Best Woozy Poems
Four legs quiver
like clumsy cabrioles
striking smooth gray rivers
of zig-zag sidewalk barrios
in rhythm with happy shivers
syncopated on a muffled drum
as we talk and stroll
On our way
hand-in-hand
we persuade and pretend
this day away
taunting and cajoling to demand
laughing “hide and seeking”
chasing and skedaddling
poking and peeking
like cuddly pandas
or canoodling otters
splashing and clambering
We roll and meander
impetuously twiddling all the way
atop gregarious green promenades
we pause in slight delay
as we prattle and prance
as we dance to the Crickets singing
nodding to their fiddling
frolicking with all the jiggling
Serendipitous stalks
of snickering flowers pop
to dazzle and razzle our wits
we glide in stripes of candy bits
of rainbows bright
Purple painted paisley
fragrantly flairs in pairs
of scented lavender sweetness
among black-eyed daisies
dusting the woozy air
in a meadow’s billowing bloom
sunflowers sunbathe in costume
We giddily tarry
as we carry
a feast of fancies and treats
artsy bits of charmed delicacies
filled with a peck of upcoming kisses
enticing fantasies that wink
Snuggling shenanigans lead us astray
as we find our rootie-tootie hideaway
hugs as we shy away
from tomfoolery jesting
to lay down and swoon
looking up at the soon to be stars
lingering for the coming of the moon
Murmurs of Starlings
gaggle their harmonies
of chirps
in cheeks and broadened beaks
thrumming tiny melodies.
Swallows sweep and woo
fixated on this unabashed swain
through songbird strains
announcing a shrilling review
broadening in sweet refrains
“I love you…I love you”
Fingerpainting the Monet sky
puffy white cotton words appear
from clouds passing by
while tiny violins spin in the air
piccolos peep
pigeon-toed Doves coo and weep
their contentedness to appease
trailing off the pleasant breeze
I fall upon my knees
My words explode to strew
like a thousand storms set free
“I love you…I love you…I love you”
The cafe burnt alive as soon as you
Set your patent leather boot inside
And walked right into this unknown,
Mysterious yet familiar world
Of witty writers and pious poets
With their poetic pens.
My tantalizing timid eyes
Met your musically amused eyes,
And I heard a symphony unsung,
Strange, how can you be just a stranger,
When your eyes can speak so much danger,
Then how much your heart would want to say, stranger.
Strangers don't sing symphonies,
Nor do they linger nostalgically
Like a locket on an ashen neck.
They don't even say hello,
And there I sat with my cold heart,
Wondering like a bashful bard,
What were the chances,
Those burning glances,
And you left aloofly
With your latte
Leaving the ashes behind.
Soot everywhere,
Here and there,
On my lips where
Your eyes lingered,
On my fingertips,
Wanting to write
The desires of the
Waltzing, woozy heart.
Aunt Ethel said to Uncle Fred,
Let’s attempt the starfish in bed,
Old Ethel insisted,
Till Fred’s back got twisted,
They best stick to sleeping instead!
Original poem by Jan Allison
Fred couldn't stand and was writhing in pain
Ethel was mad and looked on with disdain
So he took a blue pill
Then went in for the kill
And now performs like a stallion again.
But the blue pills power started to wane
As Ethel begged him to do it again
But things came to a stop
Poor Fred started to flop
So they gave up and cracked open champagne...
Then Ethel got hold of a book
Fred fainted when he had a look
Twas the calmer suture
Some poses may suit her
But Fred said it made him feel crook
Aunt Ethel said Freddie my dear
You truly have nothing to fear
Cos tonight’s the night
Much to my delight
We’re swinging from the chandelier!
Old Fred said I don’t understand
Your desire’s got right out of hand
If you want so much sex
Go next door and see Rex
He’s the randiest guy in the land
Aunt Ethel said you’re being silly
At aged ninety I’m no young filly
I still want to have sex
With you and not Rex
Cos Rexie’s got a tiny Willy!
The champers made Ethel quite woozy
Fred’s shattered so he had a snoozey
They were woken at four
It was Rex from next door
No thank you said Ethel I'm no floozy.
