Best Rednecks Poems
You, poet, poetess...
ARE THE EYES OF THE WORLD!
Now that I've got your attention... let's sail to avenues where few too many
cooks infuse attitutudes, burn britches in the kitchen.
Let us wave banners and quake fault lines of the masses, generate public
interest bigger than entering contests, so the future wins as we arrest eye
sights of their asses.
We've got something special in here; everyone sharing and caring and staring
at screens like queens stare in the mirror. Hey, I've got an idea dear, rather
it's more like a scattered ideal, real rednecks call "Idears, ya' hear!"
So put down yir' sweet tea, turn off Duck Dynasty and come fly with me.
We've got a whole generation of people sleeping through myriads of poetic
songs. I contest we kick 'em in the ass with something true, something
strong.
We've got a beautiful community begging to be read. But right now, the only
ones reading are those who should be writing instead.
We need to reach out, feed the needy, there's so much to teach. We are at
the beginning of something huge, but I need YOU to see there's a universe to
reach.
Look in the mirror, understand where you stand...
---------------
Note...
This stage could be HUGE!!! Poets are the last line of defense. But, here we
are limiting our song, SARDINES IN THE TIN.
We must think bigger, and
generate vibrations for the whole world to see.
Poetry is so much more than a club.
WE ARE THE EYES OF THE WORLD!
There is no communication more true than this....what we live, what we give,
what we do--- It's up to me and you!
Categories:
rednecks, analogy, appreciation, dedication, deep,
Form:
Free verse
They spied me in the sky, dropping bombs of love
on Ferguson, and bitchy women's rooms; and rednecks'
shooting range was next, the blooded boxing glove.
They spotted me in Tel-aviv and also in Tehran, collecting
Jewish kisses for the Iranian Imam.
They toasted me in the family courts, breaking hearts
I quickly soothed, and at their breakfast;Klu Klux Klan,
I spread their toast with jam.
They gifted me with patted back in Auschwitz and
Guantanamo, compassion was my hand; while Isis
and Seal Team 6, provided me a marching band.
They lauded me with accolades, the bankers and the poor,
while serial killers and the FBI, shot my name into the sky,
like Gotham on the screen.
And now I rest my head this night, beneath the troubled moon,
for tomorrow I go partying, with venerable, Ban-Ki-moon
Categories:
rednecks, humor, peace,
Form:
Free verse
~When retired Redneck take a vacation,
Needs not AARP’s senior discounts,
Motel tarpaulin costs are his passion,
A Redneck needs not large bank cash amounts.
~Give him some worms that squirm and North Fork Creek,
With wilderness trees, he’s very well pleased,
I’m Redneck quite sleek , have my own technique,
Head where wildlife frees, in mountain air breeze.
~My food still on hoof, venison is great,
There’s fish a plenty, may ride my Jenny,
Don’t need a debate, I’ll call my love Kate,
She’ll rough it with me, loves to fish you-see,
~Get Jenny some grain, I’ll clip her long mane,
City dudes are vain, drives Rednecks insane!
For and in Honor of: Carol Brown
And Contest: It’s Time For Vacation
Categories:
rednecks, happinessfish,
Form:
Sonnet
~~Upon the banks of big piney slough,
I recall a picnic with old blue,
and my granddaughter at age two.
and many blood sucking critters too.
~For a very short while we did picnic,
then we would bait our hooks and pick ticks.
while the ants carried our food off in nit picks.
Gets no better than this, can’t beat it with sticks!
~Mosquitoes demanded their rightful share,
for of the blood of we humans they are an heir.
Some dudes have no flair for this type of affair,
after a day or two they would need repair.
~Moms who let babies grow up to be rednecks,
raise children who can fish and pick blood ticks,
and kill big water moccasins with little sticks,
while picking polk salet for supper on picnics.
~Having caught a big flathead cat or two,
I called granddaughter Sue and my dog blue,
for I remember quit clearly when Sue was new,
was the dog days of summer, ninety two!
For and in Honor of: Carol Brown
And Contest: Picnic
Categories:
rednecks, funnydog, dog, granddaughter,
Form:
Monorhyme
Quizmasters often test mentalities,
by asking folks to name pluralities,
of things of many different sorts.
