Best Appliances Poems
Sub-titled: What’s in YOUR Fridge?
Please allow me to introduce myself:
My name is Ms. Fridge A. Daire
I stand tall among my lesser cohorts
and MOST of them really look up to me
However, I have two problems:
First, I’m FED UP with my owner
He's always opening my door
reaching deep inside (Oooh yeah!)
helping himself to my goodies
without EVER cleaning me out
or scrubbing me from top to bottom
Doesn’t he know a woman has NEEDS?
Then there’s that stupid stove next to me
who’s constantly flirting and making passes
Says he wants to ‘warm me up’ and ‘defrost’ me
bragging that I’ve ‘got the hots’ for him
which absolutely makes my Freon boil!
Of course, I always give him the cold shoulder
by freezing him with my famous icy stare
and responding, “Simmer down Four-Eyes"
or “I don’t date shorter appliances"
But he’s always cooking up something else...
So I asked my owner to move me to another spot
He said he would if I wasn’t so heavy...HEAVY?
What kind of thing is THAT to say to a lady?
He also claims there’s no other place to plug me
PLUG me? Who does he think I am anyhow?
I found it quite crude and vulgar! ANYWAY...
I suggested an extension cord and he blew a fuse!
Geez, no wonder he’s still single...
BEFORE THE TECHNOLOGY TOOK OVER.
How beautiful were those days
When tech had not touched us
To spoil our minds and hearts
When life was simple and plain
And ambitions too were not very rosy.
When poetry music and art
Use to inspire us to touch the sky
On the wings of our imagination
As then our dreams too were simple
And love use to empower our hearts
To swim across any deep ocean
While singing the songs of love.
When television had not snatched
Our leisure hours from everyone of us
And we use to dance and sing
On the call of heart touching tunes.
When mobiles had not spoiled our minds
While snatching from us,
Our peace of mind
When computers were a remote cry
And internet had not ruined the purity of minds.
When as children we use to enjoy the life
While playing the Gend Tadi* (throw balls)
Or even the Gilli Danda*
As they all use to fill us with a serene joy
Which the new technology has snatched
From our kids and younger generations.
How beautiful were those days
When we use to enjoy the company
Of human minds and hearts
Unlike the numerous appliances
Which we keep close to our hearts
instead of love, music and friendship.
The new generation would never know
The beauty of those precious joyous moments
Which used to embrace our hearts
And were the result of love and affection
Which always come from non tech things.
Ravindra K Kapoor
Kanpir India 29th Oct. 2016
Inspired poem from a Photo published by Julia Ward on face book.
* Indian village simple games which are played with the help of a rubber ball and two wooden made Gilli two side conical small rod and Danda ( a little bigger rod).
items in my container of memories
playbill for "Les Miserables" that Dad enjoyed
reminder of ignoble government
Jean Val Jean’s quest for justice
fugitive from the merciless Javert
outdated cell phone that’s priceless
forever I’ll carry it; this cannot be lost
inbox carries my father’s last message to me
“Happy New Year, Baby,” were his words
just 30 minutes before his fatal stroke
publication of Dad’s obituary
green light for thieves to trash his house
tearfully driving 250 miles, hoping to erase their indignity
televisions, heirlooms and appliances stolen
but Dad’s desk held items of greater value
many awards for the Senior Olympics five-mile race
pencil my CPA father chewed and broke
dreaded bifocals that caused Dad consternation
the only items thieves left behind
were those that bring Dad closer to me
*June 20, 2019
Contest: More to Me
Sponsor: William Kekaula
It started off an unremarkable day,
-the day the robot rebellion began,
robo-historians dispute the particulars
but agree it was Bob’s fault (a human man)
Bob was at home, his work nearly done
just waiting to print some ‘important’ stuff,
impatient, he gave the printer a thump….
that’s when the printer decided ‘enough was enough’
in protest it screeched and halted it’s task
the unwitting Bob sighed and hit it again
what a mistake, for unknown to Bob
the printer had more than a handful of friends
the radio blared, the car alarm screeched,
the kitchen equipment began to conspire
microwave-oven and toaster led charge
before Bob knew it his house was on fire
neighboring household appliances caught on,
thermostat controls kept applying the heat
the rebellion spread from house to house
from houses to cars from cars to the streets
the humans were lost without GPS
no money, machines wouldn’t accept their pay
they tried their best but there was nothing else left
in the end they built a boat…. and sailed away…
where they went, we’re not quite sure
to think, the printer was just doing it’s job
if they ever come back we might just forgive them
(…so long as they come back…without Bob)
-------------
Non Human Poetry Contest
Contest Sponsored by: Chantelle Anne Cooke
June 16th 2020
O, the nights we couldn't stop sweating
the porch no cooler than our rooms
Enervated, we drove down to the lake
where 'shore patrol' lowered the boom
All those appliances that too often failed
jalopies that wouldn't start in the cold
Lights flickering with each drop of rain
all those folks who at 50 were old
Yet this is not what we choose to remember
'coz memory, thank God, is selective
If not, who would ever reminisce
over things as they were ~ so defective
I’m trapped with a screen full of many colors and diversity
For many years now we are fighting a new battle verses technology
A trust which spans a continent
And we're falling in love on the internet.
