Best Innuendo Poems

For a man of the cloth, our dear vicar
is not very partial to clothes
He is almost allergic to trousers
and y-fronts get right up his nose.

Ev’ry Sunday as he climbs in the pulpit
(where the choir boys are sitting below)
His meat and two veg are seen swinging
And...

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Line of inquiry:
“as we passed her she did wilt
which caused in us sense of guilt
since our stance perhaps did cause
to put her heart’s joy on pause

though we’re gentle, not hostile
we diminished her soul’s smile
since our aura as she viewed
scent of love did not exude” -...

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Today it’s Pancake Day and there’s to be a pancake race
Entrants are on the starting line with a smile upon their face

Old Ted ‘s ready with his frying pan, he is a fat old josser
but when it comes to pancakes, Ted’s an expert tosser

The gun...

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Line of inquiry:

“as we passed her she did wilt
which caused in us sense of guilt
since our stance perhaps did cause
to put her heart’s joy on pause

though we’re gentle, not hostile
we diminished her soul’s smile
since our aura as she viewed
scent of love did not exude”
 ...

Continue reading...

“as we passed her she did wilt
which caused in us sense of guilt
since our stance perhaps did cause
to put her heart’s joy on pause

though we’re gentle, not hostile
we diminished her soul’s smile
since our aura as she viewed
scent of love did not exude” —Unseeking Seeker

the passersby...

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“as we passed her she did wilt
which caused in us sense of guilt
since our stance perhaps did cause
to put her heart’s joy on pause
 
though we’re gentle, not hostile
we diminished her soul’s smile
since our aura as she viewed
scent of love did not exude” ~ Unseeking Seeker

As...

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the smile:
masking words of anger
from a friend...

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It's Halloween and as we know
It's a special time of year
There's scary things and ghostly beings
Meant to bring out fear

There's lots of innuendos
I hope you do not mind
If I can take the liberty 
As some may not seem kind

They're meant to make you Snickers
And put...

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There once was a man from Tenerife,
    Whose sunbathing was all rather brief.
    But when he started to cough,
    His flimsy fig leaf blew off.
    While the ladies confirmed their belief.

  ...

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I stroked his little ego 'til his head literally exploded.

Inspired by the Seeker's Little Blue Pill

for Silent's funny one liner contest 
10/9/16...

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Innocent innuendo
Illusion turns to reality
Clay oven, fire, heat
The kiss, passion erupts
Standing in the rain, frozen heat
Your body is wet, torrential rains
The kisses become more sensual
The rythym accelerates, faster
Rain dripping down your face
I can taste your essence
I can smell the feminine scent
Your body is wet, I...

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Innuendo .

 

When you want booze

and dance

you get pinches

and leers

left quizzing why

its never

from the one

you want

as requesting 

that must heard

song.

 

When a simple

drink order

you want 

to place

is interrupted

by slurring

voices saying

" hey gorgeous" 

while swaying 

to and fro 

and nearly smashing

into that

pretty face.

 

Innocent victims

who

should think...

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Ecosystems are being strained
We stand alone as the culprit
Every night when I have prayed
I wake up and see they've botched it

In less than a year from now
It will reach the Atlantic
Dolphins, crabs and the sea foul
Will die before we panic

These black tides will devour
Killing pristine...

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I heard of a fella named Roger
Who had the most ginormous todger
Guys envied his dong
(Twas twelve inches long)
Six widows now share Rodger lodger!

These widows don’t charge Roger rent
But night after night Roger’s spent -
This randy young chappy
Sure makes these gals happy
I’m surprised his todger’s not...

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Miss Toe Dipper must have her oats
Especially when on huge cruise boats
She has them each morning
Just as the sun’s dawning
When she’s had her fill how she gloats

When frolicking out on the ocean
They’ll rise up and down with the motion
As he reaches ‘top deck’
There’s love bites...

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