Rex hammered again on their door
He said Ethel I've said this before
My sex life is shocking
I hear your bed rocking
These paper thin walls I abhor.
Fred woke up with the pounding on the door
His language was very blue as he swore
He said " what do you want Rex" ?
He said "geriatric sex"
Cos' with Ethel I've done it twice before...
Ethel blushed and she said sorry Fred
Just last winter Rex took me to bed
BUT you were with fat Mable
Making out on our table
So I slept with Rexie instead
Final verse by Belle Bellevue
Fred said Mable has nothing on you
But what’s a poor bloke supposed to do
I heard you and Rex
Planning to have sex
What’s good for you is good for me too.
Collaboration with Jan Allison.
Written 2nd June 2021.
Well if it isn’t the Italian Princess herself! I just KNEW we’d finally meet. It must be our:
Karma,
Charma
(Whatcha say we…Ow! Look, you left a mark)
I swear to GOD I haven’t been drinking Deb! It’s YOU that’s making me all:
Woozy,
Guzzi
(Hold me up whouldja cher? Ohh yeah)
Wow, I’m trippin’ out Ortello! It’s like FAR OUT to rap with you man and those threads are like:
Groovin’
Ruben
(I’m an old hippie, what did you expect?)
Well look who’s here! Andrea, the sonnet queen herself! What you drinkin girl? How bout some:
Brandy,
Andie?
(Or maybe some ‘Southern Comfort?’ Ouch! You too?)
OH-MY-GOD, its Ms. Claudon-I-I-mean ONCLAUD (gulp) you’re getting me all:
Sweaty,
Nettie!
(Here, check my pulse)
C’mon Ms. Richards! Let’s take a walk and have a nice long talk about poetry…Why do you:
Tarry,
Carrie?
(I KNOW you’re busy but I’m SO lonely)
The Flower of the East! May I have this dance? Whew! Lordy me...Do I detect the sweet aroma of:
Jasmine,
Yasmin?
(This was SUPPOSED to be for your contest but I footled around and didn’t read the footling RULES)
~It Was One Of Those Mornings Contest~
Sponsor: Sara Kendrick
Stanza I
Nauseous and dizzy first thing in the morning,
this baby was conceived without any warning!
I smell coffee and poor me can't have a cup,
walking towards the bathroom I tripped on the pup!
Pressed start on the blender to make a smoothie,
oh no! I can't believe once again I feel woozy!
Stanza II
Ahhhh...feel so rested from my good night of sleep,
I just love the feeling of baby boy kicking with his feet!
Sweet lil' Ella just came in for a good morning visit,
hugs and kisses, oh how much I love my life, I'll admit!
Mmmmm...I smell bacon! My house is so heartwarming,
for once I had a wonderful and memorable morning!
~Date Written: March 1, 2016~
Dr Doom: Well Reed, we meet again, and excuse me for putting your dear ex to sleep, or she'd use her powers to conjure that defense shield that would make capturing the "Eccentric Four" a bit more tiresome.
Mr. Fantastic: Well, Doom...
Dr Doom: I'm a doctor! The only real doctor around here.
Mr. Fantastic: Oh, quite right. Your four years report card, hmm?
Dr Doom: Are you forgetting where you're at? We are not in a classroom listening to some old fool babbling on and on and...
The Human Torch: Oh, you mean like what you are doing now old man, or is it, old fool!
Dr Doom: You smudgy little butane you!
The Human Torch: If you hurt my sister, I'll... oh sis you're up, are you ok?
The Invisible Woman: Just a bit woozy, but I'll be fine Johnny.
Dr Doom: You'll do what!
The Human Torch: Huh?
Dr Doom: You said that if I hurt your sister, you'll do ... well, what, what were you going to do?
The Thing: Well, if he doesn't do it, then I will!
Dr Doom: Will what! I'll what! What is it that you guys will do? Who do I have here? The Fantastic Fools!
The Human Torch: You'd better watch out, don't get my buddy Ben mad, ... or he'll get STONED.
Mr. Fantastic: Ready Sue.
The Invisible Woman: Yes Reed.
Mr. Fantastic: Ben now!
The Invisible Woman: Johnny, quick!
