Monday Monokus - Oct 2020

These were my first five "Monday Monokus": "Three Monokus walk into a bar" posted 28 Sept 2020 don't challenge Death to a pillow fight or you will face Reaper cushions "Mr. Descartes, will you join us?" "I think not", he said, and disappeared the only time that cows will fall asleep is when it's pasture bedtime Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown "Good Moaning to You" posted 5 Oct 2020 Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand: "make me one with everything" this sign seen at a butcher shop: "our lean beef comes from 2-legged cows" there are just 2 kinds of people that drive me crazy those that can't count Attribution: the first of these 3 one-liners was found online and the source is unknown. The other two were (to my knowledge) original to me. "COVID Crazy" posted 12 Oct 2020 during covid I sit around like a head with its chicken cut off I'm doing my first marathon this weekend hmm, netflix or hulu? did you wake up grouchy today or did you allow him to sleep in? Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown "Avian Flew" posted 19 Oct 2020 indiscriminate lovebirds may contract a canarial disease a few unprotected canaries have been known to contract cherpes ...most get lucky and are greatly relieved to find out it's tweetable Attribution: I first heard this 3-part joke from my father-in-law many years ago. The source is unknown (I'm pretty sure he didn't make it up...) "News Flash" posted 26 Oct 2020 "toilet stolen from local precinct police have nothing to go on" "marijuana bill snuffed out by a Congressional Joint Committee" the News is where they tell you "Good Evening" then explain why it isn't Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown