Contest: Cartoon Character Clerihew
Judged: 8/17/2025 6:29:00 AM
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Placement: First
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Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse
Still struts through each media house,
With hose stretched tighter than his grin,
And yellow shoes too big for his thin shin.
Have planted a lovely garden this year,
that I totally revere and hold dear;
but a squirrel likes it too,
he licks off the summer dew ...
so, I wait each morn' . . . for him to appear !
The sound of a cow peeing
is the wettest sound, let go
like a bucket slush on a barn slab
or so my grandfather used to
say. When my son comes home
I hear his fire hose upstairs
and remember how it was to
decompress so quickly. Grandad
once came out of the men’s
room shaking his head, and when
I asked why, he said that the room
was full of old men, half of which
couldn’t get started, and the other half
couldn’t stop. It’s my date with the moon
tonight--out the window of the master loo
at 3am. Perfect view, the creek trickling on.
Sheer stupidity,
human neglect...
Wash car on the sidewalk
and with water hose,
a complete waste... !
Rudolph the red nose reindeer
had a very tiny hose
but if you gentle rub it
suddenly the small thing grows
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and sometimes boast
all of the other reindeer
used rub it in his nose
And that's why poor old Rudolph
had a very shinny nose
all of the other reindeer
laughing at his tiny hose
Chose Clothes To Match Her Hose
Had to make a final decision so she chose,
A color which was contained in all clothes;
Had been bright;
Glowed in night;
Knows that they will match with her hose.
Jim Horn
Poor Sam Hose was tied to tree
Soaked in kerosene, lit a thousand degrees
His flesh roasting, the mob sliced off pieces
Laughing at his screams for mercy from Jesus
They took his manhood, fingers and ears
Poor Sam Hose was a souvenir
Oh, no, crumb.
It’s the adult again.
Dare I ask for a grandchild?
I don’t really want to speak to anyone else.
Would it be rude?
Who cares?
Can I please speak to Wilford?
Mom, Wilford is only 7 months old.
I know, but I want to hear that baby gurgle today.
I need it.
Oh, good grief.
We’ll Face time you in 20.
The next 19 minutes crawl by, seem more like 19 hours.
Aha!
Face time works. I get to see the baby.
If you do not have a grandchild yet, you have no idea how
Precious every second becomes after they arrive.
And I have ten of them; TEN!
My cup runneth over the kitchen table, onto the floor, and out
The door where six grandchildren are waiting with water guns
To spray grandma.
Because I squeal and shriek and jump up and down and dunk
Them into garbage cans full of water, and grandchildren love that!
There was a girl in seventh grade
Who let the top show on her hose
I was just fascinated to see
I didn't even know I liked those!
About that time was when I heard
"Is that right Pat?", from my teacher
I tore away my gaze to see
I had become, the main feature!
Out of the corner of my eye
"Legs" moved, a new bearing to assume
Great! Why now when...."PAT IS THAT RIGHT?",
Boomed loudly across the big room!
All eyes on me I had to think quick
It felt like my face was on fire
"Yes?", I said, being with quick wit
Could my mouth, be any drier?
Amazingly, he just moved on
From "legs" I got a cold hard stare
It was a very long hour
Before I could get out of there!
Walking on grassy ground
tripped on a garden hose
awoke from sleep a greyhound
when the water jet hit its nose
in a flash I sprang from the ground
the greyhound close at my paws
ran even faster than sound
to make it to the entrance hole
hissing at the weeping hound
went to tackle the turkey in the bowl
First Place: Regina McIntosh-Pet Rhyme-10/10/19
Third Place: Brian Strand: Podium-1/13/21
Fifth Place: Julie Leigh Rodeheaver-Funny-11/7/17
Fourth Place: BJ Legros Kelly-Beloved Pets Contest-3/26/23
Limerick: Once Steppes Chief Mongol in a loose hose
Once Steppes Chief Mongol in a loose hose
Tried to jump Great Wall with horse and Rose
Horse kicked hole in hose goal
Chief bored hole in the Wall
Guess who licked Rose red-in-the-nose?
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
MERRY XMAS to ALL Soupers !
in the block
its none stop
all day play
its hot the in the cox
to kept cool
and kid from the blues
this is what goes
the
KIDS AND WATER
HOSE
PANTYHOSE AND PILLOWS
I RECALL A PILLOW CASE AND LATER PUTTING PANTY-HOSE OVER MY HEAD
IF MEMORY SERVES ME CORRECTLY I THINK THEY WERE BRIGHT RED
I WAS STROLLING DOWN A SIDE STREET WITH A HOME TO PICK
BECAUSE A JUNKIE DOES THAT WHICH HE MUST WHE HE BECOMES DOPE-SICK
SO I CONTINUE WALKING AND AMBLING DOWN THE STREET
TRYING IN EARNEST TO SEEM DISCREET
JUST THEN MY EYES ESPIED A HOUSE WITH A WINDOW OPENED WIDE
AND THAT’S WHEN JESSE JAMES BECAME MY GUIDE
SO I GLIDE IN THE WINDOW WITH NARY A SOUND
WHILE PRAYING ALL THE WHILE NO ONE ELSE WAS AROUND
I NEEDED TWO THINGS WHICH WERE CALM AND SILENCE
BECAUSE THE LAST THING A DOPE-SICK JUNKIE NEEDS IS VIOLENCE
SO I BEGIN LOADING MY PILLOW CASE WITH THINGS I COULD HARDLY SEE
BUT ONE SHOULDN’T BE PICKY WHEN EVERYTHING’S FOR FREE
I WAS WILD AND THOUGHT MYSELF WILY WAY BACK WHEN
AND THAT’S WHY I’M WRITING THIS WHILE SERVING SEVEN TO TEN
© 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~
PANTYHOSE AND PILLOWS
I RECALL A PILLOW CASE AND PUTTING PANTY-HOSE OVER MY HEAD
IF MEMORY SERVES ME CORRECTLY I THINK THEY WERE BRIGHT RED
I WAS STROLLING DOWN A SIDE STREET WITH A HOME TO PICK
BECAUSE A JUNKIE DOES THAT WHICH HE MUST WHENEVER HE BECOMES DOPE-SICK
SO I CONTINUE WALKING AND AMBLING DOWN THE STREET
TRYING IN EARNEST TO SEEM INDISCREET
JUST THEN MY EYES ESPIED A HOUSE WITH A WINDOW OPENED WIDE
AND THAT’S WHEN JESSE JAMES BECAME MY GUIDE
SO I GLIDE IN THE WINDOW WITH NARY A SOUND
WHILE PRAYING ALL THE WHILE NO ONE ELSE WAS AROUND
I NEEDED TWO THINGS WHICH WERE CALM AND SILENCE
BECAUSE THE LAST THING A DOPE-SICK JUNKIE NEEDS IS VIOLENCE
SO I BEGIN LOADING MY PILLOW CASE WITH THINGS I COULD HARDLY SEE
BUT ONE SHOULDN’T BE PICKY WHEN EVERYTHING’S FOR FREE
I WAS WILD AND THOUGHT MYSELF WILY WAY BACK WHEN
AND THAT’S WHY I’M WRITING THIS WHILE SERVING SEVEN TO TEN
© 2010.….Poefree
butterflies flight broke...
living room’s filled with stale smoke
pink elephants would choke
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