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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Aunt Ethel said to Uncle Fred, Let’s attempt the starfish in bed, Old Ethel insisted, Till Fred’s back got twisted, They best stick to sleeping instead! Original poem by Jan Allison Fred couldn't stand and was writhing in pain Ethel was mad and looked on with disdain So he took a blue pill Then went in for the kill And now performs like a stallion again. But the blue pills power started to wane As Ethel begged him to do it again But things came to a stop Poor Fred started to flop So they gave up and cracked open champagne... Then Ethel got hold of a book Fred fainted when he had a look Twas the calmer suture Some poses may suit her But Fred said it made him feel crook Aunt Ethel said Freddie my dear You truly have nothing to fear Cos tonight’s the night Much to my delight We’re swinging from the chandelier! Old Fred said I don’t understand Your desire’s got right out of hand If you want so much sex Go next door and see Rex He’s the randiest guy in the land Aunt Ethel said you’re being silly At aged ninety I’m no young filly I still want to have sex With you and not Rex Cos Rexie’s got a tiny Willy! The champers made Ethel quite woozy Fred’s shattered so he had a snoozey They were woken at four It was Rex from next door No thank you said Ethel I'm no floozy. Rex hammered again on their door He said Ethel I've said this before My sex life is shocking I hear your bed rocking These paper thin walls I abhor. Fred woke up with the pounding on the door His language was very blue as he swore He said " what do you want Rex" ? He said "geriatric sex" Cos' with Ethel I've done it twice before... Ethel blushed and she said sorry Fred Just last winter Rex took me to bed BUT you were with fat Mable Making out on our table So I slept with Rexie instead Final verse by Belle Bellevue Fred said Mable has nothing on you But what’s a poor bloke supposed to do I heard you and Rex Planning to have sex What’s good for you is good for me too. Collaboration with Jan Allison. Written 2nd June 2021.
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