Funny House Poems - Poems about Funny House

Harmless Guest

Harmless guest


Underneath Zoom chair
Some small creature fleeing in confusion

Ah ha, a brown lizard, harmless four-legged guest

Hiding and scared, aren’t you?
So am I
Please do not visit me in bed tonight

Mi-casa-su-casa
prey on insects and spiders all you want
and Thank you
for house cleaning service

Mi-casa-su-casa
Enjoy this big playground
hanging out in small covered spaces
under any couches, chairs, desks, bookshelves, or

The Rat and the Cat

In circles and circles went the rat
On a family's front doorstep mat
A pet clawed for more
Then opened the door
Then was eaten by an indoor cat

That Haunted House

I bought a house that nobody else wanted.
I got it dirt cheap because it was haunted.
It was once owned by a murderess and nobody could trust her.
Things got so bad in that house that I called the Ghostbusters.
But those four women came running out of that house as fast as they could.
I thought that hiring

Funny House Pets For Kids

========================

First you got an alligator.

Next came a giraffe.

Lions ride your elevator,

bears hide in your bath.

Bunnies,

   chimps,

       (a duck?),

            raccoons..... 

             run amok through all

Spring

Spring and the great reveal!

Winter is now in full retreat,
those darkest days of rain and sleet,
the clouds will part, as if cut by knife,
the sun warms the earth to beckon life

I throw back the curtains in every room,
to let in the rays and light the gloom,
but then as I blink and my eyes adjust,
I recoil

Housework Apathy

Housework what a chore
I refuse to do it any more 
My poor hands have blisters 
And my hands are sore
Oh my what a bore.

The more you do
The more you find
It's such hard work
And I don't have the time.

Some peoples houses are like a show room
Mine A sty
Think I was born without the tidy gene
I'm just

Sweet Carmel

The taste of homemade Carmel so sweet/ everyone I know desires the treat.

After one night in the kitchen covered/ half the pan gone, next morning discovered. 

 Is it my beagle Lily whom loves any food? / she seems in a hyper beagle mood.

 I know I heard a squeak in the night / a

Cheating Electrician

I cheated when I went to the electrician school.
I don't know what I'm doing, I am truly a fool.
I always screw up every house that I wire.
When the power is turned on, people scream "Fire!"

I connect 110 volt wires to 220 outlets and 220 to 110.
When people see my work, they never hire me again.
I

A Welcome For Timorous Tim

Poor Tim, the timorous, one cold dark day

set out to prove that TIMID he was not!

He ventured one whole night alone to stay

inside the empty house his friends had sought.

The house was old. . . unlocked, it beckoned Tim.

He neared its door; his trepidation grew.

His laughing friends grew silent watching him.

He deeply breathed, then vanished

A Pink Oops

Inebriated Bob painted his house bright pink
His poor neighbors raised a  hell-of-a stink
Then in October
Finally got sober
Took one look at the house and asked for a drink
     

For the Tickle Me Pink contest

Miss Prunella Gets New Neighbors

Miss Prunella’s New Neighbors

By Elton Camp

The little house had been abandoned for a year
Its run-down condition made the neighbors fear
Unless a new occupant soon should come around
Miss Prunella’s property values would come down

She got hope the house would be coming back
When a woman arrived in her pink Cadillac
Miss Prunella decided that it’d be nice if

Dusty Cobweb Builders

DUSTY   COBWEB   BUILDERS


Who  ever  sees or even  knows  any  cobs?
The cobs who live in my house must be small 
Not  big or clumsy to live in such  delicate 
Webs up in the corners of my ceiling and wall.

Even if I destroy their cob webs
They

Oops

I have a cat named Hasty
the absoulte center of my world.
Theres nothing on Earth that will make me,
give up my baby girl.
My house caught on fire
So I had to get up and go.
Watching my house burn on the oustside,
recording it with my I-Phone....Oops.

A Mouse In the House

A little grey mouse 
snuck into the house 
to get himself out of the cold. 

Then the house cat 
Who saw where he sat 
pursued him I am told. 

The lazy old dog 
who sleeps like log 
was startled by the chase, 

So she woke up 
her own small pup 
and they joined in the

Laughing At the Fun House Mirror

Laughing at the Fun House Mirror

By Elton Camp

Back in one’s carefree childhood day
Laughing at one’s ugly image was okay

Humped, twisted or your face contorted
Wasn’t true, but a mirror that was distorted

The visage that you saw wasn’t for real
So happy, not sad, it would make you feel

The mirror in the fun house was sure okay
Because you

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