Razor back clams
she put the veggie
oil and olive oil
together in a bowl
and put cayenne and
dried peppers in the oil
where she had
crushed 10 cloves of garlic
heating the oil to extract the flavors
she let it cook
for 6 minutes
cooling over night
for lunch the next
day she would be entertaining
more than 55 people
for rehearsal
of the orchestra
razor clams
and nutria
and lsenga
would be the stars of
the table
chef Monday would
cook to the delight of these people
who needed to fine tune
there act.
Stuffed Nutria
the hindparts stuffed with
crayfish and sausage
a dry Alsatian pinot blanc
to accompany the parmesan and
lemon and pine nut combo
that coupled with crayfish and sausage
I asked my wife what was the best way to
cook a Muskrat and I told
her done. I aint got nothing against the thang
I just wanna do it with people I will likely need there
opio and loyalty to me and I to them
like this opera player
due to there need to
focus and fine tune to be absolute professionals.
the Fox 41 has never lefted us abandoned.
These are interesting times:
hordes of Hitler Youth
are marching out
from our institutes of higher learning,
those who believe that 'all lives matter'
are labeled racists.
We saw none of this coming,
and is that our kid in that zombie mob?
Dad has been busy at the golf course,
mom coaching Little Legue soccer.
We thought it was a good life
the dream
at the heart of the American Dream
not noticing the corrosive rot
being sold as truth,
and now,
and now,
we are all very sick,
even the dog has been brain-washed,
it is behaving like a rabid Nazi,
not a big leap for an Alsatian guard dog.
As we neared our destination
Heard a loud reverberation
Almost instant suffocation
Windows down for ventilation
First a little accusation
Followed by a refutation
Then he says it’s defamation
An unjust adjudication
One quick breath in desperation
Then I paused my respiration
Dare not risk an inhalation
Fumes so bad they’d kill a nation
Cigarette for relaxation
Struck a match then detonation
Leapt out to avoid cremation
Went back for my charred Alsatian
4 October 2022
Contest: Single Stanza Monorhyme
Sponsor: L Milton Hankins
Jane had a stutter
She took her time to speak
Her little sister Lucy lisped
Which sounded rather sweet
Her father had a loud voice
He was master of the house
Her mother spoke softly
Like a timid little mouse
Her brother was dumb
And he couldn't say a word
Grandma was deaf
She mixed up everything she heard
The pussy cat purred
The Alsatian dog barked
The Canary in a cage
Sang like a lark
The kettle on the hob
Whistled merrily
Mum put her knitting down
And made a cup of tea
Knowing browns of molten Tiger’s Eye give me a loving look
One ear cocked, and the other is always half-flopped just so
Now and then, her exuberance forgets she’s a large Alsatian
as she snuggles for cuddles as a wiggly fur ball named Kona…
Bearing colors of her timber wolf kin, she is more like a lamb
Eagerly, she’ll swim to fetch a stick, which she’ll then go hide
away in the thick bramble she will scramble while I yell whoa!
Returning home, she’ll lick my toes till I’m filled with laughter...
(12/11/2019 For my favorite animal contest)
I remember my cousin so adventurous
Carpe Diem was the way he lived
In the fast lane his motive was obvious
Now without him life is
One big cul de sac
Back then I drank Tip Top
For the first time
our mixer
was Drink O’ Pop
This came tipping arcade game machines
Over with crowbars and looting the coins
When I came home
on holidays from boarding school
I heard Eon was chewed by an Alsatian
On the thigh he boxed at him
What was a laugh
Doors grind at his own thighs
By not listening to his dad
His mom took a jab at his pride
Asking jokingly did you try
to cut of your birdie?
Hee hee !
Drunk like a skunk
Falling in slump
Gosh when I think about you cuz
It brings back a lump…
The sponsor chose words I’ve never heard of before
So if I don’t win the contest I’ll declare he’s a bore
It’s axiomatic that I’ve an altruistic attitude
But I don’t give a fig if folks think that I’m rude!
I’ll sign a declaration of my asseveration
Then bare my teeth like an angry Alsatian!
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words
Is this word some kind of cynical joke aimed at dim witted nerds!
REQUIRED WORDS axiomatic, altruistic, asseveration
Tongue firmly in cheek poem for contest
Triple A Challenge
Sponsored by Robert Haigh
4/15/18
She sought refuge in
The backyard shrub;
Dad, there is an Alsatian in the shrub;
Armed with pebbles
I chased her away.
Dad, that Alsatian is back,
I armed myself with pebbles
Second and third,
She fled.
