Long Dont know Poems
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I wish I could say sorry
I wish my ego would allow me to reach out to you .
So much to say but no voice to say it
I refuse to let you win
I refuse to say sorry
I love you and I forgive you ,words I wish I could say ...sorry
I refuse to let you win
I refuse to say sorry
My heart is sorry that you are not here
I just can't open my mouth to say sorry
I am walking away hoping you would say dont leave
Praying that you could see how much I need you to say sorry
How sorry I am ...I just refuse to say it
I guess we both dont know how to say sorry
It's too hard to say
I am angry at you for leaving me
I dont know how to say sorry
I am too proud to say I am sorry
I love you and need you but I refuse to say sorry
Sorry a word I will not speak
My heart is heavy my tears are real but I refuse to let you win so I will not say sorry .
I walk away in pain
Broken and shattered but I refuse to say sorry.
A word I will not speak
Saying I am sorry is letting you win
Saying I am sorry means I am wrong and you are right
I refuse to say sorry
I refuse to let you win but I am sorry
I just cant say the word and let you win.
Self knowledge equated to the encyclopedia
and perceived facts, products of personal reasoning
the efficacy of thoughts should not be questioned
and assumptions simply made real and absolute
Typical of such a thought stamps on convictions that
the banana and plantain are the same
a superior race surely exist
leg size has a great correlation with the male’s genital
the measure of one’s success is solely factored
in his accumulation of wealth
and money is the root of all evil.
This mindset can walk on hot coal just to prove these points
Columbus was the first European to visit the Americas
bulls are colour blind and bats are completely blind
women are subordinates to men
and a pure heart is one which covers its body from head to toe
This mind can even tear its clothes to rags
in displeasure to your opposition to issues such as
Sydney is Australia’s capital
the earth’s evolution is the cause of day and night
Africa is a country and its inhabitants exchange
morning greetings with the Lion and the Chimpanzee
and Neil Armstrong is the first human to journey into out space
Despite carrying the internet even to the dreams
and having global captions mixed with daily breath
assumptions such as these are nurtured
religiously, with rigidity and military acceptance
the biggest illiterate of the 21st century is one
who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn
so said Alvin Toffler, the Australian Educationist.
Oh sorry! The American futurist
I carry a part of the void with me wherever I go. It was with me long before I felt it. Longer still before I knew what it was and what it was taking from me.
I always feel its pull now, slowing my every step, draining my every thought.
I tried to ignore it, understand it, make peace with it, accept it, destroy it...
But it never slows.
Only grows.
Every knock down strengthens it, draining more and more of whats left.
My chest is hollow
My legs are weak
My mind is collapsing.
How much longer, how much more can it take, before im reduced to nothing?
I can see almost nothing but the void,
hear almost nothing but its crackling hum,
feel almost nothing... except its pull.
Am I even really here anymore?
Im slowly losing all sense of separation.
The only thing left that keeps me here is Hope.
Hope that I will find a way out.
Hope that ill find myself again.
But can Hope outlast the Void?
Can I?
I honestly dont know anymore.
The Hope is my last remaining tether.
But how long can that hold?
Maybe I will find a way out.
Maybe whats left of me will be enough.
But if Hope can't even survive...
What will be left of me?
Crime wave, crime pays
Crime goes on all day
But its not a crime to
feel the way i feel
Say the things I say
I stole your bike
cause had built in getaway
I stole your wife bewcause
She said she wasnt
into it anyways
I dont know why Im so
Worried about it.