Dr Doom: Huh, where, who, when, what?
The Human Torch: You forgot the "how"! Ready Reed.
Mr. Fantastic: Yeah, I got him. Get on board our ship and fire it up!
Dr Doom: Ugh, Let go of me you Rubber Duck!
Mr. Fantastic: You mean, Doc, as in doctor, right, Sucker Loon! Okay, guys, here I come. Speed away, Ben!
The Thing: Okay, and away we go!
The Human Torch: Woo Hoo!
Dr Doom: I'm all tied up, get me out of here!
Speaker: The men just ended their shift and we will be back tomorrow to untie you sucker, I mean doctor.
Dr Doom: We? What do you mean we?
Speaker: We all joined the Space Union yesterday. I know you're mad doctor, so after we untie you tomorrow morning, I will have a Grievance form ready for you to fill out. Oh yes, you would will need to initial and sign that form, but you needn't worry, I will have it highlighted ... then it'll be easy on the eyes, okay. Bye doc.
Dr. Doom: I'm a doctor, not a duck ... AHH!
Written: August 25, 2023
________________________________________________________________
Midnight's Ink unveils,
Loneliness penned in moonlight~
Silent confidant.
Revealing secrets,
Ink bleeds, bares my deepest thoughts~
Moon, my only friend.
Midnight's sparkling dance
Moon glimmers, sea shimmers bright~
Wave flitters, night glitters
Whirling in a haze,
Woozy daze dizzy muzzle~
Life's wild, tangled maze
wispy wallflower wallowing waltzes while walking with a woozy wobble
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Submitted on May 29, 2025 for contest MONOKLITTERATION sponsored by NETTE ONCLAUD - RANKED 4TH
Dragon ran excitedly, into my family room.
He’d been out all day, doing what was anyone’s guess.
He claimed he needed money, a thousand dollar loan;
It was for my birthday gift; or so that’s what he stressed.
“That’s not the way it works”, said I,
“You don’t buy it with my money”.
“I know”, he replied, “but it’s more than I have,
I need a loan and I’ll work for it Mummy”.
And so he scrubbed and mopped; swept and saved;
until he had his dough.
Off he went and spent all day;
not for his meals, did he ever show.
When my birthday rolled around; he handed me a box;
“It’s professionally wrapped”, he proudly claimed.
Obviously it wasn’t for it looked like a mangled fox.
“Open it”, he cried while clapping paws with glee.
His enthusiasm, non-contained; it was oh so raw,
said he’d gotten it more for himself;
I eagerly, opened it with my own two paws;
It was such an amazing sight; he’d gotten me an elf!
“Whew!” he said, breathing a sigh;
“I thought you’d not open it in time…”
“You wrapped a house elf in a box, alive?
No wonder he’s pale white!”
I pulled him out; gave CPR and he was revived;
although, still a bit woozy, from his recent plight.
Oh so delighted my elf was, just to be alive;
he’s dedicated to me; for the rest of his life.
Sometimes an
Obsolete
Old bulb inside him
Flickers on
And dimly lights
His woozy thoughts
And thirst to write
A song.
Recall he's human,
That's to say, he
Thinks he
Still adheres,
Not just a washed-up
Singer, missing
Schedules to
Appear.
The stained and
Scribbled rhymes
Of scattered nonsense
On the floor,
Three gulps of Vodka,
Bring applause,
Adoring fans,
Encore.
Gene Bourne
06-01-14
.
We can smile like a child who does not know yet many things,
In simple things he’s satisfied, showing his contented feelings.
We can smile like a drunken man, feeling so drowsy and woozy,
Who sings and wears a smile , trying to forget and not to worry.
We can smile like a chimpanzee, who’s so happy with a banana
After giving us a big grin, we can leave him and write our stanza.
We can smile like my grandpa who dearly loves my grandma
Feeling Adonis with his strength, he’s never been into a stigma.
We can smile like blooming sunflowers on those summer days,
Despite the debilitating heat, we can still stand tall with grace.
We can smile like the sun that often shines so bright
Assuring that everyday you and I will gonna be alright.
We can smile and smile even the world sometimes wrenches our heart,
For sadness is a transient and in God’s love, He keeps us without a doubt.
