What’s as good as blowing bubbles?
What’s cleaner than play dough or slime
and cheaper, no cost, small troubles?
Grown-up dandelions are fun;
ask any youngster in spring time.
They’re seeds for delight by the ton.
Neighbor kids may gather around
but who'd consider that a crime?
Grabbing a hose, they play splashdown.
It all makes this great-grandma smile
watching from the porch in her prime.
Lawn-lovers may gripe, “not worthwhile”.
Along the fence there are flowers so I water them full stream
on the other side Cosmo watches hypnotize his eyes beam
I start to the left and spray to the right to Cosmo this is a delight
from the right spray back to the left and again from left to right
The flow of full water stream and Cosmo runs along
he barks and follows the water biting at it as he follows strong
Cosmo so eager the water splashing at the plants
in rhythm he runs beside it as if with the stream he dance
I water more than attended so Cosmo can play
he is such a funny big dog I resist on him to spray.
The reader of this title
probably thinks I'm on a bender
It's all about some comfort
I've not abandoned my male gender
For some years now leather belts
are causing pain around the hips
Now I get a pair of panty hose
and cut it into strips
The way I live my life
is far removed from orthodox
The strips hold up my shorts alone
many years since I adorned myself in jox
So men now take yourself into a lingerie boutique
get some panty hose to make a stretchy belt
Wrap it round your belly
so much comfort never felt
Sometimes when wearing zipless tighter shorts
it's difficult to lift the trouser leg when there's a need to pee
But elasticity of the panty hose means
top of shorts are quickly lowered so now willy's running free
Footnote: perhaps I am showing my age here talking about panty hose . For those unaware
they are female attire, a form of stockings and jox or jocks maybe an Australian colloquial term for mens underwear
Contest: Cartoon Character Clerihew
Judged: 8/17/2025 6:29:00 AM
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Placement: First
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse
Still struts through each media house,
With hose stretched tighter than his grin,
And yellow shoes too big for his thin shin.
Have planted a lovely garden this year,
that I totally revere and hold dear;
but a squirrel likes it too,
he licks off the summer dew ...
so, I wait each morn' . . . for him to appear !
The sound of a cow peeing
is the wettest sound, let go
like a bucket slush on a barn slab
or so my grandfather used to
say. When my son comes home
I hear his fire hose upstairs
and remember how it was to
decompress so quickly. Grandad
once came out of the men’s
room shaking his head, and when
I asked why, he said that the room
was full of old men, half of which
couldn’t get started, and the other half
couldn’t stop. It’s my date with the moon
tonight--out the window of the master loo
at 3am. Perfect view, the creek trickling on.
Sheer stupidity,
human neglect...
Wash car on the sidewalk
and with water hose,
a complete waste... !
Rudolph the red nose reindeer
had a very tiny hose
but if you gentle rub it
suddenly the small thing grows
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and sometimes boast
all of the other reindeer
used rub it in his nose
And that's why poor old Rudolph
had a very shinny nose
all of the other reindeer
laughing at his tiny hose
Chose Clothes To Match Her Hose
Had to make a final decision so she chose,
A color which was contained in all clothes;
Had been bright;
Glowed in night;
Knows that they will match with her hose.
Jim Horn
Poor Sam Hose was tied to tree
Soaked in kerosene, lit a thousand degrees
His flesh roasting, the mob sliced off pieces
Laughing at his screams for mercy from Jesus
They took his manhood, fingers and ears
Poor Sam Hose was a souvenir
Oh, no, crumb.
It’s the adult again.
Dare I ask for a grandchild?
I don’t really want to speak to anyone else.
Would it be rude?
Who cares?
Can I please speak to Wilford?
Mom, Wilford is only 7 months old.
I know, but I want to hear that baby gurgle today.
I need it.
Oh, good grief.
We’ll Face time you in 20.
The next 19 minutes crawl by, seem more like 19 hours.
Aha!
Face time works. I get to see the baby.
If you do not have a grandchild yet, you have no idea how
Precious every second becomes after they arrive.
And I have ten of them; TEN!
My cup runneth over the kitchen table, onto the floor, and out
The door where six grandchildren are waiting with water guns
To spray grandma.
Because I squeal and shriek and jump up and down and dunk
Them into garbage cans full of water, and grandchildren love that!
There was a girl in seventh grade
Who let the top show on her hose
I was just fascinated to see
I didn't even know I liked those!
About that time was when I heard
"Is that right Pat?", from my teacher
I tore away my gaze to see
I had become, the main feature!
Out of the corner of my eye
"Legs" moved, a new bearing to assume
Great! Why now when...."PAT IS THAT RIGHT?",
Boomed loudly across the big room!
All eyes on me I had to think quick
It felt like my face was on fire
"Yes?", I said, being with quick wit
Could my mouth, be any drier?
Amazingly, he just moved on
From "legs" I got a cold hard stare
It was a very long hour
Before I could get out of there!
Walking on grassy ground
tripped on a garden hose
awoke from sleep a greyhound
when the water jet hit its nose
in a flash I sprang from the ground
the greyhound close at my paws
ran even faster than sound
to make it to the entrance hole
hissing at the weeping greyhound
went to tackle that turkey nicely browned
First Place: Regina McIntosh-Pet Rhyme-10/10/19
Third Place: Brian Strand: Podium-1/13/21
Fifth Place: Julie Leigh Rodeheaver-Funny-11/7/17
Fourth Place: BJ Legros Kelly-Beloved Pets Contest-3/26/23
Limerick: Once Steppes Chief Mongol in a loose hose
Once Steppes Chief Mongol in a loose hose
Tried to jump Great Wall with horse and Rose
Horse kicked hole in hose goal
Chief bored hole in the Wall
Guess who licked Rose red-in-the-nose?
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
MERRY XMAS to ALL Soupers !
in the block
its none stop
all day play
its hot the in the cox
to kept cool
and kid from the blues
this is what goes
the
KIDS AND WATER
HOSE
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