The Biggest Catch You'Ve Ever Seen
In the small fishing town of Tunafishlips
The competitors lined up all of their ships
The race for the biggest catch had begun
As they listened to how the last winner had won
With all eyes upon him, he began his tale…
“It was thiiiis big”, he announced with such pride
His arms stretching out impossibly wide
“I was first out of the dock and I threw out my line
The water was calm and the weather was fine
I felt the first tug of the catch like the wind in a sail”
His arm span grew wider, the length of a car
“Imagine reeling that in! I ain’t spinnin’ no yarn!
More giant than the biggest angler you’ve seen,
Barely got er’ in the boat, and I ain’t no string bean!”
He told us it nearly pulled him over the rail!
Now his arms were extended the size of a barge
As he thought of how to explain just how large,
This humongous, cold blooded monstrosity was
“So big you could drive a van through her jaws,
Swear on my life, Bigger than a whale!”
“I know you’re all skeptics but make no mistake”,
He stretched his arms longer to either side of the lake
“She was at least this enormous”, he started to shout
“I bet equal to the weight of one million trout!
I couldn’t say for sure, she broke the scale!”
Really riled up now, his arms wrapping the earth
“And she wasn’t just long boys, oh no, the girth!
Thick as a planet and as long as three more,
More angry than my wife when there’s socks on the floor!
But there wasn’t a moment I thought I would fail”
The competitors sat there with open jaw
Some in disbelief, some in great awe
Still wanting to prove to those who would scoff
He stretched his hands out so wide, both arms fell right off!
You wouldn’t believe it! Both loose arms a flail!
They fell into the water, and started to sink
But the damndest thing happened, quicker than a blink
The biggest fish I’ve seen with my own eyes
Swallowed em' whole and swam away in great size,
That’s the last we ever saw, of that very tall tail.
April 28th 2022
Tall Tales 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Jeff Kyser |
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