You can smile just like me, who’s already experiencing a bad memory,
But I think I’ve nothing to worry about, for the computer does all for me.
At all times, you and I can wear a smile in any way we want
Infecting others to retain beauty, stay young in body and in heart.
June 24, 2013 4.55am
Second Place
Contest: Smile
Judged: 6/26/13
Sponsor: My greatest poet and sis, Linda
Note: Giving my best to make you smile by making it a little bit funny ;). Have a great day in sunshine! Big sweetest hugs!
through dawn fuzzy haze
soused in sunrise cointreau rays
sits the woozy moon
Viv Wigley July 4th 2015
(For contest 'Drunken moon' sponsored by SKAT A)
Fannie Strumpet is a flatulent floozy
With each wiggle her rump lets out a doozy
She blows out so much gas
Foul vapor from her a$$
It's asphyxiating and makes me woozy
Fannie lets 'em rip without hesitation
When I point a finger in accusation
She points hers back at me
and laughs saying, "Phew Wee!"
I'm tempted to enact strangulation
I threatened to have the woman arrested
Indecently walking around bare breasted
She farted in my face
Through her panties of lace
I think I was infected and molested
One night Fannie was with a man she'd just met
When she tooted he left, much to her regret
Rectal fumes exploded
He screamed, "You're corroded!"
Her tail expels toxins like a gas jet
Fannie saw a doctor of proctology
She farted without making an apology
She disgusted him so
He said, "Madame, just go.
You're a noxious threat to world ecology!"
I don't fear being assaulted by her smut
She was sued; the case was open and shut
The streets no longer stink
Cuz Fannie's in the clink
For hiding lethal weapons in her butt
October 1, 2021
May the Gas Be With You-Farts Part 2 Contest
Sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke
The Bomber knifes right through your guard
You duck and weave, a bobbing loon
Contentious crashing, bodies scarred
His lightning fists cradle your doom
Twelve timeless rounds against the champ
His blinding hook you never saw
The mildewed taste of canvas damp
Burnt failure sticking in your craw
Faint echoed cheers resounding deep
Thick sweat and blood now sting your eyes
Concealing bitter tears you weep
To throw the towel in or rise
Surrender is the only shame
You stand and square with woozy smile
There’s naught to lose now in life’s game
Better the taste of blood than bile
6/19/16
©Thomas W. Quigley
Mostly iambic tetrameter
A little lad named Tommy Tum,
just wouldn’t listen to his Mum.
He’d loudly play with other boys,
and wouldn’t put away his toys.
Around the house he’d beat his drum,
Tommy, Tommy, Tum-Tum-Tum.
Oh, how he loved to pound his drum,
Tommy, Tommy, Tum-Tum-Tum.
His father warned with a mean face:
“I make the rules inside this place.
If you don’t listen to your Mum,
I’ll have to spank you on the bum.”
So better listen to your Mum,
Tommy, Tommy, Tum-Tum-Tum!”
You think his eardrums would be numb?
Not Tommy, Tommy, Tum-Tum-Tum.
An energetic, cheerful child,
around the house he still ran wild.
But then when running up the stairs,
tripped on one of his Teddy Bears.
Poor Tommy tumbled on his rump,
down each step bouncing, bump-bump-bump.
Bumpety bump-bump, bump-bump-bump,
he hit the landing with a thump.
Then he began to cry and cry,
while fishing for some sympathy.
But weary Mum said with a sigh,
“you’re lucky that you didn’t die.”
“God punished you,” teased sister Suzy,
as he stood up feeling woozy.
“Now learn your lessons, Tommy Tum,
or else you will stay dumb-dumb-dumb.”
But Tommy, Tommy, Tum-Tum-Tum,
grew up that day with a bruised bum.
That year when Christmas came around,
the Little Drummer Boy was found.
Please Tommy, Tommy, Tum-Tum-Tum,
play for me pa rum pum-pum-pum.
Please Tommy, Tommy, Tum-Tum-Tum,
play your drum pa rum pum-pum-pum.
March 10, 2021
Nursery Rhyme Poetry Contest, Sponsored by Eve Roper