Like, soldiers might be called 'cohorts'.
There are 'flights' of geese and jets and stairs,
my socks are sometimes found in 'pairs'.
A young girl's curls could hang in 'bangs',
and crooks might hang about in 'gangs'.
Such gangs could join to form a 'mafia',
alas that only rhymes with 'raffia'.
Apes, as you'd know, can make a 'shrewdness',
could rednecks joined become a 'rudeness'?
And though Collingwood fans are two a penny,
more than one is just 'Too Bloody Many'.
Unless you have been in the same pub or football ground with Collingwood fans, or on the same train or tram or continent, you will never understand.
Categories:
rednecks, football, humorous,
Form:
Couplet
Donald Trump
is now most concerned he's been had for a chump
don't lead too soon they say
else most of the rednecks are more likely to stay away.
Categories:
rednecks, allusion,
Form:
Clerihew
Rednecks make parts in the basement
They've mastered piston emplacement
They'll bore out a block
To be bigger than stock
Displacement has no replacement
Author's note. A really great guy in the office has a classic '67 Firebird
that will go really fast and has fun taking it to car shows in the area.
This is part of American culture. Yahoooo!
Categories:
rednecks, home, house, humor, identity,
Form:
Limerick
Through the stratosphere
Flying where no one dares
Searching in spite of fear
Wonderful little blue sphere
Creatures strange beings
Atmosphere unclean
So many wondrous things
Collecting images unseen
Moving at sonic speed
Trying to discover needs
A medal for exploring deeds
Fame becomes his greed
Within a flash
He suddenly crashed
Saucer reduce to trash
His head slams into the dash
Billy Bob and Big Bubba saw the flash
Get out of the pickup to look at the crash
Think pictures would get us cash?
Lets burn it up don't want no city trash
This is planet Earth
Burial of Major Dirth
Images for planet Mirth
Never to be unearth
Flames burn high and green
Two rednecks pour on gasoline
Funny and just serene
How Earth remains an alien dream.
Categories:
rednecks, adventure, earth, fun, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Had It
I have a ten foot hole in my floor
Sofa, carpet, hard wood, tile no more
My neighbors both own an AR-15
And I live in between
It might be their Second Amendment right,
But what happens to me when they fight
Into that hole and duck my head
Or surely I will end up dead
When 750 rounds a minute comes from each side
All I can do is lie in my hole and hide
My home is full of holes when they’re done
The politicians say it was just a couple Rednecks having fun
I’m fed up and have had my fill
For it’s with life, limb, or money that pays the bill
Not the White House or the NRA
But me, so Idiots with AR-15s can play
Second Amendment or not
Killing kids needs to stop
2/24/2018
Collaboration with Sonny Roper a retired U.S. Navy military veteran
Categories:
rednecks, grief, life, loss, political,
Form:
Free verse
It was "Girls' Night Out"
At the local watering hole
So my bestie and me
Headed there at a stroll.
A crisp autumn night
And we both wore our furs
I joked she was a copycat
Saying she should change hers.
She stopped in her tracks
Her stare cut like a sword!
"It was only a joke!"
And then we both roared!
We got to the bar
And I held the door wide
Truly never expecting
What was to happen inside.
"We don't serve HER kind"
The barkeep sneered at me
"You can come in
But set that dog of yours free!"
Here I must tell you
I live in a town
With rednecks and pickups
And nothing much brown.
My friend was from Asia
Her coloring too strange
For these bigoted, brainless
Rejects from the grange!
My friend showed her teeth
Not exactly a grin
And one big guy in a wife beater
Stood up and moved in.
Before I could blink
Or throw a good punch
My friend ate that cowboy
Like some tasteless lunch!
And the others raced out
Slipping on fallen beer foam
So I sighed and began calmly
Walking my tiger home.
Categories:
rednecks, fun, pets, racism,
Form:
Rhyme
I went and bought me some rabbits,
And built a rabbit coop.
Like that Cadbury Bunny has,
‘Cept I got me a group!
And they all’s gonna lay some eggs,
With nice milk chocolate shells!
