Sir Billy Pig’s missing his oats
Miss Piggy Wig’s had hers, she gloats
But she’s looking so rough
Her bum’s full of crap stuff
Its output is brown and it floats!
I’m advised by a pal of mine
To “Never cast pearls before swine”
Or put lipstick on a pig
When it’s mouthing off big
Miss Piggy Wig’s an old bovine!
Average people, those who don’t exist
Are well-studied, always the same
I’m sure you have some of them on the list
And they can remember your name
The less they appear to know of the subject,
The more judgements you hear from them
They really can’t holdout about it
Repeating again and again
The proof that they are mostly average
But not for themselves, they rely
On their astuteness and age
Their knowledge I wouldn't deny
In case they can’t stop I take it as a call
For a pint, maybe two, if not three
The average talks, and this saves from a fall
Into the bottomless sea.
Being Average
Is Akin To Failure
Miracle Man
8/5/2024
Don't be average,
cream is always found on top.
Strive to be the best.
Something about the new
Stage behind the red swagger
Green TVs, living that luxury
Almost getting lost with the sullen
Eagles lifted to heaven level
Gray in the garden bed
I’m painted yellow and
Glowing like a scarecrow
Angel among the dead heads
Smoked up across America
Smoked up in back yards, kitchens
Bedrooms, smoked to heaven
And hell and found a way back
To sleep before work starts
I’m molded in the sealing
Of your bathroom tile watching
Scum blossom. Lost in the open
Neck draining on park pavement
Only good men chase bad kids
Everyone knows he was loaded
Days after, we found bullet holes
Through the walls, bullets lodged
In the door of our car. I almost
Thought I’d find a hole through
My heart. Three days past the
Rude waking and I’d find a bullet
Still burning some hell through me
Average Wasn’t Good Enough
Miracle Man
4/27/2024
If life were simple everyone would excel.
Before I could make others believe in me,
I had to exhibit a belief in myself,
and God given ability.
I realized to be good at something
would require putting in the work,
while being persistent.
Just average wouldn’t get the job done,
because cream always rises to the top.
I always endeavored to do more
than I thought was expected of me.
A few people will grow the Roses,
while multitudes will just smell them.
Give me the man/woman with burning desire,
and you can have the most talented one.
Tom
We can help out there, it would be the humanitarian thing to do.
Well, of course you are right but one thing left out of your thoughts have you?
I don’t see what I’ve left out, perhaps you can elaborate?
It’s as clear as the nose on your face, but you still just don’t get it mate!
Get what? Why can’t we help these poor foreigners in their plight of need? What is there that stops us, some conceited superiority?
Mmmm! You’re nearly there mate!
What is I cannot see?
We’re ENGLISH mate, you and me.
The by-far dull child at orphanage,
After placement on beverage,
Mathematics above average:
A sixty-nine percent anchorage?
Other kids could only vilely rage;
The most envious began fast to age
The once-empty thing at orphanage
Could thrice try syllabus coverage,
Teachers wasting words; he could manage,
No need to be under tutelage...
Means beverage gives one leverage
Kids' craving for it to encourage
Teenagers: Beverage leverage,
To them cash for purchasing courage
Dad and Mum willy nilly savage,
If their fine kids can't reach beverage.
A thing to cry over like carnage!
Just Another Average Christmas
Just another average Christmas, not especially good nor bad,
When everyone says dinner was the best they’ve ever had.
When Mother works her fingers off with no respite nor leisure,
But keeps her best face forward and pretends it’s all a pleasure.
Just another average Christmas, when kids reject their presents,
When parents wonder why they tolerate their adolescents.
When grandparents sit smugly, watching as their offspring suffer,
Reminding them that Christmas always used to be much tougher.
Just another average Christmas, a day when booze flows freely,
When those in party games would rather watch the telly, really.
When Granny loves her pot-plant, and Granddad loathes his socks,
And speculation reigns about what’s in that extra box.
Just another average Christmas, not especially bad nor good,
When everyone feels ill from forcing down the excess food.
When kids go play their X-Box games, whilst Dad pulls on his sweater,
And vainly hopes that next year’s Christmas Day will be much better.
Whitewash is white
White race is not white
White gold is not white
White pepper is not white
Look before you leap
Think thrice before you act
Never jump to a conclusion
Without investigation
Sometimes quick and smart
Doesn't mean excellent and perfect
People used to say
Work smart but not work hard
But to survive an economical crisis
Many an average
Will surpass merely a few excellent
An army of mites reside on our lashes
With mouths and tiny claws
Along the way during human evolution
This surely must have been a flaw
Astronauts strangely can't burp in space
What kind of dribble is that
A feline can have over a hundred kittens
Now that's one pooped out cat
Some atheists put up Christmas trees
An identity crisis for sure
A cow can poop up to four tons a year
That's sure a batch of manure
A woman once had sixty-nine children
Talk about barefoot and pregnant
With a dirty big bunch of kiddies like that
She could hold her own beauty pageant
Nose prints are used to identify dogs
Imagine if they were used for humans
Especially during the influenza season
There'd be snot all over the policeman
The tallest people in the world are the Dutch
Must have to duck under the windmills
While kissing most tilt their head to the right
But there's some who rub noses still
The salary of Toto in “The Wizard Of Oz”
Was a hundred twenty dollars a week
That's a hundred and twenty more than me
Since retiring my new job is sleep
In a average lifetime, humans usually eat
About sixty thousand pounds of food
That's equal to the weight of six elephants
But the elephants have to be nude
Half of all Americans over fifty
No longer possess their own choppers
Be careful if you get into a fight with one
They'll gum you to death right proper
World's shortest man was only 21 inches
Had to have his tuxedo specially made
Wives want more sex reading love stories
Husbands have it made in the shade
There's lots of howling in India at night
Law says you can marry your dog
Once the U.S. issued a 5 cent bill
Vending machines got all clogged
Babies are often dropped on their head
More serious than colic by far
Males sweat more than ladies when caught
With their hands in the cookie jar
It has been estimated that at any one time
0.7 % of the world is drunk
Actually thought it'd be a whole lot higher
My in-law is always drunk as a skunk
The average person walks the equivalent
Of twice round the world afore they're done
No wonder I don't feel like I get enough sleep
But I'm probably not the only one!
Marriage On Average HLM
master and miss meet
friendship turning courtship
and ended in wedding.
Amour in glamour whispered to both ears.
but lasting only just for a few years.
Sky of love under cloud
Clash and conflict too loud.
Rippling romance floated away with tears.
If you marry, you will regret, if not sure to repent.
01/27/22
Charlie Hai-Li-m-Ku
Contest by Charles Messina
I'm not a great thinker, a stinker, yes
Just an average old joe, I must confess
What I have to give
Is a great way to live
Wake with a smile and give my body a caress
report card arrives - nerves like banjo strings, yikes, so bad I could burn it.
Date : 3 September 2020
Contest : My Most Unforgettable Moment in HighSchool
Sponsor : JCB BURL
17 syllables using Poetry Soup Syllable Counter
Party all night long,
Sleep for six hours,
Get a latte with your friends,
Realize you were supposed to go to work today.
Realize you were supposed to go to work today,
Get a latte with your friends,
Sleep for six hours,
Party all night long.
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