Best Pretty Sure Poems
clouds like sheep
grazing in the blue
scatter on the breeze
How marvelous was the first week of March in my state. The temperatures exceeded my hopeful expectations. If the old proverb is true, perhaps this month will go out with a lion’s roar, for I’m pretty sure it came in with the bleat of a lamb! Daylight Saving time also has arrived along with St. Patrick’s Day and the wearing of the green, and Easter and our Mother’s Day will follow. The day I most look forward to, however, is that day which turns my front yard into a bright fiesta. Right around the end of week one or two of April, my ornamental pear and plum trees always undergo their annual transformation.
pear tree’s white petals
pearlescent in the sun . . .
plum tree’s blush
Yes, each April it never fails to amaze me: nature’s orderly sequence of events which so beautifully welcome spring’s warmth. Birds whose nests are so well-hidden in each tree’s branches will decorate my yard with their flashes of color as they soar to the sky and then flit among the leaves of their new-found home. I enjoy catching glimpses of the swallows’ shiny dark wings and the red of the robin and of the occasional cardinal. Even more special are sudden glimpses of bluebirds and hummingbirds that I rarely get to see! These sightings so excite me!
lion or lamb -
spring turns me into
an April fool
March 21, 2021
for the Springtime Haibun Contest Poetry Contest of M. L. Kiser
Now for Brian Strand's 'ALL YOURS (Apr 12)' Poetry Contest
Nobody knows what goes on behind this hotel door
‘Mr Smith’ isn’t with his wife of that I’m pretty sure!
He’s with his mistress Sue, they are having an affair
But he is a cheating love rat and he doesn’t really care
A barrage of fists is flying at number twenty-two
Sally covers her bruises, what else can she do
Her man is a bully and hits where nobody can see
She’s got no one to turn too otherwise she would flee
Harry is all alone since his dear wife has died
He’s desperately lonely but filled with such pride
His family only live on the other side of the city
But are so busy with their lives, isn’t that a pity
Post builds up in his letter box, there’s milk left at his door
Neighbours think they’ve seen him but they aren’t really sure
The police arrive; break down his door and Harry’s lying dead
He’d fallen down the stairs; dried blood lay round his head
Peter is an alcoholic and he suffers from depression
He has bouts of violence, he’s known for his aggression
Since his wife walked out on him he’s attempted suicide
His life has gone downhill since he lost his lovely bride
Little Sally wants to hide when she sees Phil the baby sitter
He makes her do ‘things’ with him, if she won’t he says he’ll hit her
She’s subjected to sexual abuse that no child should endure
But her parent’s are oblivious when they walk out that door
Nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors
I wonder would you divulge what happens behind yours?
Doors Contest
Sponsored by Richard Lamoureux
03~23~17
With the sun shining on my right side
And the clouds pouring rain on my left
It seemed to me, I didn’t have too far to go
To reach the most brilliant rainbow I had ever seen yet
I ran as fast as my little feet could take me
Before the spectacle could up and disappear
My whole life, I wanted to scale rainbows
I may as well do it right now and here
When I reached the beginning I was almost blinded
The red and orange were hot to my touch
But when I grabbed a hold of the yellow and green
They didn’t hurt so much
I placed one foot on the blue; the other on the indigo
I used the violet underneath me, to point out which way to go
The slope started off steep; it took everything I had to climb
As up and up and up I went, losing all track of time
At the top of the rainbow I could see forever
The earth beneath me and the heavens above
I had never felt this feeling before
I’m pretty sure that they call it “love”
I just sat there in peaceful silence
With the colors wrapped around my limbs
If happiness was a deep blue ocean
I had just jumped in it for a swim
The time had come for me to descend
As the sun was starting to set
I slid down the rainbow like a playground slide
On a ride I will never forget
When I reached the end of the rainbow
I found disappointed people looking for gold
But fortunes aren’t found at the end of the rainbow
It’s in the journey – or so I am told
These were my first five "Monday Monokus":
"Three Monokus walk into a bar" posted 28 Sept 2020
don't challenge Death to a pillow fight or you will face Reaper cushions
"Mr. Descartes, will you join us?" "I think not", he said, and disappeared
the only time that cows will fall asleep is when it's pasture bedtime
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
"Good Moaning to You" posted 5 Oct 2020
Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand: "make me one with everything"
this sign seen at a butcher shop: "our lean beef comes from 2-legged cows"
there are just 2 kinds of people that drive me crazy those that can't count
Attribution: the first of these 3 one-liners was found online and the source is unknown. The other two were (to my knowledge) original to me.
"COVID Crazy" posted 12 Oct 2020
during covid I sit around like a head with its chicken cut off
I'm doing my first marathon this weekend hmm, netflix or hulu?
did you wake up grouchy today or did you allow him to sleep in?
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
"Avian Flew" posted 19 Oct 2020
indiscriminate lovebirds may contract a canarial disease
a few unprotected canaries have been known to contract cherpes
...most get lucky and are greatly relieved to find out it's tweetable
Attribution: I first heard this 3-part joke from my father-in-law many years ago. The source is unknown (I'm pretty sure he didn't make it up...)
