Best Ouch Poems

A nudist whose first name was Billy
Got stung by a bee on his willy
It swelled to a great size
One he couldn’t disguise
So he hid by a meadow lily

03~08~17...

Continue reading...

My hubby just fell out of bed
He banged his elbow and his head
Now I can hear groaning
Expletives and moaning
I’m certain that he isn’t dead!

Only the first line is true – last night we watched a programme on how easily people lie but on this occasion...

Continue reading...

Sir Isaac Newton
didn't think gravity was fun,
when at the tree he did slump,
from an apple that caused a lump.




For "You who....Yo, Clerihew" contest sponsored by Catie Lindsey....

Continue reading...

In Sherwood Forest Friar Tuck
Fell down a ditch where he got stuck

Astride a broken branch
And, yes, I have a hunch

He waddles now like Donald Duck!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 	


Contest: Make Me...

Continue reading...

OUCH!

Fists fly
Black eye

08~11~14

Written for WRITE A FOOTLE contest sponsored by Judy Konos

~awarded 1st place~...

Continue reading...

He was playing glorious baseball in the sun!
His family jewels got cup-checked scoring a home-run!
His mother let out a loud yell!
While to his knees, he so painfully, fell.


July 29, 2018
3pm PST
...

Continue reading...

Once, a girl in my tip-top prime was I,
not much sleep needed after a lullaby-
contoured figure with toned legs and buns,
gym at 6am just to show off my guns.
Now morns are as rough as a sty in my eye.

Rising early can be so unbearable, 
but...

Continue reading...

A Little Girl Ouch

We were jumping on the bed real high ~ Laughing, my big sister and I, being together, having fun.  She would sometimes land on her bottom ~ but I was only three and that was too scary to me  ...

Continue reading...

Half-blind Billy hunts for hot chicks
and drools for big tall girls, his picks.
But grabbing a gal—
turns out it was Hal—
got Billy jaw-busting hard licks.


written October 7, 2016...

Continue reading...

Time, night, and sleep, I could not tell,
For down on the bathroom tiles, I fell
I hit my head but not so bad,
My hand, my muse screeched “are you mad, 
What have you done”, confused, in pain
I looked, down at our hand, a monster 
Glared at...

Continue reading...

A man found himself in a pickle
When his girlfriend found he was fickle
He said "won't you stay"
She said "there's no way"
As she took his head off with a sickle.







Josette Key    2010...

Continue reading...

Low battery

In the wee hours of the morn
She was torn between two pillows;
  Pure ecstasy escalates;
 A blinking Indicator become
A disruptive behavior: suddenly
 A dishonorable discharge

 ouch! sorry low battery....

Continue reading...

So I’ve heard that some kids are bullying each other

Over not having really expensive shoes or clothing cover

Wow.

When did we get so shallow?

If you have to mentally scar someone

Shouldn’t it be over something that actually matters?

Religious and political hate crimes

Seem almost justified

By comparison.

9_9

Branding?

Well.

I’m not a...

Continue reading...

Santa went down a chimney in Twin Creeks
Now sadly he can't sit down for two weeks 
Because what he didn't know
Was the embers were aglow
Giving him third degree burns on both cheeks.




 A Fun Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest

Written on 14th November 2022

Sponsored by Tania Kitchin

Syllables...

Continue reading...

What’s painful yet quick to recall?
A man wants to fly but must fall   
Rejection can hurt
Being stomped in the dirt
Is the unkindest cut of them all...

Continue reading...