But they won’t be no coco brown,
‘Cause I prefer pastels!
So I’m gonna feed them Fruit Loops,
And that should do the trick!
They’ll be poppin' out rainbow eggs,
I’m thinkin', pretty quick!
Then I’ll get rich like Cadbury,
And buy me a new truck!
Maybe breed all of them rabbits
With cousin Millie’s duck!
People’d sit up and take notice
Of a bunny that quacks!
They’d storm the Piggly Wiggly for
My multi-colored snacks!
We’ll have us a rainbow Easter,
With chocolate eggs and beer!
Drunk rednecks on a sugar rush,
Can really spread some cheer!
Buy some rainbow chocolate duck eggs,
Then turn on your TV!
There’s a new realty show,
Called Rab-uck Dynasty!
I should have thought of it sooner!
My problems are all solved!
Ain't nothing a redneck can’t do,
When there’s a duck involved!
Categories:
rednecks, fun, holiday, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Thair is this girl called : peace , love & pie . Her dad jumps out of aero planes .
Noeboddy noze why ! She wants 2 jump from aero planes too !
But if her parachute doent open, she wood be thrue !
She has a girlfrend called apokkullips ! She duz not cum frum Egypt ,
Or like stepping on the x-men,s space ships ! This girl duzzint have minny cloze !
And she duzzint have any pantyhose ! She just graduated frum hy skool !
But she duzzint have a swimming pool ! She likes jumping rope in a southern park !
Wair rednecks swing flayming mace balls in the dark , and her frends play with
Hoolah hoops , and thay all look like a bunch of goofs !her dad,s job is
Falling frum the sky ! Why thay pay him 4 this . Noe one noze why!...
Categories:
rednecks, america, father daughter, graduate,
Form:
Bio
No one drop
of royal blood
in my genes
funny,isn't it
i know
my grandparents
were farmers
my grand-grands
fishermen
my grand-grand-grands
were just soldiers
fighting for king
and queen
they died
nobody knows when
they died
nobody knows how
the only thing
i know for sure
my parents were
rednecks
which makes me
ultimately
a poor redneck-poet
that all he want
is sing
no one drop of royal blood
no chance to be
a king
and doesn't give a rip
about it!
Categories:
rednecks, funny, parody,
Form:
Free verse
JEALOUS of my poem being featured this week Ms Onclaud? It’s not like you to be so:
Petty,
Nettie
You mind floating me a loan? Rumor has it that you’re richer than J. Paul:
Getty,
Nettie
Ow, that hurt! Look, you left a mark…
Linda with a rather shocking head cold picking contest winners:
Eeedie
PD..
You seem to be rather flighty today dear...You need to keep your feet on solid Terra:
Firma,
Irma!
So you’re gonna slap me TOO? Wait a sec, let me turn the other cheek…Oweee! (sniffle)
Who the heck was that pretty Latino lass that just walked by? Do you think:
That was
SKAT oz?
So how bout a vacation to Australia?…Have you ever seen the opera house in:
Sydney,
Sydney?
You don’t like OPERA?... WELL! I never! (and I probably never will)
Since we’re at the casino, how bout a game of:
Roulette,
Suzette?
Well, we lost our asses but we sure had fun… Any:
Regrets
Suzette?
There there…Let’s go find our asses okay? Next time I think we should take a cab…
I seen
Eileen
At the mall and she walked right past me without speaking!
I mean,
Eileen…
What’s up with THAT?
I appreciate your most kind comments my friend...You are blessed with good:
Karma,
Charma
And thanks for making pancakes for me, but where is the:
Syrup,
Cheer-cup?
I mis-pronounced your last name huh?...Also the word 'sear-ip'...Us rednecks say 'surr-up' which rhymes with 'Chur-cup'...Okay! I'll stop rambling! Stop being such a GROUCH and:
Cheer up,
Cheer-cup!
Categories:
rednecks, funny,
Form:
Footle
Rednecks and roundabouts, they don't mix.
Don't try and fool us with your media tricks.
We drive around the back roads throwing bottles at signs.
Your roundabouts make us slow down or the ladies spill their wine
Categories:
rednecks, car, conflict, drink, funny,
Form:
Free verse