Best Tall Tale Poems
"Billy, it's time! Get up for school!
Your drawing project's due today.
You know about your teacher's rule;
she must have it without delay."
"But, mom, my arm is hurting bad!
There is no way that I can go.
I must stay home, though I am sad...
I'm really hurting, don't you know."
"But Billy, can you lift your arm?"
"I can't, it's painful and too sore."
So now she asked, with mommy charm,
"how high could you lift it before?"
And Billy raised his arm up tall
above his head...his face turned red!
From his warm bed, he had to crawl...
get ready quick for school instead.
honest mum it wasn't me
I didn't take a nibble of the cake
it was just as I walked into the kitchen
I saw something move....mum....I did ...
was the biggest mouse you ever saw,
it was stealthily moving towards the cake
whiskers twitching, nose in the air
I watched amazed
then it pounced, you should have seen him jump,
went at least a foot in the air and landed on top of the icing.
lifted one foot then the other....
all stuck up with wet icing
he began to nibble the cake,
when icing dried he licked his feet clean and ran away,
see mum, you can see his foot prints,
wasn't me mum......honest.
penned 5 may 2016.
Come all ye, kiss that blarney stone
Join in the legend and be known
For the gift of gab
Ye come kiss the slab
Eloquence and luck shall be shown
Hi Mom. Sorry I'm late. I wanted to bring you something cuz I love you.
See, I was walking by the lake and saw this pretty flower waving at me.
It was like it was saying, "Hey Joey, take me home to your Mom."
It kept calling me so I just HAD to swim out and get it for you.
I even had to fight off an alligator when he tried to eat me!
He pulled me under, but I punched him in the nose and he swam away.
But then this big ole snake hissed at me. He had teeth as big as a lion!
I'm not kidding, Mom. I was scared, but I wanted that flower for you.
Welllll.... then this HUGE bird with gold eyes came flying out of a tree,
you know the one that grows out over the lake? This bird was red,
ummm...maybe it was a dragon. Anyway, he screamed real loud and
grabbed the snake just as he was gonna get me. I think that bird
breathed fire and the snake burned all up. Yeah, that's what happened.
"I'm so glad you weren't eaten, Joey, but where is the flower?"
Oh yeah, I was gettin' to that part. I reached for it but a whole
bunch of bees flew out of it, so I had to swim underwater to get away.
My big old dog had no tail
He laid around because he was frail
He ran away with June
Frisky living on the moon
Dinner is fried green and blue quail
Date Written:2/28/2022
HowManySyllables.com
On one summer night’s boldest game
We hunted and attacked vicious pirates,
Riding on bubble rafts of spokes and rubber
Our young skin caressed by the velvet air;
This mission devoted for an honored Celtic God.
Yielding our mighty wooden swords,
We protected the river to save the children
From all the evil and greedy villains…
While enchanted minds conjured fierce tactics.
While moonlight peeped through a blue of cloud,
Suddenly, a yell halted our weary feet…
Mother's voice chimed, “Guys, time for dinner!”
Between reality and play… we still wandered!
Contest: Jesse Day's Tell A Tall Tale
7/5/2016
“HOSPITAL HUMP”
(a tall tale – or not?)
The wind and the cold on the hill
they stood still
as two shadows arrived
near the peak
above what was known
as “Hospital Hump”
a devious, dastardly,
butt crushing bump.
So started the legend
a Grand-dad and Grand-son
who challenged the hill
“OH, just for fun!!”
The younger had shouted
“Papa, do the hump”
to which he replied
“it’s just one more bump.”
They stood at the top
no fear…..maybe traces
looked down on the horrified
frost frozen faces.
Thus the legend was born
of a daring descent
toward the “Hospital Hump”
and all that name meant.
Bright blue of their chariot
rippling with speed
gathering momentum
approaching the deed.
Then, as all of nature
and man stood aghast
they hit “Hospital Hump”
going way, way too fast.
Frozen in time
against pure blue-black light
Papa and Grandson
about to take flight.
The toboggan drew air
as the partnership crumbled
the younger continued
the older – he tumbled
back flipped and rolled
in the feather cold snow.
The toboggan continued
its arc o’er the trees
as the terrified crowd
fell to their knees,
the kid – now alone
looking down on the trees.
Grandpa was up!
Tracing the arc
wondering if
it would touch down
by dark.
The crowd gathered near
unsure of their place
straining they saw
two eyes and a face,
under the snow
an ice covered grin
shouted “C’MON PAPA
LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”
6/30/2016
submitted to – Tell a Tall Tale – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Jesse Day
I worked with a lady called ‘Titch’
Though tiny, she was quite a witch
So bitter and twisted
Her faults can’t be listed
We re-named her the office *****!
Total fiction… I did have a boss we called the dodecahedron… let’s just say she was more than two faced lol
04~17~17
,A Skunk’s ‘Tale’,
Twas a puzzling mid-summer’s eve
When I became acquainted with Steve
Bear with if you can
For Steve’s not a man
He’s an odd little skunk who won’t leave!
I was driving, unwinding that night
As my headlights swam over his sight
On two legs he stood
Like he owned street and wood
I slammed on my brakes out of fright!
When Steve began talking, I stared
As he jumped in my car, I just glared
This skunk, quite verbose
Let it rip, smelling gross
“LORD HAVE MERCY!” I loudly declared!
How I wish I could tell you things changed
Not so fast when your skunk is deranged
I tried to play nice
But his heart is pure ice
Let’s just say his farewell’s been arranged!
1st PLACE!!!