"News Flash" posted 26 Oct 2020
"toilet stolen from local precinct police have nothing to go on"
"marijuana bill snuffed out by a Congressional Joint Committee"
the News is where they tell you "Good Evening" then explain why it isn't
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
Baby brother, your naughty smile entices
A chuckle ringing through the night,
While those eyes blue wink like stars
That I'm pretty sure , we are alike...
If Aunt Nora pinches those rosy cheeks
Yes, I'd whack her leg, she'll never know-
For now, you're saying, let's peek-a- boo
As moon face jiggles up and down,
Till Mama yelps, 'No, our babe might toot gas!'
And peachy feet, they would outgrow mine,
Then we’ll ride on airy coastlines
Sharing guy secrets and watching the girls--
Maybe, hug one or two in Dad's bike
That's what your laughter implies...
O you giggle, mouth without teeth yet;
Not to worry, I am sneaking yummy jello...
Eat that quick! It's all over your bald head
We'll make it look like soap bubbles--
As the hero, I'll tell our parents, the milk
Flushed through the crib...You agree, snickering,
Naughty brother, we have more pranks to go!
Baby Face What's You THINKIN Contest
Sponsor: James Edward Lee Sr.
Visual C 1/19/2019
I'm stuck in a puddle of mud,
unable to make a quick decision...
whom should I choose from among
others who have been so noble and kind?
More than a name comes to mind:
Linda, Carrie, Deborah, Catie, Rhoda, Danielle, Charmaine and Karen...
please don't be envious if I choose Carolyn!
You all are beautiful sweethearts, and I wouldn't sell you for a song!
After my day closes in, I check my soup mail...and there they are
those wonderful names flashing on my computer's screen,
and dazzling like precious gems in a crown! Many more should be
mentioned, highly praised and underlined with a marker:
Andrea, Emy, Joyce, Constance, Iolanda, Elaine, Laura and Carol.
One thing I can attest, nobody is greater than the other,
because they all have captured me as I have caught butterflies
with features so distinct and feminine as heroines of modern times!
Carolyn, be dazzled and feel proud, if not hysterically happy;
and if my choosing is fair, why should there be any contention,
or envy among them...I am pretty sure that they have secret admirers,
who in the same manner of awe and respect, constantly worship them!
Cheer up ladies, I have mentioned you all in my praise poem,
but only one gets this special rose...I hope they will send yours today!
I love you all as I love Carolyn for her honesty and graciousness,
then why don't you congratulate her and deepen your admiration?
My praise poem is dedicated to Carolyn Devonshire
living in Florida, USA
Men's minds are devious at the best of times
Also twisting their stories
I should know, I'm one of dem der guys
Pretty sure I'm no different than 98% of my fellow males
It's inbred into our psyche and of this I'm sure
We're really damn proud of it
However I'm a straight shooter
At the expense of my fellow males, I apologize
Hate blowing the whistle on youse guys
But I can't help it... as Georgie once said
"I cannot tell a lie"
Everything and I mean EVERYTHING
That comes out of my mouth
Is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth
So help... Z-Z-Z-A-A-A-A-A-P-!
© Jack Ellison 2014
My father-in-law went through this phase with his Alzheimer's.
We’ve recently noticed that grandpa has made himself a friend,
We’re pretty sure that this one will stay with him until the end.
The new guy has his room right next door to my grandpa’s place,
And every time my gramps stands at the window he can see his face.
It seems that the two of them are as compatible as can be,
And they both decorate the same as near as gramps can see.
Gramps visits with his friend to share iced tea and a smile,
Until they both run out of steam and decide to nap for a while.
They make a pretty good team they’re just like day and night,
The new guy uses his left hand and Gramps prefers his right.
And Grandpa never looks in the window just to stand and stare,
But every time he walks past the thing the other guy is there.
Grandpa says the only thing about this guy that might turn into a curse,
Is that the guy is so good looking and he might steal away the nurse.
The silence that's before us is a patent lie
For when you see behind the mask
There is darkness is those eyes
He says come take the high road
With his gracious and his meek
But down into a tunnel
His image has to sneak
I don't paint a picture
I don't wish him well
I don't tell his women
That he can rot in hell
If he tells a story
Check the words real fine
I heard them once or twice before
And I'm pretty sure they're mine
Well, hi there, striking blue eyed blonde with velvet scarlet lips
twizzling your swizzle stick between your fingertips
I'm pretty sure that you have lured some lookers to your bed
so step outside your comfort zone and have an ugly one instead.
Hows about it?
Where are you going?
No, no, wait.....
For competition 'Flirt', sponsored by Casarah Nance
July 14th 2015
Such a beautiful feeling
I see the sunrise,
and it's no surprise
that,
I see the love light,
that shines in your eyes
I feel like I'm dreaming...
and it's,
such a beautiful feeling!
I greet the new day,
sending kisses your way
so happy just knowing
that you'll always stay
Now,
our sad hearts are healing...
and it's,
such a beautiful feeling!