God knows the world
Servbes me cold
So I sent your wife
riding your bike righ
Back into your life
Right back to you
that
Right here in the situation
Right here in the clench
Jammed up in the bottleneck
Right here in the strategic conversation
Youre complete dissertation
Your doctorites thesis
On masterbation
You otta check
Direct deposit your
Thoughts through
your hollow neck
If you check what I bought
You know
That its time that
Its time to inspect
Bloody Mary
I know marry was a good mother
No wonder my pen bleed again
There Is a cry from a distance
This voices sounds like a captivated souls
The voices are full of complains
This sounds like a call for help
This look like a people intimidated
Deprived and forgotten
Their calls are the prove
Is all over the screen of consciousness
The eyes could see how the innocent grieve
The ears could hear their calls for freedom
I dont know a good day for this souls
Cos day to day their dark days never disappear
Their morning has no sun
Their noon are covered with shames
This lands of hopelessness are not far
From so many of us
So stretch hope to hopelessness
Give love to the hated ones
Share joy to the sad minds
Be a reason they got to smile again
Rise their depressed heart to happiness
We all globally are meant to live as one
We all need love it doesn't matter
Who you are
We need no more wars
Life is a free zone
If we can only live with love
All we suffer will be a past
Our next generation will continue to be
A blessing to the universe
Our earth will suffer no more
The greed of man will die
The ego of power will exist no more
I was told marry was a good mother
Why then are we turning the world to an scary
Bloody Mary
Here we are, there we go
here i am, there you are
how can we be the cause of each others pain still
"Everytime i think about you i dont know its either im happy or sad
hoping not just to play you, but hey you try to do the same thing
im sorry if i seem weak or if i try too hard
my heart hurts to see an old friend when she looks at me with her head down
oh i dont know tomorrow i might go to jail
all in one night i jeapordized my freedom
cause im so hotheaded, hotblooded passion that pulls up, with your hair pulled back
then you let it fall down and then i get out this mess im in, you know i will, u know i will
i know with me everyday its something else,
im always trying to be good but i always end up doin bad things i know im mean to you in a bad way. i guess im not right in the head becuz all i see is a vision of a man when i lay down, except last night when i talked to you , you looked so worn out stressed out, why would you be with him when you could be with the man that u love still, its okay whatever you want its your choice, just please consider how much hangs in the balance, i dont even know if its talent, if im talented, or just sick of these lame conversations that people have with me, talking about all their troubles,but i have so many i cant even think straight
but i concentrate on the solution and i usually dont treat you with the love i feel becuz i dont love you if you dont love me, im sorry im a playa, im a crook, convict con-artist, tryin to find a way in your heart just so i can hurt him, i flip and turn words twist and bend the truth, make up *****just to send to u, becuz im trying to break down the fortress of your heart, count my attempts add em up, cross another day out on my calender, there goes another month, cross another month off my calender, and we collide so different then what we use to be, use this use them but dont try to use me or put me in their group girl, no enemy can stop me, even when men set the net, let their own foot be caught, slip and slide away, not trying to be slick with, or run game on you, so dont try to run game on me,
Smoking and drinking what the hell were u thinking ?
Theres No food on the table , the lights always blinking
We ain't got cable
I thought we were stable, now They want us out of the building!
It's your fault to why I'm sinnin and stealing .
Do you know what the hell Ive been feeling ,
Watching the person who should be your hero Popping pills in the kitchen ;
cutting your self because u feel like nobody's listening .
You ain't got a job, so you're selling your body for 50 bucks to anybody that's willing .
Just so you can give it to some dudes that be dealing.
Giving up yourself for heroin
The pain in her voice is bellowing
Empty bottles by the pillow - an
Do you know how many times I've thought of killing my self!
I'm here for you but you dont want the help.
Hollow tips laying on the shelf
I hide the gun , so the devil wouldnt catch you if you fell ;
becuse without a doubt u deserve to go to hell and burn in a cell for the burdens you've made me feel.
We can't afford the meal, still ain't got a deal , I know your heart done broke whens that gonna heal ?
Crack pipes all up on the floor , demons waiting at the door . I can't take no more , she's begging me for more ,
I wanna just let her go , turn her in and forget the sin but the pain she gets without it is hurting me much more .
Now where the hell is God ? He must not love the poor , the Devils at the door he accepts the flawed;
I can't be wrong when survival's my cause.
In trying get us out she just cares about Hennessy some backwoods and the kush up in her mouth.
I can't take it anymore I wanna break out of this nightmare, I'm tired I just wanna scream and shout , maybe finally take a deep breath of fresh air.
I can't because theres no one to answer my prayers and all you can do is blindly stare , It's not fair but lately I've been thinking our ship set sail now its sinking. I give up the pains too much I'm tired of living , no more hope I give up on wishing;
You're always missing you never listen, I dont know what else to do so I guess I'll just start smoking and drinking.