Submitted For: Tall Tales 1 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Jeff Kyser
Date Written: 03-18-2022
Format: HowManySyllable.com
You may not tend to believe me
Perhaps you’ll start to suddenly
Put your logic up on a shelf
Open your mind and let yourself
See things you never dared to see
The year here was 1901
An unknown battle had begun
No news on any TV show
Or Orson on the radio
Records hid, history undone
Bored of the Loch, Nessie came first
From below in the depths, she burst
Icy shards and chill waters flood
And a new taste for Yeti blood
What an abominable thirst
But Yeti was ready for her
Hiding in snow with camo fur
An ambush teamed up with Sasquatch
They tried to take it up a notch
She knew these two were amateur
Nessie had backup too you know
Have you met the Ogopogo?
The hairy duo past their prime
Put their BIG foot in it this time
Until swooped in a flying foe
The Mothman taking up the skies
Could anybody prophesize?
Even he began to pucker
When came the fabled goat-sucker
With Chupacabra laser eyes!
They battled on, these beasts of lore
A great and magic cryptid war!
No end with all sides immortal
Then they fought right through a portal!
One witness left shook to the core
Well that was me, I swear it’s true
After they vanished, no one knew
When they’d come back, or even where
If it had been you standing there,
Then the believer would be you.
June 14, 2022
Tall Tales 3: Quintilla Fantasy Fiction Poetry Contest
Sponsered by: Jeff Kyser
In the small fishing town of Tunafishlips
The competitors lined up all of their ships
The race for the biggest catch had begun
As they listened to how the last winner had won
With all eyes upon him, he began his tale…
“It was thiiiis big”, he announced with such pride
His arms stretching out impossibly wide
“I was first out of the dock and I threw out my line
The water was calm and the weather was fine
I felt the first tug of the catch like the wind in a sail”
His arm span grew wider, the length of a car
“Imagine reeling that in! I ain’t spinnin’ no yarn!
More giant than the biggest angler you’ve seen,
Barely got er’ in the boat, and I ain’t no string bean!”
He told us it nearly pulled him over the rail!
Now his arms were extended the size of a barge
As he thought of how to explain just how large,
This humongous, cold blooded monstrosity was
“So big you could drive a van through her jaws,
Swear on my life, Bigger than a whale!”
“I know you’re all skeptics but make no mistake”,
He stretched his arms longer to either side of the lake
“She was at least this enormous”, he started to shout
“I bet equal to the weight of one million trout!
I couldn’t say for sure, she broke the scale!”
Really riled up now, his arms wrapping the earth
“And she wasn’t just long boys, oh no, the girth!
Thick as a planet and as long as three more,
More angry than my wife when there’s socks on the floor!
But there wasn’t a moment I thought I would fail”
The competitors sat there with open jaw
Some in disbelief, some in great awe
Still wanting to prove to those who would scoff
He stretched his hands out so wide, both arms fell right off!
You wouldn’t believe it! Both loose arms a flail!
They fell into the water, and started to sink
But the damndest thing happened, quicker than a blink
The biggest fish I’ve seen with my own eyes
Swallowed em' whole and swam away in great size,
That’s the last we ever saw, of that very tall tail.
April 28th 2022
Tall Tales 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Jeff Kyser |
It's a cute and funny little tale
Or on the other hand
An amazing con
To fool little girls into thinking
That their lifelong fantasies
and silly dreams
That their mothers fix in their heads
(I guess)
when they say:
'One day you'll meet your Prince charming
A nice, wonderful man
Who'll love you for who you are!'
Ha.
So they wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Till they realize that they are nearing
Their expiration date.
so they take whatever they can get
And end up with some loser
and count themselves winner's
They score the man of the century
Their very own Prince Charming
and i say
If that's a fairytale
Give me a tragedy.
i am smart
I know not to wait
On things that couldn't possibly exist
In any world outside a book
Prince charming?
Ha.
Dedicated to My Father with Endless Love
My child’s serious eyes targeted me as his prize.
I could see pondering and wondering forming words
for my small child’s mumbling.
“Mommy, Daddy says you’re short”, he spoke.
“People come in all sizes.”
“Will I come in short?” he questioned.
“Would you care?”
“Don’t think so,” he shared.
“Good, since I’m only a short woman because I was born a
short man. When a young man, I despised being short. I
was a shy sort, wanting a growth spurt that never came.
One day, when alone and apart, I sat with my hurt on
isolated railroad tracks. Deep in day dreams, wiggling
my toes in pebbly dirt, I nearly missed the train’s loud
arrival which risked my survival. Suddenly upon me, the
train was deafening and looming, so my feet took to zooming.
I barely missed fatal harm, but that train did batter my left
arm. My elbow was pointed up towards my face, looking
angry and gangly. I don’t know why, I may never know, but
I kissed that torn elbow and instantly changed into a girl who
didn’t care to grow.”
“Did your Mommy buy you new clothes?”
A long time ago in a very distant past
A tall tale my remembering mind yet holds fast,
An intriguing story and it'll be a blast
Indeed, it’s a surprise that it should this long last.
Promise, I will begin right after the breakfast
And I say, I’ll get it off my chest at long last,
Tighten your belts and grab your seats, the die is cast
to experience ride on a magical craft,
Oh, yeah! Very much like Aladdin's flying mat
that will leave you all, ha, shuddering and aghast!
But let's go at an easy pace and not jet fast
So stay put, I'll be back after a light repast.
~12 by 12 Monorhyme contest by John Hamilton
A Tall Tale
Dragons fly on by
Through the rye
Through the sky
So, so, so high
On top, a guy
Loosen the tie
It is my, he must die
A tale, a lie
A sigh,
My, oh my