Cucumber Philosophy

CUCUMBER PHILOSOPHY Don’t smile, frown or in any way express emotion Just gotta lie here and keep straight, green, stiff and shiny Soldier cucumber on parade, dressed left with all my buddies On display, under inspection Civilians admire - some even touch. Pretty women hold us up for their girlfriends And make smutty jokes and comparisons about men Or they squeeze us, pretending to think cucumber thoughts. We stay at attention, reliably enduring surrogacy. Wimpy men pick us up carelessly and toss us Into the shopping trolley with their asparagus and dill Children grab us for use as swords or clubs in their games Then we get bruised and end up in the reject pile out in the trash No way for a soldier to go Good cucumbers die young Our ideal end is like the samurai with a sharp blade In a swift cut across the middle Feel nothing, know nothing And then be of service in a salad. I don’t know but I’ve been told . . . . . . . No cucumber wants to end up just old