Only in the wretched
Broken locking
Of the safe
I was beaten into
Which refuses
To hide
Privately, despised by standards
Breakthrough! Simple
To be your sickness, in fiend
In the fiend you
Rusting edgework of him
And her and his fathers and hurting
Me better
Thanking myself always
Your cursed reproach of silence
Uncontrolling the illness
People please themselves in the dyes
My hearts been chopped, sliced and grated
By everybody who has hated
The way my life has been going
True feelings never showing
Hiding all the pain down deep
A happy smile tryna keep
Up the illusion it don't hurt
How I get treated like dirt
I can't help the way I am
Why can't others understand
I'm not a geek, loser or nerd
But my whole life I have heard
Remarks so derogatory
Take the time to know my story
Why I don't drink or do drugs
Then you'd change your words to hugs
Opening your heart and eyes
Finally you would realize
This little girl who raised herself
Without any kind of help
Is gonna stay drug free and clean
Alcohol will not be seen
In her body, I refuse
To be put through the abuse
Like other people from my past
Respecting myself and this task
In our talks, a warmth so sweet,
Your kindness, a melody complete.
Understanding everything, a conversation so free,
You don't know what you mean to me.
Laughter shared, a joyous sound,
Through sorrows, comfort’s found.
Hugs in sadness, like a comforting sea,
You don't know what you mean to me.
In absence, a longing to converse,
Words exchanged, a wholehearted verse.
Even in silence, your presence is the key,
You don't know what you mean to me.
My love is unbounded, without constrains,
A worry whispers, fearing love’s complaints.
Don’t ever forget me, a genuine plea,
Because you really don’t know what you mean to me.
At or behalf of my behest
But not for a 1 single second
Do I ever start or begin to believe
I am in charge or running this show
I say or wish to impart these things
That I lived through or happened
Or occurred to me here on this today
I share without honestly a glimmer of hope
Should I shouldn't I
If I truly knew the answer to that
Surely then i wouldn't question why
All as I like as you
Do and follow the signs of our intuition
That we believe and think
Will do us and lead us into no harm
The final outcome or destination
On the other hand
Is no more in but out out of our hands
And no amount of planning
Over or calculated thinking
In the end will change the outcome
As it is no more up to you
As it is up to me
What will surely and is about bound to happen
Everything and everything in regards
To this so called life
Personally I think is going to happen
Whether or not we like it or not
All we are left with in the end
Is hoping it happens to someone else
If it is bad
And hoping it happens to us
If it is good
What mama don’t know
Wont hurt her
Until I’m found dead
What mama don’t know
wont hurt her
Until there’s I’m bleeding
On my bed
What mama don’t know
Wont hurt her
Until there’s a bullet in my head
What mama don’t know
Wont hurt her
Until I’m forever dead
Are you an angel from heaven
Or an object of my obsession
I don’t know
Are you the woman I can find
Or are you a phantom that haunts my mind
I don’t know
Was I your prince on the qui vive
Or was a fool playing make believe
I don’t know
Do you have someone else to see
And do you even remember me
I don’t know
I dithered , dathered circumspect
Picked up winded said mantle clock
Winded yes , but yet did not set the
time correct
For i was myself beside ,
disconnected still stuck up
caught up
Fretting festering over the
ensuing arguments and pending
postmortem
Am i in shock
Should i be in the dock
Should i be called as both
witness for the prosecution
and defense
And do i should i have a case to answer for
Crimes both present my conscious
cohesion thought bought and paid
for future proofed
Aloof and soley based on half truths
and recriminations
With social D.N.A thrown into the
mix for good measures
Always a pleasure never a chore
unti all we are left with and know
Is even if or when a clock is
winded up
Unless it's time is set correct
It's use and job is deemed
redundant pointless
Reduced to merely ornamental
circumspect evidence
In the trial of the century
Millennials standing most assured
need no knowledge of the war
Too evolved, won’t be anymore,
Yet lessons prevent they ignore
For war was long before their time
and now all are living fine
how or why not on their mind
assured all war is left behind
Oh how dumb and naive they sit
refusing vision to help predict
unlearning our repeated habit
as though a choice to conflict
See war is not always chosen
the survivors are not selected
War is a need to oppose them
Survive or naturally rejected
Every century, every place,
every grouping, every race,
every intention, every faith,
war returns, war we face
And war will kill the ignorant
wipe them out so fast
ignorance to war and,
it’ll be your last
You won’t evolve just follow circles
overtime repeat resurface
think you’re clever, just a circus,
your attitude, your life, surplus
They who think they don’t need war
will perish and be no more
refusing know-how ignorant course
destined to lay dead on floors
See war is not what we want
but it is what we do
stop being a millennial pons
unintelligent and screwed
HELP ME LORD GOD I DON’T KNOW- -
Lord as I raise my hands this day;
As I open up my mouth as to pray;
Father
I don’t know?
