LIFE ESCAPES THROUGH MY HANDS LIKE FINE SAND BETWEEN MY FINGERS
TIME DISINTEGRATES IN FRONT OF MY EYES WITH NO WAY OF SLOWING DOWN.
THE INEVITABLE CREEPS AROUND THE DARK CORNERS AND LURKS IN THE SHADOWS, WISPERING IN MY EARS, DESPERATE TO POUNCE ON ME THE MOMENT I AM VULNERABLE AND EXPOSED TO ITS ELEMENTS.
FEAR OF ABANDONMENT LAUGH AT ME.
CHRONIC FEELINGS OF EMPTINESS PARALYZE ME AND ROB ME OF MY SLEEP AND PEACE.
I SCREAM IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE AND KNOW ONE HEARS ME, AND I CRY AND LET MY TEARS DO ALL THE TALKING WITHOUT SAYING A WORD.
A REPRIEVE FROM MY GOD IS THE ONLY THING I LOOK FORWARD TO, AND FORGIVENESS FOR MY DEEDS AND SINS THAT TORTURE MY SOUL....
You were always so good
At hiding yourself in the dark
I tried and I tried
To throw you out
Of the furthest
recesses of my mind
And somehow
you are still there
Embedded in
the deepest crevices
of my brain
Where I couldn't see you
Lurking there
in the blackness
For thirty years
Waiting ...
for one of those days
When I'm down and out
So you can kick her
When she's already on the ground
Fighting ...
to get back on her feet
Knees buckling
Remembering how
to stand again
One day at a time
Before taking my first steps
Recalling well enough
How to believe
How to smile
How to run
From the darkness
And away into the sun
Where you can't hide from me
Where light and heat
Disintegrates you to dust
Revealing all
That you are and were
Until there is nothing
left of you
To blow on the wind
… Out of sight
Out of mind ...
One day at a time.
Someone would rather not speak the truth
After weighing the cons and pros
They're exquisite egoists
Someone dares to bet the causes
Inspectors weighing the pros and cons
Restrict viewers or ban the speakers
Since then, no truth matters
Only compliment words or praise heard
This is how a law of thermodynamics
Works for all communities
If a system dissipates and disintegrates
As it loosened balance, so does
An interest- congested community cease
The inveracity beauty is on the surface
While leaving bugs inside numerous
I was helpless,
I was shining.
You were knowing.
and bestowing.
When my steps were unsteady,
you held my hand.
You were ready.
Age is just a number, you said
grinning broadly like a
little girl repeating a loving fib.
You wanted a protector,
a guardian of devotion.
But I am not your Paul Bunyan,
the mighty timberman in your dreams.
In my twilight, I remember so many
mighty forests burning to cinder.
Frailty disintegrates the will.
Big-strong-protecting-men wilt with age.
They offer their pleading eyes,
longing to be cradled.
Maturity is mortality ticking.
I was helpless,
I was shining.
You were knowing,
and bestowing.
When my steps were unsteady,
you held my hand.
All I have
of lasting value
is my heart to give
the antiques
in the attic
just gather dust
plastics become brittle
and metal to rust
cloth disintegrates
and if sentiments on cards alone
what true value is a poem?
as museums
need constant
renovation --
an indentured
in and out curator --
while the heart stays with me
everywhere I go --
awake or asleep
unlike tides that ebb and flow
my love for God is constant
enough for me that He eternally
know....
A simple misconception,
Can lead to endless argumentation.
Once it started its initiation,
It'll always have a continuation.
The tension escalates,
While the calmness disintegrates.
How can you mitigate?
A situation from someone obstinate.
Everything starts small,
Then out of its area, it'll crawl.
Slowly climbing over the wall,
Leading to the downfall.
You're not someone I hate,
It's not even up for debate.
Your hunger can't be sated,
You'll uproot all, as if excavated.
The more we talk, the less we agree,
A situation everyone wants to flee.
When every point sparks a ghastly decree,
It can burst into a destructive degree.
Understand the concept,
Don't be inept.
Words have different depth;
If unsure, then don't make a step.
Avoid provocation,
Think of the conclusion.
It might destroy the dominion,
That grew from your affection.
Don't make any sudden demand,
Take a moment to understand.
