Best All Hell Broke Loose Poems
Oh I thank heavens they're all gone now
My perfect holiday dinner, yet somehow
I managed to shut my mouth ever tight
When all hell broke loose Christmas night!
"This turkey is tough," I heard them all say
It's important I smile in a ladylike way
"Oh and did you hear that our Laura is gay
and Bonnie announced she's pregnant today!"
"Bill's running around on wife number three
he marries for money but none does he see!"
The kids they keep tossing their toys at the door
and their mother just sits, pretends to ignore.
Like I said they're all gone and I'm grateful indeed
Should you choose to host Christmas beware take heed
You'll not be appreciated not even an ounce
and all the freeloaders upon you will pounce...
But this is my last holiday greeting to host
Of this I am sure and most anxious to boast...
NOW STOP! Who is that? knocking on my door?
No you can't come in! You're placed on ignore!
open up let us in.....
you must be crazy...
get thehelloutta here.....
6/19/15
Poet: Ken Jordan
Poem: Confederate Flag
Edited by: Sparkle Jordan
written: July/2015
O'Dirty South,.....U'Dirty South
your hatred, and storied history - is sadly
legendary-
Antebellum South, Your staunch
racist beliefs was in place, long before
the honourable General Robert E. Lee,
raised the Confederate Flag, in the battle
between the States -
Since the Civil War, your, "Stars and Bars,"
has flown over the worst of times
In America -
As recent a time, in Georgia,
North Carolina, and South Carolina,
where seven black churches burned down
to the ground -
Nine worshiper's were killed in
South Carolina, and the Confederate flag
was flown -
The White House, is looking into the
"on-going," black church burning epidemic.
Meanwhile, the deep, and deadly wounds
of my people, stains the Confederate flag-
My ancestors blood, is the RED
that covers the dirty "Symbol Of Southern
Pride."
Yet, to this day, it still fly's over most
State buildings, and in offices, in the Dirty South -
It have flown:
Over slaves on Southern
plantations -
It have flown:
Over
the lynching of blacks -
It have flown:
Over
the burning of black
body's;
cremated in public squares -
It have flown:
In restaurants, rest rooms,
and public water fountains-
It was flown
by an Ally of confederate's, who was willing to die in defence of Slavery's abolishment -
When the South seceded from the Union, all HELL broke loose, and the Confederate Flag, was born -
It
was the
Symbol
of
Treason -
and
A "Battle Flag"
for
Hate crimes
against
black people -
That flag, still fly's high today; through the
smoke, and ashes of black churches, burning down
all over the South - past and present.
Even now, The KKK, Ayran Faction, and
skinheads, all raise the confederate flag,
to honour White Power, and White Supremacy -
America, its been one hundred, and fifty five
years since the Civil War - it's way past time to put
an end to bigotry and racism.
Let your voice's be heard, the Confederate Flag,
should never be raised again, not now, not ever -
God asked Noah to build an ark
he was happy to oblige
but he wasn't so keen
when he found out
what had to go inside
Two of every animal
then you must set sail
the animals were fearful
the whale began to wail
Even the Gnu knew
this idea would surely falter
but every beast preferred this idea
than being led by nose to slaughter
Noah followed the order
from gnat to lion to horse
this was a recipe for Pandamonium
but Noah knew this of course
Seating plans were issued
but an almighty row took place
The lion the king of the jungle
argued that he was a special case
The Queen Bee wanted second billing
while the Emperor penguin demanded a throne
while the homing pigeon panicked
at not being able to find his way home
Nightime was the worst
sleep was beyond them all
with the woodpecker continually pecking
and the gloworm lighting up the hall
The doves tried to keep the peace
as all hell broke loose
while bets were taken on who had the longest face
the horse, anteater or moose
The pandas tried to be romantic
sleep deprivation made their eyes go black
the magpies kept stealing the others duvets
and the squirrels were nuts to turn back
The elephants said they'd never forget
and they wished they packed more in their trunk
while the terrible smell that stunk out the place
was eventually blamed on the skunk
The bears awoke with sore heads
they had drunk all their supplies in one night
while the hyenas found it hilarious
at their next door neighbours plight
The crows shouted blue murder
but the bats were blind to it all
the ravens were ignored by the masses
as all they said was 'never more'
The maggots agreed it was just rotten luck
to be stuck in this mobile zoo
and every time the peacock showed his feathers
it made the pigeones coo
The badgers were set in their ways
the sheep said their wool was a curse
while the spiders got a verbal warning
for using a sows ear to weave up a purse
Finally they found dry land
the hare raced out in the lead
while the tortoise said there was more to life
than doing everything at top speed
Noah was happy that the journey had ended
and this was the end of the road
but at least one species had enjoyed the trip
the rabbit population had increased ten fold!
