PoetrySoup and Censorship
Sir, I’d gladly renew my subscription
to PoetrySoup but on one condition:
That your staff, or someone there with a sense
of an exaggerated omnipotence
stop sabotaging my use of a three
letter English noun as common as any
found in the history of our vocabulary!
The word in question begins with an “a”
and ends with a double “s”, by the way,
just a helpful hint in case your censor
doesn’t confuse it with some other.
It’s also a ubiquitous surrogate for
one’s back end, rear, or posterior.
Its use in all strata of our society
is so pervasive in its commonality
to object to it is considered peevish –
except to the hard nose ultra squeamish.
Be that as it may, my chief objection
to its banishment from poetic diction,
is twofold: first, it’s absurd if not ass-
inine to believe that placing two as-
teriks for “ss” will prevent the reader
from identifying the word or either
from sounding it! So what? And besides,
does the reader lose his right to vocalize?
Now for my second point, and by far
more critical, “a**”, when used to jar
(or shock) or to bring about loud laughter,
especially with its rhyming partner,
will leave the reader is dismay,
and feel like a deflated French soufflé.
(It’s worse than a Fourth of July
with no pyrotechnics in a night sky!)
Incidently, the “a**” zoologically
belongs to the “equus asinus” family.
Why, the word even appears in the bible’s,
pages, and if God had no scruples
to put it there why censure a poet if he
includes it in his own poetry?
I’d recommend the censor (he or she)
at PoetrySoup read all bible passages
where the naughty words “a**” or “a**es”
appear, though, be warned, without asterisks
and the over scrupulous reader risks
a fatal stroke or a sullied conscience
requiring prayers and forgiveness
or, worse still, a thorough repudiation
of the bible’s divine inspiration!
Copyright © Maurice Rigoler | Year Posted 2021
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