Misunderstanding is like a quicksand;
Just a step and you'll be a part of the land.
false teeth
prosthetic arms and legs
diapers
wigs
grenades
expired passports and licenses
human skull
ribbons
plastic bottles
papers by the ton
glass
Styrofoam that never disintegrates
food scraps
filling up landfills one item at a time
Mauve sweetheart of mountains
your petals pulse purple twilight and scatter small stars
amongst scars, whilst wars rage on the world's dark stage
and the stage disintegrates, becomes a mass grave,
scissored by shadow and scythed by sorrow.
Yet graves are amethyst-studded with promises of tomorrow;
lifeless lilac revived by meandering kisses of mountain streams...
Sleepy sweet-scented stars dream delicate dusk,
bloom on hostile ground, birthed from rocky earth,
storm-swayed but unbroken, budding
through the longest night, awakening
violet visages unfurling from the heart of dark
to be reborn in gold-gifted dawn.
Tenacious you cling as morning sings
to the small yellow sun that rises
in each resilient heart.
A piece of brown crap metal
What could I do with it?
I did not know, but I knew I would have to try
Since it was free, I lugged it home
Seashells with holes
Discarded by a button factory
Thousands of them, a small mountain
I conjure some ideas and take two pails full home
My parents were both depression babies.
My siblings and I take anything we can get.
Threadbare materials can become rags.
We use it until it disintegrates.
Fabric pieces are saved for future possibilities
To line a pillow, to patch jeans, to make a quilt
Slivers of lace are never discarded
We can decorate doll clothes out of them
A creature dwells behind me
Always lurking, skulking
Robed in shadows, waiting, hovering.
At times a ferocity of claws, shrieks -
Icy vice like grips plunging through me!
Others; a gnawing poisenous whisper...
...seeping slowing...
Through me. Again. Again.
Armour of rational thought and pragmatism/
Disintegrates upon his command.
Positivity swords rebound and shatter!
And so once more I slip, unnoticed,
Back - back - back
To his chosen lair.
There are days granted
when an unhurried still settles
the space where the world
binds to what is you
and folds the sense of difference
into a seamless whole.
Speech becomes the whisperings
of leaves, raindrops,
forest murmurs in the tall trees.
Touch is in the tendrils
of a vine, waving in air in search
of an anchoring branch
and sight, the composite
of every living eye into
an almost infinite view.
There is no boundary
to distinguish at what point
being becomes something
other than all until sadly
it falls asleep and once again
disintegrates into a dream
and a separate you.
moments
of
reflection
silhouettes &
blurs
detail
disintegrates
out
of
focus
shapes
become
fusions
of
colour
shimmering
impressions melt
into
memory
of
veiled
movement
of leaves
whispers
in
abstract
illusions
endless whole
yet
so alive
facinations
fixed light
in
contemporary
with imagination
blended
with
the exquisite
wrought
&
transcribed
views
naturalistic
derived
from reality
...revealed
To reclaim light of our soul,
bliss disintegrates ego,
then that that never was dies
and we see the truth.
callous the call of
---the LIVE persons lives to die
flesh so body yet
spirit soul lives on
forever decay and rot
flesh disintegrates
flesh so body yet
---the persons lives to so die
callous the call of
12/12/23
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2023©
Yang+Yin optimal health economics
fueling wealthy cooperative politics
Leads to less survivalist
Yang v Yin
Also,
Yang x Yin
multiplies SunLight x EarthPower
cooperative empowerment
fuels enlightening reiterations,
integrations,
creolizations
As Yang/Yin divides
separates
disintegrates otherwise win/win
healthy systems.
So, just a quick restorative justice question--
Let's imagine a homeless adolescent (Yang)
and an angry and resentful parent (Yin)
left behind
at what used to pass
as their peaceful white picket-fenced
house
home
habitat.
Do we assume the defiant
rebellious
often self-vindicating
PTSD and ADHD,
homeless adolescent
is typically at fault?
maybe?
Or
do we blame
and shame
the still housed adult
working one
or two
or three jobs?
Why not both
and why not avoid condemning
either Yang or Yin
Perhaps complicated
with trauma intergenerational histories
as old as slavery
and warrior rape
and tribal sacrifices
of adolescent trust
and beauty
and soul emptying absence
of win/win integrity,
secular intent,
sacred hope.
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