Balled of Carolyn Bointon

It was, I really must admit, with quite some trepidation I braced myself and stepped up to the vacant self-serve station. Placed my bag in readiness to save having to lift it but a female robot voice boomed out and made me go and shift it. After that it beeped and flashed as everything got scanned, all items being packed away exactly as I'd planned. Until I moved my shopping bag for another I'd be using then 'Red Alert!' all hell broke loose, the staff all stared, accusing. Enough's enough- abandon ship, why let this thing unnerve me? I'm off to find a corner shop, and let a human serve me.