Form:
I mean could it be any worse on this level
Trying to keep it together not lose control
Is this just a curse like the work of the devil
Perhaps it's true my spirit he has then stole
And why I always dwell, this loss of self worth
Because inside feels like this bottomless pit
As at times it dose feel like it is hell on earth
A light at the end of the tunnel, it's no longer lit
If I could only for once find some sort of heaven
Misplaced, if I'd watched where I had then trod
But would I still have this feeling of Armageddon
Looking for saving grace forever praying to god
It is that same old feeling the same old marignrol
Its like hay mister am I really ever being heard
I feel like an unsolved case, this troubled soul
I can hear a whisper but though never any word
A TROUBLED SOUL ORIGINAL IDEA BACK IN 2001 CHANGED SCAPPED SO MANY TIMES
BECAUSE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT IN TO RIGHT CONTEXT STILL NOT HAPPY
WITH THIS ALSO WANTED TO MAKE FOUR VERSE RATHER THAN SIX VERSE
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FOR EXAMPLE HELL ON EARTH IN ONE LINE SOUNEDE BETTER THAN TRYING TO MAKE TWO LINES INTO ONE VERSE
FELT LIKE TRYING TO DRAG OUT TO MUCH I DONT KNOW AN EXSTENSION OF
STATE OF MIND STATE OF CONFUSION AND SHADOW OF DOUBT MORE PERSONAL
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
PAST AND PRESENT a troubled soul written 2012 2013 by my self davidscott
this part one to a shadow of doubt....................................
I try to give you your hearts desire
I try to go the extra mile
Because I love to see you happy
I love to see you smile
We make sound plans together
So we achieve our dreams with ease
And whatever you have asked of me
Ive always given free
You tell me that im a good man
You say you love me so,
But lately you just ignore me
Like im someone you dont know
You make plans with other people
I used to think it was all right
But now you would rather spend your time
with them
And leave me alone at night
I know my job is hard to take
And i travel oh so far
I only do it for the both of us
To enjoy life where we are.
I feel my heart is bleeding
From reading all the painful signs
I thought i stood somewhere within your heart
But lately im the last in line
I tried to love
But you left me bleeding
Cracked dreams and love receding
Will I ever try again
Or will I give up and let it end
Just let it out
I'll listen
Our love grows like water
But we let it sink, and let it glisten
Tell me where we went wrong
Every I love you was forced
But don't worry about it all
Evening scars and a blade
I can only erase mistakes I've made
Watching as your figure fades
But me, I am a mistake
Think of our love as a race
Keeping our love at a pace
But all I need to do is vent
Last year alone I had 30 attempts
Get a gun to my head so that I get exempt
From suffering a heartbreak
Suffering a loss
I'm scared to lose you, who I hold close
Gave me fake love until I overdosed
Our love was made of material things
Gave me pain until my head rings
But its fine until
I reach in my pocket for the thing I keep tucked
BANG!
Now I can end the pain
Gun to my head
mix my blood with the rain
Eyes turned black from the pain I cant contain
Slit my throat its all the same
Cut my wrist, no you dont know my name
I cant take it so I
Take pills to numb the pain
Slit my wrist to make me tame
Cut my throat its all the same
Rope and a chair for feelings I cant contain
I tried to love
You left me bare
I decided to use a bullet to the brain
To send a final prayer
To those I love
I'm sorry I'm leaving
Hang myself on the clouds above
Is love real
Or was it fake
Told me I was a steal
You lying snake
I tried and put everything at stake
But you robbed me of it all
I want to die but I cant see where
I want to live but I cant end the pain
Tell me why I hide
Tell me how to die
Under a tree to hide from the rain
Hide in my thoughts to escape the pain
Hide in my friends to keep me sane
Cower in my house to stay in my lane
I tried
I died
I lost it all
I cried as you dug my grave
I smiled as you hid my pain
But it all was a lie
You told me to die
You said for me to commit suicide
So I tried
I disappeared into the vast emptiness of your heart
I became a forgotten name
Like a moth to a vanishing flame
But I never recovered
Dragging my body
Wherever is tame