ground
Is how I trot around
Floppy ears hanging down
Makes me look like a clown.
I will make a wish upon a star
It’s not supposed to matter what you are
Time for a change Kit and caboodle
I wish I was a stately poodle.
If there's frost on your noodle, don't despair
It's a sign of genius if you've got grey hair
But the experts say when the colour takes flight
Intelligence doesn't just happen overnight
It takes years and years of bumps and grinds
So make sure you don't get left behind
To survive in this crazy and wacky old world
Ya gotta be ready for whatever gets hurled
Grey hair says intelligence between the ears
Achieving great wisdom throughout the years
A scholarly person you've turned out to be
Now if only your kiddies could also see
That parents are not just a couple of dolts
May even be smarter than a lot of young colts
Who may know computers and all that stuff
That's not all there is, it's not quite enough
To be able to deal with the challenges of life
One needs the smarts to deal with strife
For everyday problems that are bound to arise
Facing head on life's every surprise
Don't be embarrassed by frost on you noodle
You've got the whole kit and caboodle
Acquiring great knowledge throughout the years
With loads of laughter and many tears
© Jack Ellison 2014
Us guys never lose our love for the opposite sex
It's deeply engrained in our psyche
It's obvious every single day of our lives
We travel life's highway admiring the scenery passing by
This one make me sit up and take notice
That one turns my rusty old crank
Now this one over here makes me salivate
Us males continue the need to refresh our canvas
We easily get bored with the same old, same old
Variety they say is the spice of life
In my case, it's the whole kit and caboodle!
So keep on keeping on with your provocativeness
As long as I'm still alive and kicking
I'll continue to admire the female form in all it's glory
Your charm will never go unnoticed
Long live short skirts!
© Jack Ellison 2014
I just found out two poodles that I bought
were ferrets! Ay caramba! And guess what?
To make each one resemble less a rat,
they gave them steroids, making them both fat!
They also fluffed their pretty fur just so
around their heads. So how was I to know?
Each one looked so much like a toy poodle
they had me fooled - whole kit and caboodle!
Our veterinarian has verified
the facts for me. Those poodle dealers lied.
And folks now say I should have realized
the truth, which stared at me with beady eyes!
Those ferrets sure run fast; I think I’ll buy
two tiny leashes, or else I could try. . .
to sucker someone stupider than me.
Hey, buy one poodle; get the other free!
For Janice Canerdy's Rhyming Couplets Poetry Contest
* I wrote this April 22, 2013 after hearing a news story about a guy who actually believed he had bought a poodle when it was a ferret on steroids! See above for the link to the news footage!
Have you ever seen a kangaroo
Who's a little bit off his noodle
He hops around like a crazy galoot
Who's lost his kit and caboodle
Sometimes barks like a little doggy
And chases cars and trucks
At times he meows like a *****cat
Or sometimes quacks like a duck
Once got amorous with a moo cow
Outcome could've been disastrous
Luckily came to his senses in time
Almost had our first kangcowrous
They're treating him for psychosis
It's costing him a bunch of dough
Maybe he'll act like a kangaroo again
For his sake, we sure hope it's so
There's a moral here, it's very simple
It's about knowing who you are
Being happy within the skin you're in
And not coveting another star!
© Jack Ellison 2013
I ain't surprised by anything I hear on the news nowadays!
The way the gov'mint is bein' run just leaves me in a daze!
This mornin' I heard another of Obama's schemes has gone sour!
Seems that this lulu will add more to China's balance of power!
His stim-scheme gave millions to the A123 Systems Company in Michigan,
To make batteries for hybrid autos - his much-touted transportation plan!
He boasted to workers that this would fuel the economy for years to come,
Yet, it seems the place has gone south and its operations will succumb!
'Tis well-known that we are in hock to the Chinese for a ton of bucks,
And here is the irony of the sorry scheme and a most important crux;
China is buying the place with our money - the whole kit and caboodle!
American taxpayers are left holding the bag - not worth a Chinese noodle!
You won't find this story on MSNBC, CNN or CBS - only on Fox News!
Other media will support Barak no matter what, spewing their biased views!
Hey! That's our hard-earned tax money you're blowin' Barak Hussein!