HELP ME LORD GOD I DON’T KNOW
I pray for the people
Lord
I say will you keep them
So
I don’t know?
HELP ME LORD GOD I DON’T KNOW
Lord I have pains
And I have plans
But all my stands;
Are in your hands;
And as I call out your name;
I don’t know?
HELP ME LORD GOD I DON’T KNOW
And I feel so ashamed, that I won’t be able to shine;
That I won’t be able to free my mine
Of all the doubts
Of all the shames
Of all the drowns
My mind is heated up
I’ve lost my loving heart
I need you I need you much…
If I am a sinner
How can I pray for others?
If I myself needs salvation for my soul;
HELP ME LORD GOD I DON’T KNOW
Help Lord,
Help me God..
Hello
I don’t know?
3/25/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.2019©
Negativity and uncertainty are not in
My vocabulary I only see positively
I am almost certain that I cannot write
About uncertainty or negativity
But on the other hand I do feel negatively
About this poetry and uncertain if it will win
And the voice inside my head tells me
If I do not enter this contest I certainly will not win
So what shall I do enter and not win or
Not enter and not win I have no clue what to do.
Contest name: Plucking The Poisonous Parrot
Sponsored by: Maureen McGreavy
Date of Poem: 01/18/2019
23
I don’t know how
I haven’t let them down
But I do know
If they knew
How much
I truly appreciate
What they do
It sux being homeless
But when you got a
Good family it makes
It easier
I don`t know why I wrote this
You must remember this, a kiss
is not enough I have to pay the maid
as time goes by.
Tomorrow she will be back and do my den
it`s full dust flying in the breeze like half-forgotten dreams
and projects never done.
You must remember this I was not good at dusting shelves
this because today I feel old
but tomorrow I will be like Tarzan and not believe
that life will ever end.
This is how we keep it
Our own exIusive members club
Quid pro Quo
You scratch my back I scratch yours
Wink wink nudge nudge
Said the contestant to the judge
Know what I mean
You place I place
Same old faces
Trading places
With no more spaces left to aplly
Sorry we are Full
If you know what I mean
I don't know what to do
Or even to whom I can turn
its been so long since Ive heard from you
I have done nothing but cry and cry
until all my eyes do is burn
I don't know where you could be
or even if you are okay
you just up and disappeared from me
not even a goodbye did you say
again all i have from this is a broken heart and broken promises
why cant you just man up Jake
and tell me finally what you really want
i don't know how much more my heart can take
when all its your voice and everything about you i miss
and my memories you continue to haunt
ive loved you so unconditionally
never asking you for more than you could give
why cant you be as straightforward like me
either be with me or let me go so i can try to move on with whatever life left to live
**** I come up with is deep
so sit back and peep
let this sink in
where do I begin
here let me attach this cord and start to send
mic check 1 2 3 connection connection
sorry I have to tell you this my friend
you will live to see the world end
or more like feel it end
this is no pretend
I have been given
a reason not to be preaching
rather be reaching out to humanity
before we have a natural blast
and the core of our earth gives out at last
gives its last laugh
what is a laugh what is a tear
when we all live in fear
I feel it something is near
I know we are going to be destructed
just dont know the year. -TA
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