Balls Poems

Trews

When the wind chimes high
when the wind chimes low
through the links
in his kilt he'll go
all the lassies say hello
Donald where's your troosers?
A slimy heel slippery eel
tho' no feared he'd take the fall(s)
he lost his breeks on the course
where caddies dropped (all) his ball(s)

With apologies to Andy Stewart (1933 – 1993)

Bacon Balls - risque

When I was only ten years old, I yelled at my TV
For I could not believe the filth they played to kids like me
Right there upon my TV screen, a frog with skin of green
Was lusted after by a pig whose plans were quite obscene

That frog would always act like he was playing hard to

Yesterdays

The shuttlecock's not got a feather
my balls have lost their tether
yo-yo and hula hoop have gone for a loop
chasing rainbow's become a boring chore
in any kind of weather
and me I fling and fly frisbees no more
as now there's come the day
when games and music I can't play
the fiddle has a broken bow
out of wind such

Balls

When first I went ten-pin bowling
was in a league of my own
tho' hot to trot my score was shot
splits and gutterballs set the tone
my opponent bowled professionally
outclassed before I'd begun
she demonstrated then remonstrated
“It's not 'only a game' to some!”
tho' bet my set I'd met my match
when playing each frame for a round
looked like I'm paying

Anyone For Tennis?

I do enjoy verbal tennis
wordplay may be a game
outwit outsmart the opponent
is the only aim
lobbing phrases across the net
volley and rally back and forth
no one's a loser and yet
those precious few
who think on their feet
will always win have you beat
Shakespeare is the all-time champ
merely a player with poem and sonnet
through thick and thin he'd go

Pickle Balls and Paddle Bells

  ~ to the tune of 'Jingle Bells,' please ~

     
   Tushies slide, what a ride
     slipping on the ice
   All we need’s a beaming bride
    and a few bouquets of rice

   Where’s the groom, in his

Laura Norder 2 - New Balls Please

Laura Norder took her gun and strapped it to her thigh
The skirt she wore was so damned short she had to strap it high
And stood there on the corner where the street lamps dare not tread
She waited for the man who had perversion in his head

Sirens in the distance wouldn’t come to watch her back
A

Coughing Up Fur Balls

On Tuesday night I had to stay up late

I needed to see who'd win the debate

But I don't want to talk about that 

I just want to know who ate my cat

balls of lightning

balls of lightning 
scrape the darkness
off my bedroom window
desert hills illuminated
thundering growls 
of a grumpy giant 
rumble through the night
while my pillow squishes
against my chest
like you
loud huffs and puffs
scatter twigs, leaves and dust
across the concrete
sky's all swollen up
and the earth pants
in anticipation
bucking
to meet the clouds
ravished trees rustle
thirsty for so long
dry blades of grass 
stand so

Hitting Balls With Sticks - Golf

I like to write a verse or two, I do it all the time
Oftentimes it’s limericks, and sometimes perfect rhyme
But this is not my hobby, it’s just something that I do
I have a hobby and I write, but can’t combine the two 

Hitting balls with sticks is what I do to get my fix
I aim

My Balls

My balls, bouncing on the concrete.
So bouncy they are.
I go to kick them and they travel, so far.
But then they pop, I start to cry.
Now all I want to do is go and die.

mandrake was not allowed to have fuzzy balls

Mandrake’s sisters had fuzzy balls
Green fuzzy balls on their roller skates
Red fuzzy balls on their ice skates
Purple and pink fuzzy balls on their backpacks

You cannot have fuzzy balls they told him
You are a boy
It would be silly for a boy to have fuzzy balls
So he grew up and made himself a fuzzy ball chair
He also

Balls

In quilting class, we’re making balls;
We cut and sew and stuff
And stitch and stuff some more until
The ball is firm enough.

The pieces start as pentagons
In fabrics that we choose,
So all the projects look unique
When we are sharing views.

I’ve made one for each grandchild,
For these quilted balls are fun,
Which I proudly showed my husband
Just as soon

Moon Balls

What do you call them? I asked taking a peek.
They each had an expression, and they were sleek.
Bouncing at least six times for every throw down.
These moon balls with smiles took away my frown.

Who shall I give them too? I asked the joyful man.
Give them to the children, and you may call me Stan.
I passed

My Balls

My balls smell like a crisp morning in the alpine suck them and you'll feel fine perhaps enjoying it more after we have a bottle of wine and dine
They're smooth as eggs and they shine just made that way by god's design
Once they're whipped out it's impossible to decline you'll be drooling at the mouth

• Short Balls Poems
• Famous Balls Poems
• Best Balls Poems
• Read Balls Poems
• Long Balls Poems
• Balls Quotes