Get Your Premium Membership

The electrician on the Starship

The Electrician......

on the starship Enterprise
the lights have gone all dim
captain Kirk decided to 
get an electrician in

the electrician's name was Bodger
he was fully qualified
what Captain Kirk didn't know was
that he was completely colour blind

one to beam up said the Captain
Scotty was surprised
when he noticed that Billy Bodger
did not energise

Scotty flicked some knobs
and booted the machine
the coordinates were out of phase
and was nowhere to be seen

“I dinny know what happened”
the Scotsman shouted out
It turned out that Billy Bodger
had completely shorted out

finally, he energised
he was smoldering red hot
his trousers were on fire
and he was moaning quite a lot

Spock grabbed the extinguisher
and promptly set it to stun
and covered Billy Bodger 
in a sticky gungee gum

he opened up the fuse box
It was full of coloured wires
the insulation had melted
and the box had caught on fire

then suddenly there was this popping sound
and a smell of burning wire
then  realised that the fuse box 
would need a complete rewire

he followed all the wires
along the starboard side
he couldn't find the problem
he was totally mystified

the wires went along the wall
then underneath the floor
and followed all the wires
to Lieutenant Uhura 's door

he rang the doorbell softly
the lieutenant pushed the door ajar
she asked him “what's a matter”
as he crawled along the floor

the wires all came to a stop
and there he saw the problem
there was a three pin UK plug
with a 15 way extension

Connected to the wires 
there were lots of stuff plugged in

i pad, sewing machine
and an espresso coffee maker
an electric hairbrush, curling tongs 
and a personal computer

electric whisker, electric kettle
and an ice cream maker
there was a skybox, a Huawei 20 pro
and a  little blue tooth speaker

a bedside light, a dimmer switch
and a little yogurt maker
a rechargeable chain-saw
and a walking exerciser

“What's a girl to do? “she said
“I am a famous actress”
“When I work on the starship
“I've got to look completely ageless”

now Bodger's job was over 
he was finally beamed back down
he landed in the river Dronne
where he nearly drowned

Taking liberties with Grimmer, Spilling and Pants uation

"All characters and events in this poem– even those based on real people – 
 are entirely fictional and made up! 

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 6/9/2019 5:52:00 PM
Hello The Bored Bard, a story form in a poetry. is great! Well done. have a nice evening my friend.
Login to Reply
Bard Avatar
The Bored Bard
Date: 6/22/2019 3:16:00 AM
Hi Darlene, always nice to hear from you
Date: 5/12/2019 3:11:00 AM
absolutely hilarious I used to love star trek lol - I can just picture the scenes especially with all those electrical items on one extension lol:-) adding this gem to my faves:-)hugs jan xx
Login to Reply
Bard Avatar
The Bored Bard
Date: 6/22/2019 3:16:00 AM
Thanks for your kind words