To Women With BPD
Born sad, with an addiction to be loved,
lone female of a wasted woman world.
Strong longing in the night hours to be hugged.
You, precious proper Borderline girl.
Borderline Disorder of Personality,
running from him to him in search of home.
A female love addict as it may be.
Horrible fear of being left alone.
Where’s your gift of originality?
the girl that lives beneath the polar rage.
No longer a free piece of BPD.
Released as mental captive to want’s cage.
One night just pray that you can find yourself.
For on this night you’ll crave for no one else.
BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. Impulsiveness involves having extreme emotions and acting or doing things without thinking about them first. They have a strong fear of abandonment or being left alone.,
11/16/2024
A quoted warning tells us, “haste makes waste.”
Perhaps not so- denied by nature's sway.
Life spontaneity survives post-haste;
on this, God-given souls likewise convey.
Our inner selves are fashioned to express
impulsiveness to grasp life and to share.
No time to pause and study, then digress;
must implement its joys with timely care.
So, in-the-moment action follows through
when partnered with the heart to lead the mind;
as when a child gifts dandelions to you-
picked quickly from the lawn with love assigned.
And so, forethought oft kills that magic spell-
which acts of spontaneity impel.
Played
Every other's antennas oftentimes are up, An emotional
state that everything is mental being free from deceit.
Unguarded emotions impulsiveness and vulnerability
routinely get taken for granted in games of strength,
distractions are often hypocritical and shady. Rules
are broken, and trust is deceptive powerless to be played.
Survival of the mentally fit supposes everything has cause
and consequences who you thought you played
well, you played yourself.
I dream a world of contrasts and evolution
Bold smartness and resolution
In so much as:
Flat things are flat for all people,
and shades of gray are not adulterated by photoshopping.
Facts and opinions regain their identities.
Deception is an accident not a strategy.
Trust is earned.
Empathy is respected as a strength.
Impulsiveness once again is the domain of toddlers,
not an asset of adults.
The racial spectrum achieves a balance and cohesiveness
unachievable by Versace or DaVinci or Trump.
Our differences are assets we share.
Ideas are guided by compassion and wisdom,
and triumph when they find their words.
I dream a world of contrasts and evolution
Bold smartness and resolution
He sometimes persuades me
There is a better way
To handle things
But in a dedicated way, not mean.
Always takes my side
Even against his mother
Used to be a mama’s boy
Now is my man.
Sometimes gently gives me hints
Maybe I could do better
Always right too
Saving me from my impulsiveness
Always has my back.
Against the world
Would stand in front of a tsunami for me
Is my hero
Is my dedicated man.
My husband.
The father of my babies
I would trade him for no one.
Restlessness, impulsiveness,
loquaciousness, compulsiveness,
distracted inattentiveness
and tangent railway tracks.
Complexities, anxieties
and dopamine deficiencies.
Instant gratification please,
relief for my synapse.
Procrastination, wired sensation,
biochemical frustration,
forget to take my medication.
Frontal lobe relapse.
Rapid heartbeat, fidgety feet,
hypervigilant, unable to sleep,
central nervous system freak.
Neurological cracks.
Today,
Today is a brand new day
Today is highly unexpected
Today I never saw it coming
Today I'm paralysed by all emotions
Today I'm terrified out of my mind
Today my stomach is all knotted up
Today I want to just sit & think
Today I just want to run away....
But i will not...
Because today i choose bravery
Today I'm choosing to stay
Today I'm choosing to trust
Today I'm choosing to leap
Today I'm choosing to be bold
Today I choose impulsiveness over reason
Today I choose blind faith
Because today for some insane reason...
Today...I choose you my best friend...
To be my person, my crazy person
To be the person i trust with my heart
To be the person i embark on the unknown
Today...I choose you...
The hardest thing to give is forgiveness;
it goes against anger's impulsiveness.
And because emotions control our thoughts;
feelings are ready to fill in the dots.
Your heart won't abandon love for regret,
and given enough time, it will forget.