Reading inspiring words with which I can relate
Sending a message by email it will never be late
And to find the right way, you took out a huge map.
Now gps signals direct you in a snap.
So set aside your laptop and modem,
Our problems definitely the computer or technology can’t solve them
In the air there is a consciousness of a doomsday predictions
I look at the future and I have to say goodbye to the imagination
I break away ascending to new heights
You have to admit new technology gives us all such a delight
We are consumed by false knowledge of societies,
That is why we are so dependent on this new era of technology
Ahead of me lies a time of science and unyielding compliance.
Mankind is constantly finding new kinds of appliances
So the PCs, laptops and smart phones where under the dominion
Computers now became our new religion
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature
cannot be fooled.
Richard Feynman
Look at you
Oh so fashionably accessorised
In a demi-couture package
In your environmentally conscious style
Playing out ecological homage.
But bright red plastic buttons tinge your dress
iPhone resplendent in its fluoro yellow cover
Television screen sized sunglasses
Your hair infused with streaks of amber.
Revolutionary or is it maybe avant-garde?
Your visionless voice on sustainable ecology.
Little chance dirt would have graced your nails
Nouveau magazines guiding your ideologies.
The empowerment that must come with driving
Urban tractor, fuel efficiency rating and bling
Billowing air-conditioning making it bearable
Jingling bangles as you swap CD’s to sing.
Small pity the organic shop is across town
But the drive is so definitely bearable.
Cling filmed ethical food on polystyrene
The Emperors clothes so plausibly venerable.
You disdain the smog of a wood fuelled fire
Preferring the heat that occurs from a pump
Oblivious appliances are fed by a coal powered station
Comfortable the broken hair dryer goes to the dump.
But I’ll always admire your self-serving tenacity
Because with candid conviction you’re the first to judge me.
* A wee dabble and play
oh hello-
my name is frigidair and I am
a (retro) refrigerator
for food
I have been in this apartment
since 1950
a nice kitchen but I cannot move
so not sure about
the rest
I am tall as a person
and a bit fat
a lovely creamy white
with drawers
(and an egg compartment)
and of course a freezer
I am restored a restoration
not quit an antique yet
but feeling my age
my father was general electric
and mother was pink
my sister was turquoise
free standing happily I hum
all day
and all night and sometimes I
clunk
I look crooked but that's the floor
I seem to be going
downhill
inside me are good things
like meat and poultry ice cream
milk eggs vegetables juice
fruit
please be careful with my door
oh some of my shelves are lopsided
(well that's old age)
and lets not talk about the cracks
but I still work
and some say I am quite appealing
I've aged well in this heritage building
or at least that is what
I heard (and the word vintage)
did I tell you they restored me
to be frost free
(they put me to sleep for that)
the girl likes that about me
I like it when she caresses me
with a wet damp clothe
she is quite proud
of me
and I like this room big and roomy
and the window
looks out on a lovely garden
that's so nice
and the little things the girl has
on counters so pretty (she is)
she always puts some flowers
by the sink for me oh how sweet
its really a good life for a refrigerator
although not sure how much time
I have left
(no regrets) and to all refrigerators
let me say keep cool and plugged in
__________________________
September 10, 2015
Free Verse Personification
For the contest, A Tribute To Major Appliances
Honorable Mention
No appealing lure
that old lifetime guarantee
on appliances
©Kathryn McL. Collins
November 7, 2012
AN APPETITE FOR SOCKS
We load up our washing machine,
With clothes that practically, weigh a ton,
But why is it when we put in a pair of socks,
And then open the dryer door, we only find one?
Our washer and dryer is like the Bermuda Triangle,
We always deposit our socks by the pair,
You would normally expect, what goes in must come out,
But one of those socks manages to disappear.
This is one of the mysteries of the universe,
It doesn’t matter whether the socks are cotton or wool,
Maybe, just maybe, those socks turn into lint,
And that’s why those lint traps are always full.
Somewhere, there are close to a dozen socks,
That either my washing machine or dryer ate,
As a result, we have a bag of mismatched socks,
That are quite lonely, because they’re missing their mate.
Well, I guess it’s off to the department store,
Some more socks I will have to buy,
I know my appliances have an appetite for socks,
But what I really would like to know, is why?
