From My Lips To Santas Ears

There's something I'd like Santa, may I ask, I don't want lots of presents, just this one, delivery won't be an easy task so do the rest, leave mine till later on. As long as you can drop her off by dawn since I don't want the neighbours all to see and start the gossip rounds on Christmas morn it will make life much easier for me. Her graceful curves are bound to turn some heads she's cool and smooth, an object of pure lust adorned with one shade, Queen of all the reds mirror polished and not prone to rust. Mankind has still not built a motor yet as gorgeous as the '69 Corvette. If I am on your naughty list may I humbly offer some words in my defence for maybe you will then understand why what I did, and thus it may make some sense. Inside a restroom stall at work I took from it's dispenser all the toilet roll and left one sheet inside so it would look like it was full when viewed through the small hole. A guy we hate goes in there every day to sit and read, and do a number two so pulling this prank was our little way of getting our revenge,as one must do. And the prank worked, for soon it came to pass he used his newspaper to wipe his ass. Now, nobody got hurt, no-one got blamed it looked like an unhappy accident but he got his comeuppance just the same and that was fine, since it was our intent. Let's face it if you read from front to back it's mainly crap in all the newspapers and he just added more with our 'attack' and still is ignorant of our mean caper. Santa, I know you preach goodwill to all and don't like to wish anybody ill please forgive me I hope that you'll still call there's mince pies and drinks on the windowsill. Just park it on the drive, and if you please through my letterbox can you drop the keys. For contest 'From your lips to Santa's ears' sponsor Phillip Garcia December 1st 2017