We went to Las Vegas for the very first time,
My husband, father in law, and I all partners in crime.
Each of us brought $500 to spend.
We hoped it would last through the week's end.
I was itching to try my hand at slots,
While they hit the tables like a couple of hot shots.
My plan was to keep any winnings I won,
And if I lost, I would be done.
We had a grand old time for that week,
Hoping we would hit a lucky streak.
We went to Hoover Dam, casinos, and shows.
Sin City was an exciting place that never closed.
So far my luck on the slots was pretty good,
But nothing earth-shattering like I thought it would.
Not feeling well, one day I stayed behind in our suite,
While they went to a Holyfield fight, a real treat.
Later I decided to go downstairs to get a snack,
And saw a slot machine calling me, “Please come back.”
So I sat down at this double diamond slot to play,
When all hell broke loose, with money hitting the tray.
I had hit the lucky seven double diamonds.
With only two coins, it was auspicious timing.
My eyes were as big as saucers in shock.
My heart was beating loudly, as people gathered to gawk.
The ringing was deafening in my ears,
As I waited for the management to pay me amidst cheers.
My jackpot was $3200 after Uncle Sam’s portion.
I headed back to my room after the stupendous commotion.
I spread the hundred dollar bills all over the bed in anticipation
To see my family’s reaction upon return, and their exclamation.
When Dave and Frank walked into the room, they stopped in flabbergast.
The sight of the money on the bed almost gave them a heart attack.
It was as much fun seeing their shocked expressions,
As it was hitting the lucky sevens in succession.
“I thought you were sick,” my husband said in shock.
I replied, ”Well I had to get something to eat, and I played a slot.”
The rest of the trip I still won a few more bucks.
Even at the airport I won $200 with unexplainable luck.
Dave and Frank played hard, but were going home bust.
But I was going home a winner, which satisfied my wanderlust!
Some years back we launched a war, (WMDs) our aim
obliterated half a Country, dictator to blame
Years went by no end in sight, the battle raging on
the only one that gained a thing, capturing Sadam
4,000 plus, our bravest troops, came home as heroes gone
can't leave them unprotected, the fight continued on
Then not too many years ago, (seven comes to mind)
a new direction not well received, pull them all out blind
Let them all fend for themselves, and shrink our mighty force
sit back and watch how evil grows, just shake your head of course
New names added every year, terrorists growing strong
don't worry they're just "J V teams", they won't last very long
City after city fell, like cancer in the sands
our finest Military Leaders, relieved of their Commands
It's his way or the highway, no compromise to date
Countries now in shattered ruins, the people see their fate
We fought a battle , a just cause, not true the record shows
careful not to pick a fight, don't step on any toes
Remembering our alliances, tolerate, let them be
helped to keep the rest in check, Middle East to Tripoli
Terror spread like wind storms, throughout the middle east
those "J V" Teams have now become, "the belly of the Beast"
He picked the wrong side to destroy, and side with Arab Spring
all hell broke loose in Libya, Obama felt the sting
The Americans we lost that day, Ambassador and Team
up and coming Election sights, can't spoil Obamas dream
Secretary of State may help, ignore their pleas for aid
bury reasons they were there, as militants parade
Not the only tragedy, his Legacy will hold
never were transparencies, we see the truth unfold
Working on new History Books, keep them "tarnish free"
lot of "Firsts come with his name", and most we'll never see.....
