Get Your Premium Membership

Dog's Day Out

Here's the tale of my Cocker Spaniel The one with the big floppy ears, And when I have finished my story It will very soon have you in tears. Now the first time I heard of his exploits It made me go weak at the knee I was told that the police had detained him At the local constabulary. It seems they were going to charge him With offences, 'til now, little known. He'd be up in court, and it was partly my fault For letting him out on his own. The first charge was 'Malice Aforethought' Going berserk on a garage's forecourt And putting a mechanic in a state of great panic By proving he wasn't a spoilsport. The second charge 'Paying Undue Attention' Had details too embarrassing to mention. He was apparently found with a large Afghan Hound That belonged to an angry young Frenchman. The third charge was 'Running Amok' In the market, destroying their stock He left very quick, with an oil lamp and wick And two pairs of tights and a sock. The fourth charge 'Resisting Arrest' Proves he beat the Metropolitan's best And a policeman on mount, gave a detailed account How he'd ripped a big hole in his vest. The fifth charge was at the police station When my dog had a slight inclination He just didn't look, soaked the charge book Then blamed it on their own Alsatian. The day of the trial came quickly I forget now the date it was held But there in the dock, stood a dog of good stock Like he hadn't a care in the world. I listened with dread as the charges were read. His lawyer gave up and went home. I imagined the headlines tomorrow: 'What happens when you let a dog roam'. When hearing the charges against him The dog hung his head down in shame The judge said he meant, that with all his intent It would never, ever happen again. He confined him to kennels for one month On a diet of marrow bone jelly. Saying 'I've reached the conclusion, you suffered illusion From the violence you've seen on the telly'. So with muzzle in place and paw-cuffs galore They dragged him out of the courtroom door. And his criminal record (A dog-eared file) Now opens out for half a mile. 27th January 2017

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 6/18/2017 7:04:00 PM
To the faves and to my daily reading list goes RG. Takes a lot to keep my attention span going through a long write, but you did very well here! Love it! Thanks for the guffaws! ~ john
Login to Reply
Date: 3/2/2017 9:21:00 AM
Another humorous gem Ray! Thanks for the chuckle!~Che :)
Login to Reply
Gridley Avatar
Ray Gridley
Date: 3/3/2017 5:16:00 AM
Dogs can provide some funny material for poems, thanks Che.
Date: 2/13/2017 1:34:00 PM
It did have me in tears....tears of laughter....being an owner of two cocker spaniels, I totally get this!! Thank you for the laughter.
Login to Reply
Gridley Avatar
Ray Gridley
Date: 2/13/2017 3:28:00 PM
Thanks! Glad it made you laugh.
Date: 2/7/2017 8:21:00 AM
I finished your poems before coffee, so lovely to be giggled awake! Now it's time to get moving, so many dogs for walks I must take. Thanks Ray! A fabulous way to start my day. Cheers Mo
Login to Reply
Gridley Avatar
Ray Gridley
Date: 2/7/2017 9:08:00 AM
Thanks Mo!