Are you gonna cut your wasteful spendin'? We're waitin' for you to explain!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Have you ever seen a kangaroo
Who's a little bit off his noodle
He hops around like a crazy galoot
Who's lost his kit and caboodle
He sometimes barks like a doggy
And chases cars and trucks
At times he meows like a kitty cat
Or sometimes quacks like a duck
Once got amorous with a moo cow
Outcome could've been disastrous
Luckily came to his senses in time
Almost had our first kangacowerous
They're treating him for psychosis
It's costing him a bunch of dough
Maybe he'll act like a kangaroo again
For his sake, we sure hope that's so
There's a moral here, it's very simple
It's about knowing who you are
Being happy with the skin you're in
And not coveting another star!
©Jack Ellison 2012
Has this ever happened to you, my friends
Was walking my sweetie down the lane
When out pops a sign post and belts me one
Rattles me and shakes up my brain
Was trying to impress my sweetie pie
There was nothing but love on my mind
No doubt my honey was quite unimpressed
Thought I was an idiot of some kind
Tried hard to pretend it was no big deal
As stars buzzed round in my noodle
Attempted to speak only gibberish came out
Affected my whole kit and caboodle
I've always been known as a bit of a klutz
But now try to avoid any shocks
My sweetie and me still enjoy the scenery
But I wear a helmet on our walks!
@Jack Ellison 2012
If there's frost on your noodle, don't despair
It's a sign of genius if you've got grey hair
But the experts say when the colour takes flight
Intelligence doesn't just happen overnight
It takes years and years of bumps and grinds
So make sure you don't get left behind
To survive in this crazy and wacky old world
Ya gotta be ready for whatever gets hurled
Grey hair says intelligence between the ears
Achieving great wisdom throughout the years
A scholarly person you've turned out to be
Now if only your kiddies could also see
That parents are not just a couple dolts
May even be smarter than a lot of young colts
Who may know computers and all that stuff
That's not all there is, it's not quite enough
To be able to deal with the challenges of life
One needs the smarts to deal with strife
For everyday problems that are bound to arise
Facing head on life's every surprise
Don't be embarrassed by frost on you noodle
You've got the whole kit and caboodle
Acquiring great knowledge throughout the years
With loads of laughter and many tears
©Jack Ellison 2012
A Jim-Jam Mickey-Mouse Poem
I think that you might never see
A poem as weird as this might be
For I’ll use luscious words
That otherwise might sound absurd
This poem may turn out silly-sally
Or even a bit dillydally
In hindsight this whole kit and caboodle
May come across as dipsy-doodle
I’ll find a rhyme for titillated
That’s quintessentially outdated
I might include a foxy lady
But not written like my friend Slim Shady
So there won’t be some randy blowhard
Gender-bender sleaze-ball retard
No hooligan with gizmo manikin
No easy rider glissade shenanigan
No penny pincher prude nitpicker
And of course no cowboy old ****-kicker
And I would be recalcitrant
If I were to use this poem to rant
Though I know at times I vacillate
I shan’t lambaste this tete-a-tete
I haven’t worked in balderdash
Bloke or codger or mish-mash
No Tallulah, no Colleen
No rambunctious Charlie Sheen
And there’s no dubious diddlysquat
But that’s abso-bloody–lutely all I’ve got
Mdailey 3/30/12
She is the object of my desire
Hers is the name I sit and doodle
Oh how I long to kiss those lips
As Sweet as apple strudel
I would give every thing I own
The whole kit and caboodle
To spend one minute in her arms
And share a Christmas canoodle
Similar sounds and letter alliteration are literally leaping and precipitously punctuating the
perforated pages of my mired, muddled mind..
Making mental maps for future fun in meditation mired muse, meticulously masks the
real reasons I rise from my favorite fluffy floral flecked futon.
It seems somehow strange but my favorite finely fitted floral flecked futon is infested full
of flippin’ fleas. I feel flabbergasted!
It could be the culprits causing this consternation are cats coming into the corridor
constantly carrying the creepy critters in. Crap!
We’ll have to hurriedly heave the whole heaping kit and caboodle of carnivorous cats into
a crate and fumigate the frolicking fun loving finicky felines. Fine!
Fortunately, I’m finished..…….finally.
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