In The Garden of Evil
(Apropos the New World Creation)
See-sawing along
the shores of life,
gazing upon
the reflecting light,
we grasped
keloids of memories—running.
And like fishermen of food,
we webbed together
the broken pieces of history
and casted our nets into the sea:
into the sea of perseverance—
Catching hope; harnessing redemption.
Running.
The word remains
mightier than the sword;
spiriting into being
in the space that gave birth
to time; manifesting circadian
rhythms of life.
Man, cocooned
in the Garden,
sought light;
the serpent showed
a flash—a streak of power:
in the image of,
became insufficient. Then a Pompeii
spark and all hell broke loose. But
ashes have a kind of Phoenix entity
that teases with spiraling smoke
of resurrection. Old seeds germinate
and grow new beginnings.
Out of the chaos of the inequality
of serfdom and royalty,
ships sailed upon the wrinkles
of ocean waves—ironing
creases to Middle Passage overtures
of an American symphony
that would scar the history
of so-called civilized humanity.
Neither new nor strange,
but peculiar became the systematic
dawning of a creation
that only man could bring
into being and sustain with evil
mythological justifications
of suffering’s redemptive nature.
America the beautiful: new
Adams and new Eves;
New World beginnings—
snakes slithering in the grass.
llllllllllllllllll
Uncle Peacock was a cock of the walk
Chucked his job to camp in a bivouac
He met Charles Lee Ray
Who sprayed pepper spray
All hell broke loose, Cock, a real out of whack
000000000
programmed my 3d printer to build a cosmos ~ then all hell broke loose
by David Kavanagh
Centuries of creations,
a bravura of celestial fireworks,
masterstrokes exploited,
tides of events vying between
gelid cold or searing hot.
Mountains grew, valleys sunk
oceans divided and storms struck.
Dust, sand, dunes, soil, decomposition.
Then came life!
All was controlled and peaceful,
for God created all things good.
Alas, it was the calm before the storm,
for after man was born
all hell broke loose
And deadly fireworks never ceased.
Congressman and senators forewent
all manner of civility, fidelity and integrity wii
hull ding broadswords, derringers
and firearms as all hell broke loose as testimony
to the dire prognostication foretold
more than saber rattling and Gatling guns que
kind from lambastes, fisticuffs
and brickbats ratcheted up as agents provocateurs nee
said obedience to semper fidelis credo, coda and cock knee
stance when dire straits called for restraint
against excess versus raising cane old hickory
i.e. Andrew Jackson latched onto when opposing with energy
and verve espoused by fellow delegates, and his hologram ghost bloody
from battle scars outside and/or inside
the halls of government where blows bashed
dovetailed elected legislators to officiate
as angry birds viz brouhaha clashed
Federalist against their nemesis
of the twenty first century
during the term of Donald Trump
who throve on the cutthroat frenzied
internecine lawlessness dashed
to and fro, hither and yon any hope for civilians to escape bloodshed
spilled from without vaunted halls of justice,
the approach of doomsday
writ large as anarchy and mayhem flashed
with uproarious coup d’etat,
when Democrats outliers gnashed
teeth, and nonestablishmentarian outlaws
pistol whipped and hashed
tagged traitors who roared America
went bankrupt at sold at fire sale price slashed
when Donald Trump ran the country
into the ground evidenced by Molotov Cocktails residue
in concert with the sulfuric odor of hand grenades trashed
Jack and Jill went up the hill
This was never in dispute
It was how Jack fell down
With severe lacerations to his crown
That the jury had to conclude
Jill had a bun in the oven
The news was all over town
The bakers' wife was aghast
Her husband and his shady past
He liked a cream tart
Though, when cautioned down the red-light district
Cream was never mentioned in the Constables statement
Back to that ill-fated day on the hill
Jill says Jack was going down, on her
He was certainly on the edge
A couple walking their dog, state the baker was on the ledge
This was later dismissed when the couple admitted they didn’t have a dog
This was light relief for the jury in this sorry affair
Mrs Black didn’t turn up to church on Sunday
The stand in vicar didn’t know this, being new
All hell broke loose as the witness swore
Jill gave birth on the floor
A black child appeared
There was uproar
The baker shouted to his wife, with a frown
Three women stood up
So he sat down
They all turned to the bench
The Judge was holding his gavel
Somewhat in despair
DNA later found traces of poor Jacks hair
The Judge was taken down, mumbling
She said she was on the pill, Jill
That was the end of this sorry tale
Though the papers ran amok
Mondays headline read
Jack and Jill went up the hill, with the folks of Trill for an orgy and thrill
But things got out of hand
The Judge saw red, and whacked Jack dead
And they all came tumbling after.
