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From my lips to Santas ears

There's something I'd like Santa, may I ask, I don't want lots of presents, just this one, delivery won't be an easy task so do the rest, leave mine till later on. As long as you can drop her off by dawn since I don't want the neighbours all to see and start the gossip rounds on Christmas morn it will make life much easier for me. Her graceful curves are bound to turn some heads she's cool and smooth, an object of pure lust adorned with one shade, Queen of all the reds mirror polished and not prone to rust. Mankind has still not built a motor yet as gorgeous as the '69 Corvette. If I am on your naughty list may I humbly offer some words in my defence for maybe you will then understand why what I did, and thus it may make some sense. Inside a restroom stall at work I took from it's dispenser all the toilet roll and left one sheet inside so it would look like it was full when viewed through the small hole. A guy we hate goes in there every day to sit and read, and do a number two so pulling this prank was our little way of getting our revenge,as one must do. And the prank worked, for soon it came to pass he used his newspaper to wipe his ***. Now, nobody got hurt, no-one got blamed it looked like an unhappy accident but he got his comeuppance just the same and that was fine, since it was our intent. Let's face it if you read from front to back it's mainly crap in all the newspapers and he just added more with our 'attack' and still is ignorant of our mean caper. Santa, I know you preach goodwill to all and don't like to wish anybody ill please forgive me I hope that you'll still call there's mince pies and drinks on the windowsill. Just park it on the drive, and if you please through my letterbox can you drop the keys. For contest 'From your lips to Santa's ears' sponsor Phillip Garcia December 1st 2017

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




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Date: 7/4/2018 8:32:00 AM
Congratulations on your win! Enjoyed it. :)
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Date: 7/3/2018 7:18:00 AM
A fun poem and deserving win. Congrats, Viv.
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Date: 12/14/2017 9:45:00 PM
Viv, if I didn't know better, I'd say you and my brother were best of friends at some point. He couldn't quite squeeze out enough shekels for a 'vette so he settled for a Mustang Mach I. As for the prank you pulled, he could have been the mastermind behind it. So, what does that make you? It makes you a number one guy in my book! My brother was my hero because I didn't have the nerve to do some of the things he did. RIGHT ON!!
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Viv Wigley
Date: 12/15/2017 12:44:00 AM
Coincidentally, Curtis, my second all time favourite car is the '69 Mustang Mach one 428 Cobra jet. I got to sit behind the wheel of one as a ten year old, and fell in love. Regards, Viv
Date: 12/3/2017 7:10:00 PM
Okay, so, I was going to enter this contest but I don't think I can top this! This is great! Love the humor. I'm still chuckling.
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Viv Wigley
Date: 12/5/2017 12:39:00 AM
Go on, Rhoda, have a go. I look forward to reading your write. Viv x
Date: 12/2/2017 10:48:00 AM
So much fun to read! Thanks for the laugh,it's something some of us don't do often enough! Loved this!
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Melissa Tracy
Date: 12/8/2017 10:32:00 PM
Oh my goodness! Haha u certainly crack me up thanks again :)
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Viv Wigley
Date: 12/3/2017 2:13:00 AM
Thanks, Melissa, I assume that when you say 'something some of us don't do enough', you mean laugh, not sabotage toilet roll dispensers. Viv x
Date: 12/2/2017 9:44:00 AM
Like this Viv, so much so it got me to write one...
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Viv Wigley
Date: 12/3/2017 2:13:00 AM
Thanks Frederic, I look forward to your submission for the contest. Regards, Viv
Date: 12/2/2017 12:45:00 AM
LOLOLl....just great! This poem should be in the paper! GL in the contest.
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Viv Wigley
Date: 12/3/2017 2:14:00 AM
Thanks, Carole, glad it made you smile. Viv x
Date: 12/1/2017 11:57:00 AM
Absolutely hilarious Mr viv hope you get your mitts on those curves lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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Viv Wigley
Date: 12/3/2017 2:14:00 AM
Still waiting for that lotto win, Jan, one never knows x
Date: 12/1/2017 2:13:00 AM
Oh man this is so hilarious!!! Loved this!
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Viv Wigley
Date: 12/3/2017 2:14:00 AM
True story, too, Arthur, I remember it like it was yesterday. Regards, Viv