In my desperation
I find hope
In my struggle
I find peace
In my hurt and disappointment
I find comfort
And a renewed sense of belonging
In my brokenness
A desire to reach the only one that can help me
In my desperation
I can see where man can not satisfy my longings
In my desperation
All my hearts desires are recognized and fulfilled.
In all of this
I overcame because He overcame
He pulled me up instead of me pulling Him down
His love reached down to me as I was reaching up to Him.
JESUS
while the stars gentle glow melts away my fears
there is a sense of hope despite the worst tears
the joy of each sunrise echoes through my soul
soothing the last ache that the darkness stole
while the breathless prayers are spoken humbly
there is a shadow of despair who blows numbly
remembering the day before I knew God is love
blessings poured down to me from heaven above
The spiritual world is not real
But psychological defence
I know it brings relief and heal
To a certain kind of extence
But I stand by formal reality
Forms make the content real
Otherwise no personality
Can appear and appeal
I don’t argue the fantasy
Its great to have some mysteries
But it’s a play of fancy
A comprehensive bliss
We quite enjoy and treasure
Still that desire burns
I need the formal measure
Another life of forms
That once have turned to dust
The same genes combination
Can it revive my past
Break through the circulation?
I’m tired of rituals to repeat
I want to make it clear
The only thing I need
Is time, when you were here
I’m dreaming of release
Its natural to think and say
Come down to me, please
And take me straight away.
Just to be together
Is the point, so I
Leave it to the weather
Leave it to the sky
When the skies are blue
You come down to me
Saying how are you
Smiling lovingly
When the wind blows on
And the darkness falls
I come to your home
Hearing your calls
How are you, my dear
How it went today?
Do you see me here?
Yes I do, you say
See the stars above
Shine so very bright
I can’t sleep, my love
Kiss me, hold me tight.
Love, it feels much deeper
Than it used to be
Have a rest, my sleeper
Sleep is good for thee.
Why you are so hard on me
Dear darling J
You don’t want your G to see
Whom you love, you say
Every time I’m on the screen
And I love you too
Since the moment I have seen
Some of me in you
Out of sight and out of mind
Its an easy ride
You’ve another mind aligned
Of the family kind
How your two minds contradict
I don’t have a clue
I’m the one who you inflict
When its time to do
So I read your diatribes
Your critique I see
And I sense some different vibes
Coming down to me
But such is a gift you sent
Kind of New Year’s card
Thank you for the time you spent
You did well your part
I don’t have two minds, my love
But the only one
And I cannot get enough
Of your loving fun.
Dear Lord…
…we don’t talk often and I guess that’s down to me
I struggle to converse with those I cannot clearly see
I understand that you’re the one on whom I should depend
And though I ask a favour now… I’m asking for a friend
The special lady in my life, who I think of as ‘wife’
Is soon to trust her eyesight to a fellow with a knife
A simple op will let her kiss her cataract goodbye
An easy thing to say about another person’s eye
Have I hid behind her vision that is blurred and grey
I’ve never had to think about it much before today
But when we met her eyes were clear and I was rather fit
But now her vision is impaired and I have changed… A BIT…
So please, when all is done allow my girl to clearly see…
Perhaps a slightly rosey tint whene’er she looks at me
Amen
the woman’s opulence did not mean she would be haughty and uptight
some wealthy people are not rude, selfish and snotty
I decided to give the woman a fair chance
She talked down to me as if I was a worm crawling out of an alley
That must have been an accident
I gave her another chance
She made a snide remark about my background
Which she does not know
Her disdainful smile would have been impossible to miss
Even if I could have ignored her supercilious attitude
and her rude words
“was she kind?” my grandmother asked me.
“You will have to find out for yourself,” I told her.
Within minutes of their conversation I saw my grandmother pop her eyes.
We left right away, for we had come up with the same conclusion
This snob was not worth our time.
Once again, another failure.
It’s like the pick of the litter, it’s my flavor.
I climb the mountain, and I am almost there.
Then the wind of disappointment comes out of nowhere.
Yet again, I am at the bottom,
hopes and dreams again forgotten.
Why is my life up and down?
Should I keep trying or shut down?
Sometimes I am through with this rat race called my life.
If I cannot conquer my destined plight.
I break down on the playground and find myself in lockdown.
I don’t know what is worse, fighting an entity that I do not know,
Or facing the horrors of my former shadows.
The fruits of my labor did not start with me.
