Best Ouch Poems

My hubby just fell out of bed
He banged his elbow and his head
Now I can hear groaning
Expletives and moaning
I’m certain that he isn’t dead!

Only the...

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A nudist whose first name was Billy
Got stung by a bee on his willy
It swelled to a great size
One he couldn’t disguise
So he hid by...

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Andrea D?...No brainer:
Dandy
Andie

Or in her younger, wilder days she may have been:
Randy
Andie?
(Just kidding! Just kid...Ouch!)

I have no choice but to categorize several poems by my...

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TEDDY AND I 

Teddy is my childhood cuddly toy,
Who brought me a lifetime of joy,
He listened to all my baby cries,
Biding his time to reveal
His...

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"Sexy Who"

*Summer*
sand, oozing through toes
water down my swimsuit piece 
how I love the sun

*Summer*
new sun-rays run my soul
wind swims around my pale skin
sunburn, ouch!

*Dizzy*
strong &...

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     We boarded the Carnival Cruise in Miami with excitement,
our destination was Montego Bay-   with a promise of great...

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Inside the Dishwasher everyone rushed!
Clinks, clanks, rattles, 'Ouches' and ' Ohs'!
"Would you pa--lease, settle down!" said Deb--They hushed.
"Now we can hear...let's just see how this...

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Turkey's on the table, both legs up
Everything was fine, 'til I made the first cut!

The turkey unleashed a "CACKLE!", then jumped onto the floor
All you...

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I
 )   (
  ¤ 
    
   

…shh
   bashit
 cashit
  dishit
 dashit
no tp
 bushit
hushit
 ...

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The weeping willow wept and withered.
Lovers swore their love, carving hearts.
Initials replaced her perfect bark. 
Pains of loves or lost loves embarked.
Each time young lovers...

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My mind has taken off for Neverland,
I am hanging on by a cobweb, 
It is bumping me against Venus
and has dragged me up through a...

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Randomling 1:  Matthew Macfadyen

I believe I'm in love with Matthew Macfadyen
He inspires in me a terribly bad yen
But as poetry goes
His name 'spires woes
Cause...

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M y eyes see what your heart is feeling
Y our feelings you write out as poetry

P ain, love, joy, wonder, inspiration
O nly you can help...

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That mammogram! That mammogram!
I do not like that mammogram!

Would you like it on a couch?
I think that I would still say ouch!
Would you like it...

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Have you ever had one of those days 
On the wrong side of the bed, bad days 
When everything right went wrong 

Cause the ding...

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