Jan Allison Poet Couplet

Notes About The Poem

The Great British Pancake Day Toss Off - Warning Contains Innuendo

Today it’s Pancake Day and there’s to be a pancake race
Entrants are on the starting line with a smile upon their face

Old Ted ‘s ready with his frying pan, he is a fat old josser
but when it comes to pancakes, Ted’s an expert tosser

The gun goes BANG and off they go, Ted’s busy tossing away
busty Bertha's in the lead, if she wins there’ll be hell to pay!

Ted’s won the race the last five years, he tosses night and day
the trophy’s been on his top shelf, he hopes that’s where it’ll stay

Bertha stumbles, her pancake drops and she begins to cry
Ted sneakily stamps on her pancake; he’s such a crafty guy 

The finishing line is in sight, there’s about fifty yards to go
Ted frantically tosses his pancake; his wrist goes fast not slow

Bill makes a sterling effort and comes at Ted from behind
they toss their pans in unison; Bill's got winning on his in mind

Ted lunges at the white tape, but the result’s declared a draw
Bill suggests they have a ‘toss off’ - there’s not been a draw before 

Both men take a breather, awaiting a fresh pancake to toss
if either of them drops their pancake it will be a great loss

Both men stand on the finish line and flip and toss like mad
neither of them will concede, whoever loses will be quite sad

A crowd gathers, all eager to know who’ll be crowned the winner
suddenly a seagull swoops and grabs Ted’s pancake for its dinner

Ted starts to shout and stamps his feet when it’s announced Bill's won
he takes it all too seriously, but Bill declared the toss off was such fun!

Poem edited - originally posted in 2017

02/16/21

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Jack Horne March 11, 2021 at 12:39 PM LOL, I'm still chuckling - no one does humour better than you. Hope all's good on the IOM xx Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:30 PM thanks Jack, probably over 600 cases now but we are fine so far, lockdown will continue past the initial 21 days:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie February 19, 2021 at 2:49 PM Hello Jan … it’s a pity Benny Hill isn’t around today. He’d be onto this verse in a flash - thanks for the giggle Jan - Lindsay Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:31 PM oh I;d be thrilled if someone took on the poem and made it into a sketch lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Panagiota Romios February 19, 2021 at 7:58 AM Perfect with the cartoon! Hilarious. Pangie Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:32 PM thanks Pangie:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich February 18, 2021 at 1:39 PM Great fun with this one, Jan. What a weird contest. But there are even stranger ones that this in the world!! Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:32 PM Its a tradition lol:-) hugs jan xx

Paulette Calasibetta February 18, 2021 at 10:31 AM How much fun! I can imagine the hooting and cheers, quite an athletic fete, flipping pancakes... put I would ask when's it time to eat? LOL! Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:33 PM thanks Paulette:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger February 17, 2021 at 9:15 PM I love the jazzy end rhymes Jan. So much fun! Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:33 PM thanks Caren:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood February 17, 2021 at 2:57 PM So the moral of the story is, he who wins the toss comes first. Another fine tale from the mucky... oops... murky depths of your mind, Jan. Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:34 PM love the innuendo in your comment - mucky mind me ... now way lol:-) hugs jan xx

Rico Leffanta February 17, 2021 at 11:03 AM You did a great job on this! For next year, add them running in face masks! Aloha! Rico Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:34 PM thanks Rico:-) hugs Jan xx

Janice Canerdy February 17, 2021 at 7:57 AM I'm like Victor; I think the seagull won! LOL! Seriously, Jan, this is an excellent narrative poem with an enthusiastic tone and plot. Janice Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:35 PM thanks Janice:-) hugs Jan xx

Regina Mcintosh February 17, 2021 at 4:27 AM So adorable... love it. God bless you with many more and love and prayers too, Gina Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:35 PM thanks Regina:-) hugs Jan xx

Victor Buhagiar February 16, 2021 at 11:15 PM I think the seagull won. ~~ Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:35 PM you are so right Victor:-) hugs Jan xx

Aurore Severo February 16, 2021 at 11:08 PM hahaha this is so funny I love it, I haven't been in a while, read a few poems that were in fact disgusting and not even poems, glad to see someone with talent and being positive here, much needed xoxoxoxoxo peace and love. Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:36 PM aww thanks so much Aurore, sorry for the late reply, yes there are some unsavoury poems on the site. i just try and make folk smile if I can:-) hugs Jan xx

Harry Horsman February 16, 2021 at 9:23 PM Hilarious poem Jan, the efforts of Bill and Ted, had not gone unnoticed, by the seagull. Excellent read again form you...Harry Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:29 PM thanks Harry i updated the original poem I think this reads much better:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf February 16, 2021 at 5:39 PM You're right about the innuendo, Jan! The seagull -- ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I get it... ~ Corn-fused in Chicago Jan Allison March 11, 2021 at 1:29 PM thanks GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen February 16, 2021 at 5:07 PM - Sounds like a really fun day, Jan ... I've never heard of a "pancake day" ... the contest was a fun thing ... I would definitely lose ... but it would be fun anyway ... ( besides, I was taught by my mother not to play with food :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 5:13 PM good point Anne_lise i don't eat pancakes but make the batter for my hubby, if I tossed them they would end up stuck to the ceiling lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Beryl Edmonds February 16, 2021 at 4:46 PM An hilarious race from start to finish, I guess the seagull was the real winner having scooped Ted’s pancake up for his dinner... Belle Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 5:10 PM thanks Belle:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham February 16, 2021 at 3:15 PM For the first time in years we ditched the pancakes for a takeaway as it was my birthday. Them seagulls are a menace though, poor Ted, tossed to one side lol. Tom Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 5:09 PM I doubt many places were having pancake races this year, glad you enjoyed your day. we had been due to go out with friends for my birthday but in the end we had a takeaway due to lockdown:-) hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer February 16, 2021 at 1:41 PM happy pancake day, jan! your poem is an absolute delight. thank you for a much-needed grin today... Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 3:05 PM Thanks Ilene I updated it a bit from the 2017 poem and thought i would post it today as it's shrove Tuesday and I made batter mixture so hubby could have pancakes:-) hugs jan xx

Judy Ball February 16, 2021 at 1:31 PM It was just meant to be. lol The bird took it because it was time for someone else to have a turn at the trophy. Too cute Jan. God Bless, JB Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 3:04 PM thanks Judy:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile February 16, 2021 at 1:06 PM The graphic is great Jan as is the fun with this one! ai'm going to look up if this a real event!! Happy Tuesday xxoo Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 5:07 PM I've added a video lol xx Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 1:17 PM Shrove Tuesday or Pancake day is real as are pancake races although of course my poem contains a little poetic licence well a lol lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. February 16, 2021 at 1:05 PM Hi Jan, I'm coming back a second time to read this fun and entertaining write. Ted took the event too seriously; It took a seagull to outwit him. Have a great day:-) Alexis Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 1:16 PM Thanks Alexis I had to do a few edits and repost this today as it is pancake day here in the UK:-) hugs jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire February 16, 2021 at 1:04 PM Oh, that naughty seagull! What a fun event this must be to watch, Jan. Wish I could be there. In Florida there is a "mullet-tossing contest" each summer. Mullet are fish. Imagine them flying across the beach. LOL Love this poem and it goes to my faves, Hon. Hugs, Carolyn Jan Allison February 16, 2021 at 1:15 PM that sounds hilarious Carolyn, I wrote this is 2017 but updated it as today is pancake day or shrove Tuesday:-) I made batter for my hubby to cook as I'm not a big pancake fan:-) hugs Jan xx