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I Cannot Tell a Lie

Men's minds are devious at the best of times

Also twisting their stories

I should know, I'm one of dem der guys

Pretty sure I'm no different than 98% of my fellow males

It's inbred into our psyche and of this I'm sure

We're really damn proud of it

However I'm a straight shooter

At the expense of my fellow males, I apologize

Hate blowing the whistle on youse guys

But I can't help it... as Georgie once said

"I cannot tell a lie"

Everything and I mean EVERYTHING

That comes out of my mouth

Is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

So help... Z-Z-Z-A-A-A-A-A-P-!



© Jack Ellison 2014

humorousnarrative

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Donna Jones

November 19, 2014 at 1:59 PM

Well well....hello.....and I'll keep this in mind..:-) :-) :-) :-) ....how ya been friend??? I've been unplugged a while...still caring for mother in law and hubby along with everyday life can be more than a day sometimes...hope all is well

Jack Ellison

November 19, 2014 at 2:06 PM

Sorry to have lost touch dear Donna! We're going to fix that sweet lady! It's certainly understandable with caring for mum-in-law and hubby! I wish them both and you better days ahead! Big loving sweet hugs, my dear Donna! XXXX

Carol Eastman

November 8, 2014 at 12:31 PM

Now Jack! Us girls have you guys beat by a mile. Dragon, Grandpa Troll, the Carpenter Trolls, the penguins, the Weird frogs, and the Rapid Response Turtle team all agree. But Armadilly Billy says that guys need to think you can do something better than us gals... so to give you guys a bone... But the only bone I have is a chicken bone from last night... and don't want you thinking I'm insulting you... NO! Dragon! Stop! A petrified dinosaur bone is too heavy for them to catch! Darn That was close!Silly Dragon! Let them get out their catchers mits first! LOL

Jack Ellison

November 8, 2014 at 1:04 PM

How much does a petrified dinosaur bone weigh anyway... I'm pretty strong for my age... especially my breath! XXX

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

November 8, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Humour is alive just coz of u Jack! Confessions r welcome always my friend!

Jack Ellison

November 8, 2014 at 12:26 PM

Thank you again my dear doctor! You are ALWAYS so kind! Hugs, Jack XXX

Rosemond Mensah

November 8, 2014 at 11:07 AM

Men's minds are devious at the best of times Also twisting their stories I should know, I'm one of dem der guys Indeed, I agree with you completely, men are always employing some nice tricks in order to achieve their selfish ambitions. As a matter of fact, I am of no exception just as you are. This is a nice piece with a very appealing theme. great job!

Jack Ellison

November 8, 2014 at 12:24 PM

Well thank you my friend... your comments are very much appreciated! Cheers!

Dorian Petersen Potter

November 8, 2014 at 9:29 AM

This is such a humorous poem as I am safe to tell....hahaha...lol...you're so much fun sometimes my dear friend Jack. Enjoyed the read.:) love and hugs! xxxx D.

Jack Ellison

November 8, 2014 at 9:54 AM

Laughing at life has managed to get me THIS far, my dearest sweet Dorian! So happy it gave you a chuckle, my dear friend! Big loving huggles!!! Jack XXXX

Debra Squyres

November 8, 2014 at 7:30 AM

and now our noses are clogged with smoke from the burning bologna or is it smoldering bull??... lol Fun to read and told so well. Laughed so hard !!!

Jack Ellison

November 8, 2014 at 7:38 AM

"burning bologna or is it smouldering bull"... LOL now you made ME laugh!!! Happy to give you a giggle this sunshiny Saturday morning! (it's actually a cloudy, freezing 39 degrees going up to a balmy 45! YEEHAW!!!) Loving hugs! XXX