THE TRUMP PARTY NOW
REPUBLICANS MUST ALL BOW
PARTY TRANSFORMED WOW
TRUMP GETTING MORE RICH
MAKING IRS HIS
THE OLD BAIT AND SWITCH
A sly squirrel peddled bright tulips with glee,
But his cash stash was shady as can be.
The IRS came—what a fright!
He buried his bucks overnight,
Now he’s rich… in acorns, tax-free!
**
Roses are red, Violets are blue.
A love letter postmarked "Internal Revenue."
2/8/ 2022
Contest: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
a Valentine Challenge in One of Five Ways
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
~1st~
He seems to be new and I so cool
Walk over to introduce myself
I notice a clue his polished shoes
And the badges shiny on his belt
It seems my desk was a mess
As the man had searched high and low
I'm Bob he says with the IRS
Your company's assets will be froze
In fact lady come with me
There are questions for you and news
Today was a good day indeed
For the audited IRS blues.
2/14/2021
Why would I work the eight year old asked me.
So you can live the life.
To eliminate strife.
How lame do you think I am? said Josie.
I’ll get paid not working without a fee.
Written 12-28-2018 Contest: Tax and Finance Limericks
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
Women Size 7, no preference at all. Anything would be wonderful.
It’s coming, that time of the year,
to do up my taxes, I fear.
I shake with great fright
and toil through the night.
What’s owed is becoming too clear.
I regret the money I’ve spent
on food and the lights and the rent.
My cat needs a job;
a bank I may rob.
‘Twill do me no good to dissent.
Female - garnet
The mailman brought notice today
from Service the letter did say
more money you owe
so send us the dough
your taxes past due you must pay.
With Congress in maddening stall
and government shut down appall
I'm seeing bright red
the letter it said
funds needed to build Donald's wall.
December 25, 2018
The Holiday Season has come and gone.
Bank balance for that spree is overdrawn.
Now I'm feeling mighty glum.
Since Sam wants a hefty sum,
The house and my dog I may have to pawn!
Entry for Carolyn Devonshire's "Tax And Finance Limerick" Contest
(Male)
It's a bummer, man,
when you get one of those
I owe you letters from Uncle Sam
Wait a minute,
yeah dude, you got it wrong
They don't owe me, I owe them!
Talk about flipping the script
Get your umbrella, and play the raincoat song,
'cause I'm spittin' mad, I'm tired of getting pissed on
How can this be: seeing how I work everyday,
pay my taxes on time too
And then get a letter from the IRS,
saying I owe you!
Ugh ... sorry 'bout that again
Saying I owe them!
Something's not right,
something's very wrong
When the IRS keeps threatening me
with that lame going to prison song
They make me wanna start
spittin' on some graves,
start marking some doors
They make me start to wonder,
why even bother working anymore
After I did all my talking tough;
huffing and puffing, fuming and fussing,
I got on the phone and set a meeting up
That day came, and I went to their office
waiting to be handcuffed
As I was saying goodbye to the man in the mirror,
a nice lady walked in and said they made a clerical error
That I didn't owe them, they owed me,
and the man in the mirror said, well I'll be
So that's the end of the story,
a story I still find hard to believe
Up To Your IRS
My exemptions upped;
Ended up being bankrupt;
They were all corrupt.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
You have disregarded instructions
Thus claiming improper deductions
Send money by mail
And IF you should fail
Your paycheck will suffer reductions...
“The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax” - Albert Einstein
Submitted for: John Freeman’s contest
The IRS Ate My Homework
I tried to tell anyone who would listen
How my homework went oddly missing
The dog was overused and has no teeth to chew
The teacher was tired of that excuse
First I told a little white lie and then another
But my teacher knew it was a cover
He wasn't buying what I was selling
There is nothing like the truth I’m told
A brilliant idea came to mind so clear so bold
I sold it on the spot
Anyone can easily see in this great land
America’s most honest people in the world
Employed their master plan to help me
The IRS ate my homework whole
They suffered indigestion
When they were questioned
They didn't even flinch
Took the 5th
(Which is the grade I’m in coincidentally)
And went about their business
(Which is a secret)
Just ask my teacher or Lerner
The IRS We Have Come To Hate
By Elton Camp
They don’t even sends forms anymore
Like they used to do in years before
Maybe it really doesn’t matter anyway
The rules get more complex every day
Take the amount from Line Thirteen
And guess correctly what it is we mean
That five dollars interest that you drew
Be sure to include in your income too
If more tax you have to pay
You must send it in right away
If it’s a refund you are due
Expect it in a month or two
If you dare try to short your Uncle Sam
You must expect him to give a body slam
It’s not that taxes I don’t want to pay
But surely there must be a better way
There was a madam who had a business in Shire,
In the oldest profession, she was for hire,
Alas, the tax people came,
But she didn’t think the same,
Because soon she wanted to retire.
She cried, “I have no savings; surely you jest,
Even the IRS can’t tax my breasts!
I just had them installed!
Aren’t you enthralled?
I bet you would never even guess!”
"Madam, even though your 401k,
Is in your ample breasts to stay,
I can see by your guests,
It still generates interest,
And for that you’ll have to pay!"
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