Yet, it is more difficult to forgive
a sin strained through an emotional sieve.
The urge to strike out and send the hurt back,
can make you want to go on the attack.
And when love asks, you forgive, love asks much;
yet you must admit, you will miss his touch.
Burnt in anger's flame, the phoenix of hope
rises from the ash so lovers can cope.
And forgiveness often approaches you;
in the guise of memories shared by two.
You let yourself overlook any wrong;
and encourage your heart to get along.
For coming to grips with the fact love lies;
the impulse to never forgive subsides.
Impatience
Impoliteness comes from
impetuous people,
imparting discord when
immersed so much in time’s
immutable design.
Impossible to change
impulsiveness and haste.
2/24/17
Pleiades I
Sponsored by: Kim Merryman
Following the stupefying sensation of my heart
I take a long and high flight
With the wings of self-deception.
Having some kind of foolhardiness,
I fly in search of green fields
Leaving behind the dreary desert
To sing sweet songs of life.
The warnings of my Prudence,
To stay with my other mates, go unheeded.
The green fields once
Where I yearn to reach
Turn into the burning flames
With deadly smoke
That chokes my throat
And darkens my vision.
And I, no more able to fly,
Fall into the lap of disillusionment.
Wings are fully burnt
And burnt I am from within.
Sobbing at the impulsiveness-my Achilles’ heel-
With a sigh, waiting for the last breath,
I close my eyes.
HIDDEN
Bad turns to worse
Opening yourself to the hurt
Repeated acts of suicide
Disrupted family, no charm
Emptiness, sense of not belonging
Relationships going downhill, falling
Love then comes hate
Impulsiveness, horrible mistakes
Not allowed to change the past
If I could, more mistakes will come
Happiness will not last
People judge me for things I can’t help
Experiences, emotions I have felt
Restless, risky
Over exaggerating all the time
Never relaxed, but sometimes
Anxiety grabs and consumes me
Loosens up on its grip
But I will never really be free
Inappropriate anger, frantic it seems
The lonely hole in my heart, gigantic
Young, paranoid and alone
Disturbed, friends they disown
Identity gone, self-image uncertain
Self-destructiveness, I hide
Overdosing, a risk I have taken
Recurrent threats, promises I keep breaking
Difficulty doing what I am told
Not good with management
Excessive efforts to avoid abandonment
Restless, diagnosed borderline has me by the throat
YOUTH
A time when puberty hits and the state of mind alters,
thoughts of wild imaginations and adventures.
YOUTH
A time for fun and recklessness,
mistakes and impulsiveness.
YOUTH
A time when courage is decided over timidity,
and pure love lost over dignity.
Is it love or trust, mutual desire or strong will
that ejects entwined bodies into the unknown
from the springboard of impulsiveness?
Arched in firm embrace and defying norms of life
they leap forth with passion filled
in search of fulfillment.
A moment so intense
magnetic, unrestrained,
where the movement flows along
radiating hidden brutal strength,
and yet, so graceful to behold.
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[Note: After attending the inauguration of Caesar Attard’s art exhibition
at the National Museum of Fine Arts, Valletta, Malta. This is about his
painting called "Locked Leap".]
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Contest: Screwed III
Sponsor: Rob Carmack
Placed 3rd
An inner impediment to sex…
I am not comfortable with you like this.
My attractions are so profound.
However, I do not want to be denied.
You see I know you have been around.
I heard you telling my brother about how she clowned.
For reasons I knew you and she was having sex and she acted like a *****.
These are my hang-ups.
She was attracted to you as a thug.
You just a little too much to participate in extreme love.
You may say I am different.
Might this be the case?
I do not want to overhear my name being converse in a similar way.
You know I lack experience and that makes me spontaneous.
We do have freedoms.
Sexual impulsiveness is a realm of new identities.
I am young and carefree; however, I like my privacy.
May I be shy just until I find a man that meets my requirements.
A safe haven is harbors front.
I am not for inhibitions.
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PENNED ON JULY 31, 2014!