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Seat B12 in the quiet coach

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The day to day misery of travel on the Britis Rail system

Seat B12 in the quiet coach

Reservation seat B12 in quiet coach,
Ridiculously overcrowded again.
Noisy bored children, overbearing,
Trolley Lady exasperation and strain.

Passengers number three hundred,
Seats available, one eighty-three.
Payment for the privilege of misery,
Nine-thirty beer fumes intoxicate me.

Hottest day of the year so far,
Northern Rail air-con on the blink,
Surrounded by bad tempered Dad,
His Mother, Wife, five kids, Kitchen sink.

I had the option of empty first class,
But could not raise the finance.
Highway robbery upon the tracks,
Thirty-three pound for boil and free-lance.

Welcome relief at next station,
Sixteen people disembark or alight,
Previous train developed a fault,
Fifty-eight more, squeeze ‘em in tight.

Take time to read displayed safety notices,
Said Conductress with ironic tone.
Full ticket check to follow shortly,
Penalty fares for travelling wrong zone.

We have come to the end of the line,
Look forward to welcoming you again,
Apologies for the disgusting service,
But this is England, expect a little pain.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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Date: 8/5/2019 9:47:00 AM
Sounds horrendous and makes me SO glad we have our old steam trains here Kevin, an elegant way to travel and 99% of the time there is a seat. Son used to love traveling on them when he was small and we had a season ticket but i don't think they sell them any more. :-) hugs jan xx
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Kevin Shaw
Date: 8/6/2019 12:57:00 PM
Your steam trains sound ideal, nice to hear from you again, hope all is well, kindest regards, Kevin xx