Best Toilet Roll Poems

   Life
        is 
          like 
 ...

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Make Do and Mend,

Years ago we had jobs
We had fun and money in our pocket
Things were much better then
Once you could go out the door
And...

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There's something I'd like Santa, may I ask,
I don't want lots of presents, just this one,
delivery won't be an easy task
so do the rest, leave...

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Oh, Imodium, 
Constipator of my colon, 
Immobilizer of my bowel; 
You make it possible 
For me to leave 
The house and take 
A long walk...

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Did you rinse your plate after dinner?
pull the covers back when you got up.
Leave the empty toilet roll on the rack,
Or rinse the tea residue...

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The art of writing pooetry for John lawless

I never know when I’ll write poo-etry
So I keep a pen and paper with me
If inspired when I...

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The first year you pledged your love for me
Then we became friends with benefits
Now you look in my eyes and say you feel “empty”
After four...

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With the world in lockdown

What is left to do ?

But log onto soup

And write about it 

It's a sorry state of affairs

In solitary confinement

Such as...

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Love has no limits as we grow older
Excitement's a spice rack and toilet roll holder
We bought from the shop down the road

Comfortable in silence together...

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A troll followed me home one day,
Looking to bring me down.
I told it I didn’t want to play,
To go dig a great deep hole,
Roll its...

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Two metres apart
Is where we start
Then self-isolate
Before it’s too late
Wash your hands
Else virus expands
Using PPE
Helps safety
Society shut
We all stay put
Food shops empty
Used to be plenty
No...

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I’ve picked at it, tore at it
Pulled it with my teeth
My mouth filled up with nibbled bits
Which gave me loads of grief 

I had to...

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Joan Of Ark


Noah was a geyser, a bible kind of guy
Wouldn’t take no messing from a vicious gospel sky
He’d got the nod from Mr God...

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From China, Covid-19 its name, 

Travelled west, and here it came. 

Affecting many, making them ill. 

It’s one purpose, seeming to kill. 

 

Coughing, spreading,...

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Some guys sprinkle when they have a tinkle
and spurt wee wee all over the floor
Then they leave the lavatory seat up
these two actions I simply...

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