Best Balls Poems
to tell you the truth
I would need balls to tell you
women die for less
18.08.06
Composed for Line Gauthier's
"I WISH I HAD THE BALLS TO TELL THEM HOW I REALLY FELT" Poetry Contest
I wish I had the balls to tell them how I really felt
Hey, wait a minute...I do, I'm a man, it's what I've been dealt
So I'll tell all of you poets... and poetesses too
Something I've been wanting to tell... all of you
I can't name you all... but I will try my best
So to the one's that I mention... will you please tell the rest
To Line and Susan and Harry and Eve
To Demetrios and Victor, and to Robert and Steve
To Brandy and Andrea and to Winged warrior and Lyric man
To Broken and Sunshine and to Arturo and Jan
To Bob and to Richard to Charlie and Joe
To Faraz and to Vijay and to Darlene and to Mo
To Curtis and Barry To Greg and to Mick
To Lindsay and Lindsey and to Dixie and Rick
To Teppo and Gershon and to Tom and Pandita
To Robert and Roy and to Cheryl and Anita
To Nette and Sandra and to Connie and Kim
To Wayne and to William and to Timothy and to Tim
To Carol and Carole and to Caren and to Karin
To Dave and to David and to Barry and to Darren
To Freddie and John and to Heidi and Tania
To Artsie and Jack and to Viv and Maria
So since I have the balls to tell you all how I felt
And because I have the balls in which I've been dealt
I'll tell you all just what it is.... about you I hate
Well, hey there is nothing...because I think... you're all great!
I wish I had the Balls To Tell You How I Really Felt Contest
Sponsored By Line Gauthier
8/12/2018
-Sing along to Jingle Bells-
Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!
Heeeeeyyyy!
Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!
Drinking Michelobe... Sipping on some Jack...
We just made two cups... Give us the balls back!
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Guys can finger cups... Girls know they can blow...
I'm hall of fame, In this game, cause I drink like a pro
OOOOhh!
Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!
Heeeeeyyyy!
Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!
A day or two ago... Drinking Miller Light...
I had won eight games, and then got in a fight...
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
We ran out of beer... Had to get some more...
If I'm alive, then I can drive, let's all go to the store!
OOOOhh!
Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!
Heeeeeyyyy!
Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!
>Playing games with tennis balls?
Men, playing games with tennis balls!
Earn far too much dough.
In the game of tennis you know.
Some male players are now acting tough.
Saying they aren’t paid enough.
For playing games with balls not too rough.
Now they say they want more pay.
Than women, who with their balls do play.
Dragon, that last line sounds not right.
Might be read wrong, on first sight.
Guess someone will soon complain tonight.
We’ll blame it on AI, that’s right.
I’m glad they’ve all got the same dough.
When winning Wimbledon you know.
I still feel sorry for all them balls.
When served so fast into the air.
That’s the thing, I don’t think’s fair.
Why is it when men play ball games?
They insult women so.
Them that play tennis, with those tennis balls.
Some men really do you know.
If women should with those tennis balls play.
Men should never complain anyway.
For when women serve those balls so.
Men can volley them back you know.
Women may not be as strong as men.
In all sport games they play.
But neither do they throw tantrums.
If match points, don’t go their way.
I’m not a keen tennis viewer, that I must declare.
As I watch those poor tennis balls, whizzing through the air.
I had a job explaining that, to my friend Planet Nine.
He thought they were small planets, being hit for fore.
I said that was another sport, best we do ignore.
I wish all sports ball game prizes, were at least the same.
Played on a fair smooth plain
Not on a plane that flies so high.
You can’t play those ball games, in the sky.
So come on you men, do play fair.
Pay all prize money equally so there.
When women play, ball games with you.
They can be on equal pay too.
What else can I really say?
As I play with balls every day.
But as a poet, I don’t play swell.
Nor am I paid as blinking well.
Well done Dragon and you Spellchecker, sorry but we will have to divide the royalties with Planet Nine. Why? That simple he is bigger than us. Bye everybody. Stanley (The mad Author)<
Jen loves to go to bingo
Knows all the caller’s ‘lingo’
Her numbers come out
She gives a loud shout
Lose - she howls like a dingo
25th February 2015
love the game
play with my balls all the time
top man on the green
Split my banana and stuff it with cream
top with tantalizing treats to extreme
nuts and silky sweetened balls
gooey toppings form seawalls
nothing left out of a lover's wet dream
Lines, Launch Angles and Curve Balls
The boys of summer
Set up for a season of lines, launch angles and curve balls
With straight chalky lines leading to a field of dreams
Where line-ups keep the line moving
On frozen ropes to climb the ladder into the catbird seat
Above the Mendoza line when outlines of a waving pennant envision
Crooked numbers and dusty home plates where grand salamis
Foil curves balls in flying angle launch lines – not lined out,
Not out of line
To make power lines for a hitter’s line of sight
And for bases lines, nicknamed the 45’ line,
That call for calls of fair ball down the line
Or foul across the foul line
To guide the line – fair or foul -
And lines of music for the seventh inning stretch, or the chin,
Sung in lusty lines of fans in seat lines
Or in line for nachos, popcorn, brats and beer –
To cheer the back door slider, can of corn or Uncle Charlie –
A Bronx cheer or line of boos –
A summer lineup card of seeing-eye doubles down the line,
Balls climbing up the ladder lines
Nestled in a flat curve
For lines creating perfect diamond angles
Ringing with famous lines
“Batter up!”
