Ditzy Poems

I'm an Oxymoron

I think I am an oxymoron
quite different but the same.
Understanding less is more 
Subdued, yet can’t be tamed.

I’ll split in two while being whole
ditzy and still brainy.
Make many plans without a goal
be sad while being zany,

Have champagne taste with beery purse
find ugly very pretty.
Feel really blessed that I’m so cursed
quite stupid when I’m witty.

You see, there’s more than one of me
sometimes I’m up when down.
Politely rude when wrong but right
Show then a smiling frown.

Clearly confused, I know I am
more forward than behind.
Get close to you while staying free
be stingy when I’m kind.

Loud silence lets me contemplate
and dream when I’m awake.
To keep in front, I must backdate
my words, just give or take.

I like shiny things

I love chrome bumpers
Sequins on headbands
Rhinestones on sweaters
Colored gemstones that are polished
Confetti, glitter,
Anything ritzy, ditzy or sparky
I love shiny things
Could I be a crow?

Kid's

Yeah.
We're kids.
We get ditzy quick.
Thats is how it is. 
Be back back in a bit.
Lickety- Split.

sassy brassy classy cat

I put hot pink pajamas on my cat Scat.
She twists her tail, for she knows where she’s at
A sassy, brassy, classy, ritzy, ditzy, diamond cat.
worth all the trouble, said my cousin Pat.

For she is smug and self-assured, a joyful cat.
I hear her coming now, with her pitter pat.
Dressed in her fancy pajamas, my cat, Scat.
Uh-oh, I think what she is carrying is a live rat!

Ditzy Drunk Driveress Limerick

        Suzette, alas,so drunk at the bar.
        Decided to drive home in her car 
        Oops, ran over a skunk.
        Heavens it really stunk.
        Out of her car, she studied stars.


                   7/1/2023

Peppy Petals

blooms
bouncy
baby’s breath
busy bee balm
ritzy rose, glitzy gloxinia
zany zinnia, dear ditzy daisy
swanky saffron
flouncy phlox
bonnie
buds

The Itsy Bitsy Glitzy Ditzy Ritzy Kitty

The itsy bitsy glitzy ditzy ritzy kitty 
Makes the room seem rather pretty
My uncle is here, feeling puffed and silly.
His kitty stories are traveling willy nilly.

The itsy bitsy glitzy ditzy ritzy kitty is now….
Grooming herself, so she will be a wow.
She has not yet made us adults bow,
But she is the queen of the kibble chow.

Crunch crunch crunch she eats so loud.
Her chewing is regally arrogant, and quite proud.
In a day or two there might be quite a crowd.
She gives me a look, making me feel humbled and cowed.

What is it about itsy bitsy glitzy ditzy ritzy kitty I wonder.
That makes me feel like a fool that has been slapped by thunder.
She has look that puts me in my place, as a peon at best.
She is the haughty queen of this cat-loving nest.

Whispers Can Be Scary

Whispers can be scary if you're alone.

Voices can sound sinister uttered low.

Branches scrape windows; wind murmurs a moan.

Whispers can be scary if you're alone.

Imagine you go to answer the phone.

"I see you," says a hushed voice you don't know.

Whispers can be scary if you're alone.

Voices can sound sinister uttered low.


July 17, 2021
for the Whispers Poetry Contest of John Lawless
(sorry I wrote wrong the last name of the sponsor the first time I entered this. I knew the right name, but my ditzy brain still wrote it wrong!)

The Neighbor's Cats

The squirrels have disappeared from my backyard
Since the neighbor’s cats have invaded their domain,
And I am taking their sudden absence especially hard
The squirrels have disappeared from my backyard.
It appears that the culprits, the cats, cannot be barred
Complaining to their ditzy owner is all that remains
The squirrels have disappeared from my backyard,
Since the neighbor’s cats have invaded their domain.


May 23, 2021

Lemony Dandelions

lemony dandelions
                          rawrin’ lawn weeds
                       bitter tea leaves
               swarming like bees
       ditzy sweeties writhing
‘round a damsel’s crown
                    X
                  X 
                X 
              X
            X 
          X
        X
      X
    X
  X
X



2/9/2021

Mum and Dad Why Love

Mum asked ?

Why did Dad marry me ?

Because they weren't suited 

He was an intellectual deep thinker

Whilst she was a Ditzy Blonde

No glue no ties to bond beyond the esthetic superficial attraction

But till death till they part they remained

Mostly fighting and hating one another barely getting along

Until death did them part

Sassy Sonnet

peppy porcelain puppy poops on the floor
  wacky winged walrus whizzes on the door
enigmatic eonian elephant espies some bamboo
  clever castrated cormorant shrieks yahoo

brassiere-busting bonobo barfs on the table
  maniacal mystic monkey freaks on cable
sly sonambulent sloth bear slumbers in his cave
  natty naughty nutty newt nests in a wave

dizzy ditzy doormouse dances with a broomstick
  tawdry turgid tiger toys with his joystick
rugged recondite raccoon races up rut-marred roads
  finicky febrile frog farts on frightened toads

this sonnet celebrates sassiness midst sundry incantations
  ~ surrenders to insanity and scoffs at punctuation

President We Never Need

Horn President We Never Need Haiku

Here is what I meant;
President of discontent
And without consent.

To much to endure;
We want to remain obscure
Has big mouth for sure.

He has the lowest
Approval rating achieved
By any President.

Always repugnant 
What he says is redundant
Not know what was meant.

Does have eyes that squint;
Cabinet of discontent;
Never will repent.

Each never relents
Mechanisms of defense (MOD)
While world seems so tense.

Waste (waist) should try to trim
Have many bad names for him
Future appears dim.

Actions are prissy
Appearing like some sissy;
Does drive you ditzy.

Impeach that is true
Only thing which we can do
To get rid of you.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Redundant Retired Veteran and Poet
(Wouldn't you know it?)

A Special Girl

There is this girl,
Blond as can be,
Sometimes had her ditzy moments,
But she is fun,

In all do reality,
A little over weight,
Slow at times,
But she has a head on her shoulders,

Because she isn't dumb,
And is not blind,
She has a heart of gold,
And willing to help all,

Even if she gets stomped on,
It matters to her,
But not much at all,
She gets upset,

Of course she's only human,
But she still did what she does best,
And cares for everyone else,
And not just herself,

As she makes others smile,
And tries to be happy,
A whole still in her heart,
That just seems empty,

Everyone loves her,
For she is great,
But the appreciation saying thank you,

Always came after the fact,
And always to late,
Her life continues,
As she meets this man,

She thought he was good,
With his heart of gold,
He didn't have the looks,
But does have great soul,

Now her heart is filled,
With love and laughter,
Nothing was gave up,
But not gained,

Here in and after,
She made a family,
With kids and all,
And may she live her life,

Not as a fairy tale,
But a new beginning,
For her and all....

My Limit

I'm sick of this large man telling me what I can't do
A woman in the boxing world, who would've thought
Ditzy blonde even know he can't stand the truth
Being submissive and a victim is something I'm not

People have told me my arms are too big
I'm too muscular, too masculine, and not good enough
But, I never will tell myself which hole to dig
Because I know how to fall in and out of love

My body is bruised, broken, and put through hell
I am dancer, a fighter, a rider, and a poet
No one can tell me opinions about myself
Because I have presence, and I damn sure know it

When I walk into the room, I know you know it
Don't tell me when  and where I belong
I come in to hit and the bags and just show it
This fighting spirit of mine will never be gone

Yes, I am a woman and I get punched and take it
This light of mine...there is no hand to dim it
100% authentic! no knowledge to ever fake it
Only I get to tell myself my limit

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