Years ago when the kids were young
A plan of action in my mind began
They ran around playing children's games
Peace of mine was never the same
When the boys dressed up they looked real cute
Fighting baddies they were in hot pursuit
Many months I put up with this
The noise, the screaming, tearing at my bliss
Then came the day all hell broke loose
No more their father could be a woose
Leonardo, Michelangelo were the first to be shelled
Raphael and Donatello were next to be felled
Once simmered with herbs and beautiful leek hoops
Teenage Ninjas, turned into Turtle Soup
Many hours of quietness in tranquillity followed
Whilst bowls of Manhattan Soup were delightfully swallowed
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-2.php
It was, I really must admit, with quite some trepidation
I braced myself and stepped up to the vacant self-serve station.
Placed my bag in readiness to save having to lift it
but a female robot voice boomed out and made me go and shift it.
After that it beeped and flashed as everything got scanned,
all items being packed away exactly as I'd planned.
Until I moved my shopping bag for another I'd be using
then 'Red Alert!' all hell broke loose,
the staff all stared, accusing.
Enough's enough- abandon ship, why let this thing unnerve me?
I'm off to find a corner shop, and let a human serve me.
Congressman and senators forewent
all manner of civility, fidelity and integrity wii
hull ding broadswords, derringers
and exhibiting the right to bare firearms
as all hell broke loose as testimony
to the dire prognostication foretold
more than saber rattling and Gatling guns que
kind from lambastes, fisticuffs
and brickbats ratcheted up as agents provocateurs nee
said obedience to semper fidelis credo, coda and cock knee
stance when dire straits called for restraint
against excess versus raising cane old hickory
i.e. Andrew Jackson latched onto when opposing with energy
plus verve espoused by fellow delegates,
and his hologram ghost bloody
from battle scars outside and/or inside
the halls of government where blows bashed
dovetailed elected legislators to officiate
as angry birds viz brouhaha clashed
Federalist against their nemesis
of the twenty first century
during the term of Donald Trump
who throve on the cutthroat frenzied
internecine lawlessness dashed
to and fro, hither and yon
any hopelessness for civilians to escape bloodshed
spilled from without vaunted halls of justice,
the approach of doomsday
writ large as anarchy and mayhem flashed
with uproarious coup d’etat,
dreary evening falls on the block
where the careworn gal lies on her couch
in front of a blinking screen she's bored
when a shadow quickly flies outside
first she thought it's nothing special
her eyes so tired, not interested
but second shadow missed the window
and Laura stood in the room in fuss
neighbourhood was quiet and bleak
wind in the streets once strong once weak
when again, right past her window
a shadow of a man flew down
all of a sudden, all hell broke loose
men and women, boys and girls
writhing and kicking through the air
just a few seconds, down to the ground
frail and confused she opened the window
bodies still hitting the dead lawn below
crawled on the windowsill, for a better look
she lost her balance - quick joined the show