For “There’s no crying in baseball.” –
A nervous breakdown in nine innings” -
Because “It’s outta here!”
“Adios Pelota!” “Good bye Mr. Spaulding!”
“Holy Cow!” “Long gone!”
“Put it on the board” “Hey! Hey!”
“Oh Doctor!” “Bye, bye baby!”
And “It ain’t over till it’s over!”
Because “It’s getting late early.”
And “The impossible just happened.” “Forget it!”
“Hello again everybody! It’s a bee-yoo-tiful day for baseball.”
“How about that?”
“If it wasn’t for baseball I’d be in either the penitentiary or cemetery.”
“Remember these two things – play hard and have fun.”
With lines, launch angles and curve balls.
Opening Day April 1, 2021
Beneath the carnival lights,
where fortunes danced and swayed,
a prophet sat behind a glass screen,
dressed in a turban, and bright brocade.
A coin slipped in and woke the oracle.
With a clang, a click, a beat of drum,
A bottled genie deep within was stirred,
Our fate was sprung; our fortune opened, revealed.
The glowing eyes knew every face,
every dream the heart held dear;
every wish, every need, every want fulfilled,
was printed on a tiny card, and then expelled.
The years rolled on; the tents came down.
The boardwalk halls all closed down.
Yet the hunger for prophecy foretold remained,
in modern shrines, in glowing glass enclosed.
The prophet's turban turned to code,
Its gears and wheels changed to circuit chips.
Eliza, Claude and Gemini said: "I'm here to help".
All clad in Zolta's turban, gear and fab disguise.
From Zoltar's gears to silicon dreams,
we've always asked screen oracles for help.
To see our fortunes unfurl, and be revealed,
in the swirl of mist in dark crystal balls.
I've got footballs.I've got basketballs.I've got baseballs.
And now, they're showing my balls on ESPN.
But the smallest balls I've ever seen?
Were golf balls.
Ping Pong balls were even smaller.
Would you like to join me, for a game of table tennis?
Because! I've got balls..
I've got red balls.I've got white balls.I've got blue balls.
And now, they're playing The Star Spangled Banner.
But the biggest balls I've ever seen?
Were elephant balls.
How many balls does it take to reach the moon?
One! But it's got to be a big one.
One big ball..
I'm going down to the ball room right now, and have a ball.
Would you like to join me?
We'll have a real good time.
Because! I've got balls..
Humorous Poetry By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2002,2014..
ALL rights reserved..
No wonder his dropping balls are egg - shaped . He 's a veteran rugby player
Not for the contest but inspired by the Sports one liner contest : )
This is not a Sports Limerick ; For Jan's Limerick Contest .
My Limerick will not mention Sports .
Either pitches , golf courses or courts .
'Cept cranky old farts
Who like playing darts
With no fuss in a truss of supports .
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Sorry guys , I just couldn't resist it !
Happy Christmas to all the talented writers here , and to those who passed comment on my "ramblings" . May your pens be sharp/witty and bountiful for 2016
Sean .
Sir Henry was smoking cheroot
Stark naked in his birthday suit
But he did something rash
When he's flicking his ash
His pubes are no longer hirsute!
4th May 2015
Golf Balls Did End Up Under
I just looked outside and saw so much rain
And hope that it all will go down the drain
Until one day again it finally did level off
We could play another great game of golf.
Fairways together each green should link
But when you walk on water and start to sink
Much difficulty surely soon started to see
What would your adjusted handicap be?
Through all of the rule books I have sifted
Nothing was said about being air-lifted
Fairways forgotten and had been skipped
While all of the water flowed and dripped.
To me complete conclusion it now brings
When you may need pair of water wings
Do be prepared in case of a big blunder
When below golf bag and balls go under.
When your balls are below water that
sounds pretty high filuting to me.
James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Those spiked thorns of sweet gum balls
cause a sprawl
and sprained ankle,
close calls
Sour my day, sweet gum balls
curse you! so ill befalls!
Once and for all,
no sweet, no sweet gum balls-injury befalls
your innocent victims, vicious, thorny, balls!