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World's Oldest Profession

You’ve heard some funny stories about a rabbi and a priest, This one includes an imam and it’s wild to say the least. They called it Interfaith Discussion, to make it sound so wise, But it was just God companies set out to proselytize. “Thank you all so much for coming, was their opening remark, Welcome to our forum, we hope that light will fill the dark, But first a little prayer, would you all please bow your heads,” And bend your knees to show you care that God hears what is said. Excuse me sir, I stood and asked, “Why perform this ritual? It really has no meaning as to love and what is spiritual. All of us had parents that came from simple mortal man. And they regard us face to face, and some call us right hands. So why in heaven’s name, would a God who loves me more, Put me on my knees and have me talking to the floor?” Stunned and clearly shaken the youthful priest began to blush, "Excuse me son, don’t argue," was his answer in a rush, "It’s an honest question young man, I calmly answered back, And please don’t call me son, that’s very arrogant in fact." “Now let me ask another thing, since you say Christ is God, That means his death was suicide, don’t you think that’s odd?” By now the crowd was silent, could he explain those lies... He stamped his foot and shouted, “I believe it. That is why!” “But that is not an answer, not to any of my questions, And furthermore I have for you a number of suggestions. Stop pretending you have access to some special information, Everyone that’s ruled by love is sure to find salvation. And isn’t God just love, but love and money is prostitution? The oldest men’s professions are in religious institutions.” “Love carries its own authority as the real word of God. Jesus didn’t invent it, nor did Moses or Mohammed. So much unwise fiction has been joined to that great pearl, Self-righteous wicked people, seeking ways to rule the world,” “Slavery and royalty, God blessed these sad oppressions, Colonists and terrorists, God blessed mass murder actions. Wicked men and selfish nations, twist love to aid their lies, Ten thousand wars, a billion dead, religions helped them die.” “And it isn’t just the Christians, the Jews are terrible too. Moses said that they were best to milk conceited fools. For arrogant people pay any price to feel above all others, But the real god, the love inside, is free and calls us brothers.” “Then there's radical Islam, more buttholes for a fact, A billion crazy Muslims cheer when terrorists attack. But since half the world is male, how are 72 brides arranged? Does God castrate most Muslim men so they can be sex changed?” “Death to you!” The imam raged, “No insult will I take!” “Stone him, cried the rabbi!” “The priest yelled, burn him at the stake!” All hell broke loose, as chaos reigned; I sparked unholy war, That I would know what martyrs get, was clearly next in store! But wise men rose to my defense and kept those dogs at bay, So the salesmen of love tucked tail and simply slunk away. For when did God forbid that people find him on their own? And those who speak for God are those to whom God is unknown!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

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Date: 5/12/2018 1:23:00 PM
I enjoyed your clever rhymes. I laud efforts to spread your message of personal as opposed to institutional or other regulation of moral and socially acceptable behaviors. "Religious" groups and cults that claim superior knowledge and demand adherence to their inane requirements for obedience and acceptance of illogical and unsupportable "tenets" through "faith" (basically the suspension of disbelief) are the culprits in the continued battles and hatred still so widespread.
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