Fourth time i retraced
My confused fear and anger,
I gave her food;
She did not eat;
On return, she had eaten.
Dad, that Alsatian is sitting
On the couch, telly staring;
Get out of here, I shouted,
She went out obediently.
Lost Alsatian, the advert read;
She sits on couches,
Stares telly.
Pretty left me four
Beautiful pups, she is nowhere
To be found:
Oh, my Pretty Alsatian,
Where are you?
I miss the security and fondness
You brought me!
Waterproof Alsatian
Alsatian dog lives under the sea
along with spoon billed turtle
and a dolphin who is normal.
Follow concrete pier into the shallows,
angling down into deeper water
light fading shines no more.
Here they play, special dog with
oily coat swimming and turning eating fish.
Surfaces to breathe, spoon billed turtle
is his friend. Both nature’s odd balls
looking after each other, having fun
with the lonely dolphin.
His kind swam
off leaving him alone. Then came the dog,
waterproof alsatian, looks like a normal
short hair brown and black,
his coat has a thick layer of oil like a duck’s.
He barks and plays but can see underwater
and has a permanently wet nose.
Fish food is his favourite and he sleeps on the current,
floating legs down, tail swinging side to side,
waterproof alsatian in the sea.
Stroking Alsatian / Oil tanker sails past, huge joy / Woof! Tasty meal, you
Used to live in
Strasbourg:
9, Quai de Paris.
The piers in that
city
Were on canals.
Window flower boxes
On Alsatian cafes,
Choucroute garnie
entres
With onion tartes.
Venders sell hot
chestnuts
In Orangerie park.
I'd sight-see after
dark
La Petite France.
Notes: Choucroute
garnie is sauerkraut
slow cooked with
Riesling white wine,
potatoes, ham,
sausages, and
cloves. Tarte a
l’oignon is also an
Alsatian specialty.
La Petite France is
the canal district
that had many
tanneries which now
are tourist shops
and high-end
restaurants
Alsatian sausage
with sauerkraut, potatoes, cloves
Slow cooked in Reisling
As I wonder about with a weary waggling weak tail,
looking for a peaceful perfectly polished place to rest,
since I have no more real relatives,
I seek solace in science as a solely secured
scheme for my soul;yet,peace eludes me,
I was born as a guard dog;
An Alsatian!nosy,nasty and naughty,
When my original flamboyant fine fellow was still alive,
I reigned supreme;swimming,skating and skiing,
we do things in common like twinkling tolerable twins,
Playing at the park with plenty pretty primitive children,
It was a full fun fair and I became a friend to a flaxen ferret,
who harmonized my heroic hard-edged heart with her
nice nifty nature; I fell flat for her,
engrossed in this long lasting leisure or pleasure , then came
one dark dry day that disaster struck which was despicable,
I loss my entire family ,friends and no foe; oh,Frank!
in a careless crash that crushed the car,
Since then,I became hopeless,homeless,helpless and heartless,
Lord!let them live in liberty in life beyond.
CONTEST:"Dog Gone Tales" sponsored by Tanya Harrington
DATE:6-24-2012
It was a wild and stormy winter’s night,
The huge Alsatian chased her from the park;
She wondered if its fearsome teeth would bite
And, scared of dogs, she shuddered at its bark -
But then she saw a blinding flash of light,
And trembled as a tree, its outline stark,
Fell crashing to the ground - she would have died:
She owed her life to that angelic guide.
Jack Horne, 28th March
for Gail’s contest
Little boy, dirty knees,
kite floating in the breeze
Findings frogs, tadpoles too,
fall in water, soaked right through
Lolly stick race, down the stream,
school apple pie and shaving cream
In bakers shop, poke the cakes,
build new bike, forget the brakes
Eat strawberries, then put jars back,
painting Grandads tomatoes black
Scrumping apples, make a raft,
old man on the corner completely daft
Pinching golf balls from the club,
arrowroot biscuits outside the pub
Playtime at school, kiss chase today,
please Zena this time dont run away
Break fireworks up to make a bang,
when I am 10 I'll have a gang
Must get home its cubs tonight,
look theres a bundle, lets watch the fight
Gang house built up in the trees,
quick in the bomb crater before the farmer sees
Books on skates, knock down ginger too,
never bored, lots to do
Memo biscuits, tanner a pack,
see the brush salesman, look mum hes black
Slide down bannisters, jump from the ledge,
not on the path, just close to the edge
Childhood memories will never cease,
the mind grows old, the dreams wont ease
One memory I'll have right to the end,
Chip the Alsatian, my childhood friend
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