Perhaps I should search for my family tree.
In the roots of my ancestors, I might find the key,
To break the chains of this cyclical misery.
With each branch, a story, a lesson to learn,
A beacon of hope, for which I yearn.
For in their struggles, I might see,
The strength and resilience passed down to me.
So I rise once more, with renewed might,
To conquer my fears and reclaim my light.
For every fall, there’s a chance to rise,
And on my journey, I’ll find the prize.
He kneels down to me
I say I do
he just needed to tie my shoe
I was flustered and desperate for marriage
“I do?” he asks
“Nothing” I say
I never though we were meant to be
The topic of marriage never came easily
He kneels down again
I say I do
But he just needed to tie his shoe
I was flustered once again
My head filled with all type of things
He kneels down again
Third times the charm..right?
I do!
But he just needed to pick up something he dropped
“I do what” he says
This time, I wasn’t flustered I was mad
I’m done with you
We’re not meant to be
He responds
Why are you angry, you cheated on me!
(I say)Why are mad you slept with three
(He says)Ok but I’m your 4th side chick
(I say) your still seeing Rodrick
……
I guess we are meant to be
I will still keep marriage in mind
It's still so hard to live a life without my partner Cheryl,
I feel I need to keep my wit's as days can end in peril.
It's hard to cope with life as one we both would help each other,
Problems solved and jobs we'd share without a hapenny of botha.
So without a pair and down to me life just isn't the same,
The house our home our castle which was has lost our beautiful dame.
I have our son but he's his own his future looks so bright,
I'm proud and grateful that Cheryls short life We managed to do it right,
It won't be long before he leaves and makes his dreams come true,
It's then I think my work is done and begin to live life to,
It won't be easy it will be hard but I have to try my best,
I've suffered since my lover passed and it's sure to be a test,
I've had a lot of outside help to guide me through the low,
It's now my turn to show I've coped and grab it by the core.
I won't get over what I saw it will be always there,
But life won't always be that cruel and it really just shows I CARE.
I knew it the first time.
This would hurt a lot.
I'd take cover for you and yet you abandoned me there in cold blood.
How am I supposed to get it done?
When all it took to destroy me was one shot?
It all came down to me. It reappeared again.
I can feel them again.
So how could you? And why would you?
You once told me about words.
Be careful with them for they might start a blaze.
It did.
They did.
I burned.
Oh, come in the dark of night,
come in the silence of a dream,
come with sweet kisses that delight,
flow down to me on a moon beam,
come my love to dry my tears,
for I have wept for years and years.
Prima Facie
adjective
based on the first impression; accepted as correct until proved otherwise.
so i accept
what choice do I have
i'm such a big fan
i love you so much
you are pure art
so i look past the downward glance of your eyes
Prima Facie
adverb
on the first impression
at first
i thought you were beautiful
but it's not
you're not
per se
it's just that you prefer the pain of others
because guilt is a solid replacement for anguish
you like to see me get hit
get struck down
because you can offer a hand down to me
but i cannot climb up to you
and i'm sorry
if my deadweight was too heavy
when you gripped my body after striking me down
Don’t put on that face
All love and kiss laced
Knowing your heart
And anger, misplaced
Don’t talk down to me
So secretively
While charming the rest
Yet making me bleed
A Christian, you are
A warm, shiny star
Your words are for me
While THEY give you scars
You give me no choice
I have, not, a voice
I must rot in shame
And bow to your noise
You moan and complain
A relentless, cold rain
It bothers you not
You drive me insane
Then grin at the sight
Of someone who might
Not know who you are
And believe you, polite
You then, bow and pray
As if, your last day
Must be convincing
Or followers, stray
I say you’re a fake
I know what’s at stake
You’re only for show
Please give me a break
I walk into the room, and the audience is captured
With cold blue eyes, their souls are raptured
Bow down to me, Empress of all
My ineffable reign, never to fall
Ice Queen, Ice Queen, with a cryo gaze
Sharp and punctuated, full moon is my phase
Don't mess with her, she'll tear you down
Be humbled before thy majesty's crown
Her beauty freezes all in their tracks
Heart of crystal, not a single crack
No one can touch her and heart her like before
She's blossomed now, dark wings to sore
Ice Queen, Ice Queen, ruler of men
Tremble at her feet, she's coming for revenge
She'll leave her legacy frozen on the world
Her hair falling down in elegant turquoise curls
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