Chorus
I've never had this feeling before
but it feels so wonderful,
every day I love you,
more and more
and it feels so beautiful!
Now, I see you there,
and I stop and stare
It's a wonder just knowing,
that you really care.
Our shuffled hearts,
we're now dealing...
and it's,
such a beautiful feeling!
You know it's true,
I'm crazy for you,
and I'm pretty sure,
you're feeling it too.
Now,
your love's got me reeling...
and it's,
such a beautiful feeling!
So I wrote down this song,
so glad I belong,
to someone so special,
who won't do me wrong.
Now,
true love is revealing...
and it's,
such a beautiful feeling!
Chorus
I've never had this feeling before
but it feels so wonderful,
every day I love you,
more and more
and it feels so beautiful!
Now, your love's got me reeling
and it's, such a beautiful feeling!
Yes, it's such a beautiful feeling!
Repeat two times
fade to zero
John Derek Hamilton
June 20, 2017
A beautiful day, beautiful is time,
When I have you lay by my side.
A beautiful feel, a beautiful rhyme,
Just to look into your eyes,
And lie by your side.
Never felt so better in life before,
Nothing would feel better than hold you,
In my arms forevermore.
Time and time I felt,
To kneel over and hold your hands.
I don't know what is right and light.
But one thing is sure and very pretty sure,
I will love you all my life.
A~D
I see you,
do you see me?
I hear you,
do you hear me?
I try very hard
to understand,
the confusing touch
of your human hand!
I don’t want to resist,
but sometimes that’s how I feel,
your energy, your presence,
it’s not always the best deal.
There are other days;
it all feels so very pleasant,
in the now, in the moment
and in the present!
Please may I ask,
since it was you that chose me,
to give me more time for stuff,
it works wait and see.
I love to learn new things,
but show me slow and right,
I do not speak your language,
I may fright or flight.
If you can promise this,
other things I can forget,
don’t be hard on me or yourself,
no need to get upset.
We are two different species,
I want to learn and love man,
can you really return the loyalty,
I’m pretty sure you can.
I hear you,
I hope now you hear me!
I see you,
I hope now you see me!
To be honest, I’m not a natural wine drinker.
But for the past while, I’ve been sipping some of hers.
To make her laugh.
I noisily slurp, smacking my lips just for the sheer theatre of it.
She likes a dram of red wine with her evening meal.
A meal that seems to be getting smaller each passing week.
Twenty Bees – that’s her choice of wine.
Red. Never white.
Canadian, I’m pretty sure.
Only twenty bees were harmed in the making of this wine.
That’s not on the label.
I pour from the large bottle into a small crystal tumbler.
Two inches in the bottom - for her.
Another inch on top - for me.
I swirl it around, giving it air.
I think air adds flavor.
But, I don’t know for sure.
I bring it to the dinner table.
Hunched over, she peeks from under a fuzzy fringe of white-gray hair.
‘Your wine,’ I say, holding the tumbler in my hand. ‘Twenty Bees. Your favourite.’
She smiles.
Then, I slurp it. Loudly. Pretending to like it.
Sometimes I get carried away with the slurping. My shirt front blossoms red.
She laughs.
I remember that special laugh, but now a soft giggle’s thrown in.
‘Oh. My. God,’ she says.
It’s her favourite saying these days.
Except for ‘You’re weird,’ which she says quite often.
At least to me.
‘Not too much,’ she says.
‘No worries,’ I say.
I set the tumbler down.
Another smile.
A hand, brown freckles in abundance, eases out, slim fingers surround the glass.
‘Ah,’ she says. ‘You’re weird.’
She sips - like a tiny bird from raindrops puddled within a leaf.
‘Ah,’ she says again.
Thin, pale lips smacking, just like me.
There’s an after-taste that lingers long after dinner.
It isn’t the wine.
It’s the memories of what once was.
Forever lost.
‘You’re weird,’ she whispers.
‘Yes,’ I say. ‘I am.’
She portrays me to be selfish
but I think she's just helpless
and I feel so foolish
for letting her make me feel so selfless
and this insanity will consist until I dismiss and resist
giving into this repetitive mess
And as I proceed
indeed I feel naive
to know I would repeat this same routine
from sixteen to eighteen
but it's such a relief
to be able to release
this disease
that was in my skin
and made me weak at my knees
and I'm pretty sure anyone in their right mind would agree
So now when she tells our story
she forgets to say
all the things she ever did
to make me behave this way
and as she lies awake
shattered by the idea of what we became
what she couldn't contain
yet she's real quick to complain
I can't even begin to explain
why it was so hard to escape
why I always remained
I believed I was addicted to her
like a coke head is addicted to cocaine
Discouraged by the possible pain
but I've learned
pain is the consequence of
happiness
it took longer than it should have to realize
I can't be having this
consistent irrational madness
she's still convinced I planned this
just because I revolted
and flipped the axis on our atlas
dropping acid
just to paint a clearer picture on the canvas