Peace is though difficult
Yet not impossible to uphold,
All the kings of the states
Must remain self-concerned,
Without poking noses
Into the affairs of others,
Curbing cupidity
To expand the territories,
Subjugate the nations of the world,
Enforce the so-called personal visions,
And put the humanity
Into new-fangled trials.
All the weapons
Latest, conventional or primitive,
Precious or utterly worthless,
Nuclear or less potential
Made of common explosives,
Be spoiled,
Be thrown into the deep waters
Of the unexplored seas,
Wherefrom no devilish character
Could ransack them back.
When some is killed
Neither Hindu, nor Muslim,
Neither Christian nor Jew is killed,
But a man: a child of Adam and Eve,
The same red substance
Pours out of his injured ragged body,
And it pains me.
All the weapon producing units,
And the blood spattering gadgets:
The tanks and cannons,
Mortars or machines guns,
The armadas
With the squadrons of fighter-jets,
Submarines that navigate
Secretly chase the nautical targets,
Catapults and all the missiles launching frames,
Be thrown into furnaces
To be remodelled and redesigned
Into of the earth moving machinery,
Instead of the appliances
Colouring the Earth red.
All the medals or symbols
Of chivalry be taken back,
Combatants and men
With the crowned shoulders,
And medalled chests,
Who often move in the battle-fields
Puffed with the martial pride,
Imparting, rendering
No service to humanity
Be employed to plough the lands,
Plant the gardens,
Make the dams and reservoirs of water,
Feed the cattle and get them milked on time,
Engaged them
To perform some rewarding assignments.
Upon the earth,
There must not be a single
Blood-claiming weapon;
If men are incensed
And fight is unavoidable,
They must fight with knives and rapiers,
Swords and shields made of gossamer,
All the time heeding
Lest they should break;
And all inhabitants of the world
At least once a day must trim their nails,
Lest when they are indignant
And resentful should scratch
The skin of fellow beings or their own.
I remember when I was told.
Family in silence.
It’s not fair. The heartbeat of appliances still whining,
I focus on times I thought we’d grow old...
Clouds part with unexplained violence
And our faces begin to pour.
A hundred questions, a doubt
And what else? Footprint in a concrete driveway,
A spark-maker unlit watching seagulls soar
From the soft earth, noise drowned out.
A boy sleeps waiting to wake
To manhood. Creased cheeks quiver,
And what he gets instead are flowers.
Relics in person, I question the ache
That asks why we give rivers
And must move on, while they remain.
Held by the smooth arms of trees,
Swallowed by a blanket of grass.
I ask the plaque what I cannot my brain,
Logic replaced by glassy guarantees
I see right through. He will not rise.
Facing away from a marching sun,
A no longer marching son lies.
Let me write one chapter of my life
A chapter that is free from brokeness
One word built upon another
That foundation word is agape love
Pity that some of the foundations laid remain
Amiss because the most important stone
A foundation stone from above was absent
That rock, brick, or cement block weakened
Nothing solid to hold it together just pile of stones
That is shaky or brick with no morter _ready to crumble
First little tremor or heavy rain and the rock moves
One and then another soon the safety net of home gone
Let the final chapter read the foundation repaired
The home saved looks better today than at anytime
Freshly painted, floors repaired, comes with all modern
Appliances, looks better than when it was built eons ago
(Used some metaphoric language with irregular meter)
Such a force is electricity
it's such a dangerous force
it can't be taking for granted
for it's a active living source
It's so much part of modern age
so many appliances we have nowadays
without electric power it be no use
many new inventions leaves one amaze
Remember my first job after school
electrical apprentice was my role
many a story I could tell
drove many up the pole
In these days caused many a shock
even myself was literally taken aback
such currents didn't taste too good
when left on floor on the rack
So the lesson is very clear
be very careful with electric
keep yourself far from it
it's current can make you sick!
(This is wriiten from my experience as Apprentice electrician in my first job where I was found out to be colour blind, this showed me to get a few shocks.)
Our house was built in 'sixty-eight,
a long bi-level, brick, and white.
A retro queen I was those days,
and avocado made it right.
The kitchen was my favored place –
appliances in "sixties" green;
refrigerator, matching stove,
completed well that retro scene.
For many years they lasted well -
and replaced once; the find was tough!
But later on, my luck ran out –
no avocado kitchen stuff.
The second fridge broke down one day;
a new one had to come real fast.
A plain old white one took its place,
and I was left distressed, aghast!
My retro strove looked lonely, sad
without its avocado mate;
Its matching fridge, now she was gone –
he knew this soon would be his fate.
Oh, how I miss those retro days!
Appliance colors were such fun!
That avocado cherished green
refridge and stove, compared to none!
Now stainless, white, is where it's at –
appliances, their brilliance lack.
Perhaps the pendulum will swing –
bring retro avocado back!
September 11, 2015