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Americans Can't Spell

You Americans really can’t spell,
There, I’ve said it out loud - what the hell!
Though we all recognise,
And, yes, humour your tries,
Well, the fact is, you’ve failed to excel.

It would seem, as the language has travelled,
That the mould has set in - it’s unravelled,
Cataloguing your gaffes,
Could take aeons perhaps,
If I ploughed through them all, I’d be frazzled!

Don’t apologise! Don’t take offence!
It’s quite difficult, in your defence,
But, my friends, with some rigour,
And fervour, and vigour,
Your progress could be quite immense.

So if vast stateside skies appear grey,
Or the lustre has gone from your day,
You could try drinking cider, 
Say prayers! Eat more fibre! 
Or.. try spelling stuff the right way!



Good night my fabulous American cousins.
You know I love you all x x x

(Oh the irony... as I submitted this, I had to tick the category named “humor” ;-D)

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 11/15/2018 11:23:00 AM
I hate to admit it but, so true, so no offense taken. It brought quite a chuckle, (did I spell that right?) Good one!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 11/16/2018 12:27:00 PM
No, it’s chukkle lol!
Date: 11/15/2018 11:00:00 AM
Great stuff, Nina! The one that gets me is aluminium vs aluminum!! All done in jest, but hits the mark. Regards, John.
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Date: 10/23/2018 5:45:00 AM
Back again to congratulate on this beautifully creative poem being given POTD honors my good friend (last one disappeared in the crash). A true American recognizes the greatness and rich history of our mother country and takes pride in being started from that bloodline.
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/23/2018 3:38:00 PM
Thanks so much for re-commenting Robert - much appreciated. IT issues are a vile thing aren’t they - because they steal our TIME! The worst kind of thievery!
Date: 10/22/2018 6:47:00 PM
They would have to change keyboards to do phonetic alphabet because there is voice TH and unvoiced TH and many other distinctive sounds not even represented by our alphabet. I think it would be SO cool if all the world had the same SOUND alphabet. We could read their languages even without understanding what we were reading and all kids would be required to learn sounds not in their own language such as the Spanish rolled R. Oh , well it's a dream I am very likely never to see
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/23/2018 3:37:00 PM
Ah, we could fake it so beautifully... I read that our palettes form around the sounds we make as a young child... so for example many Germans find it impossible to make some Spanish sounds and vice versa - if we learnt ALL the sounds from the beginning, maybe we could speak like a native in any language we got off our bums to learn!
Date: 10/22/2018 4:31:00 PM
I’m with you on this, my compatriot friend, though I also have great affection for our transatlantic cousins (even D. Trump!); but my main beef is about pronunciation - see my poem: ‘Inter-nation Pronunciation. Well done, Nina.
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/22/2018 4:39:00 PM
Great, I’ll have a look! Different spellings shouldn’t be annoying, should they - maybe it’s because I have to proofread stuff at work, so if something’s “wrong”, it just yells at me! I was just helping my husband to prepare a document, and I blurted out “PUT A SPACE AFTER THAT SLASH OR I’LL HAVE TO SCRATCH MY FACE OFF!” These things affect me quite deeply it would seem!!
Date: 10/22/2018 3:01:00 PM
All in good fun, Nina, so may all have a good laugh:) Congrats on p.o.t.d. Regards // paul
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/22/2018 4:41:00 PM
Thank you very much Paul! This is definitely the poem that has got the most reads in the shortest time for me! That’s not necessarily a good thing!! :-/
Date: 10/20/2018 11:01:00 AM
Well, Nina, I think this piece is fabulously funnie. But, in our defense, we've simply simplified spelling to make it a bit more manageable. Now, pronunciation is something else...how about your "Beauchamp", and "St. John", par exemple. You think more "fibre" would really help?
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/20/2018 11:14:00 AM
No, more “fibre” wouldn’t help with Beecham or Sinjun! Both ridiculous. And we haven’t even started on our place names - Leicester (Lester), Towcester (Toaster) and my favourite, Mousehole (Moosel)!
Date: 10/19/2018 9:32:00 PM
:) Your thoughts bring a smile and a giggle. It truly is amazing to me- that no one can spell these days. I think many shorter words, in order to make it easier to say. Hmm, but I get confused. Lol. What did you say again?? :) Congratulations Nina, on Poem of the Day. ~ Brandy
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/20/2018 12:54:00 AM
Thank you very much Brandy! Actually teaching my boys to read makes me realise how complicated English spelling is - whether British or American. “But why is “beed” spelt “bead” and “hed” spelt “head” Mummy?” “Errrrrrr.... to make your life hell???”
Date: 10/19/2018 4:49:00 PM
Congratulations Nina on POTD. If you Brits would relax your stiff upper lip a little, then you could speak correctly.(lol)
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 4:56:00 PM
Aye don’t know warrrt you mean, young man! May lip is extweeeemely wubbewy. Not stiff at all!
Date: 10/19/2018 3:40:00 PM
Love it, Nina- congrats on POTD!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 4:57:00 PM
Danke schon Agnes!
Date: 10/19/2018 3:16:00 PM
Congratulations on POTD with this humorous poem Nina! I didn't realize how many of our words were different than yours until I started writing poetry and reading poetry from others residing in different countries. A fun and clever POTD! : )
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 4:59:00 PM
Thank you Connie! PS is a definite cultural eye-opener! :-)
Date: 10/19/2018 1:04:00 PM
Very well written.... Many congrats on POTD
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 4:57:00 PM
Thank you Ashok!
Date: 10/19/2018 12:20:00 PM
I fint thes poim intriquing.
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 1:02:00 PM
It reelly is moast ennigmattick isernt it? Thanks Quoth!
Date: 10/19/2018 11:58:00 AM
Great fun write Nina, really enjoyed this and good for our US friends to take it in good spirits. Congratulations on being POTD, well done. Gordon
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 1:01:00 PM
Thanks Gordon!
Date: 10/19/2018 9:53:00 AM
ha ha I love this, it's better than the rubbish that won yesterday and very humourous and witty, I wrote about it once called the uses and abuses of u, because they always leave u out lol I enjoyed this, congrats on POTD Nina, well deserved
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/20/2018 2:56:00 AM
Yes! The backwards dates on here drive me insane! The 4th October is actually the 10th April... aaaagh!!
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Nick Trim
Date: 10/19/2018 5:47:00 PM
intellectual ha ha, I forgot to mention they cant write the date either lol
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 1:00:00 PM
Thanks Nick! U must feel very left out! Well yesterday’s winner was a bit intellectual, so they obviously thought they needed something silly today...
Date: 10/19/2018 7:57:00 AM
Cheeky fun I love it! With u ;) Congratulations on POTD! xomo
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 12:57:00 PM
We like cheeky don’t we! Thanks Maureen!
Date: 10/19/2018 7:38:00 AM
Nina, back to congrats!!! on your POTD!...from a squeaky clean Canadian...love & cleanliness...^WW^
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 12:55:00 PM
Thanks ^WW^!
Date: 10/19/2018 7:34:00 AM
Well deserved POTD. Congratulations, Nina. ~Warren
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 12:45:00 PM
Thank you warren!
Date: 10/19/2018 7:08:00 AM
Hi Nina, congratulations on this humorous Poem Of the Day. Well deserved. Loved the fun content. Have a wonderful Friday. Hugs....Mike. XX
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 12:41:00 PM
Thanks Mike, glad you enjoyed the “humor”! ;-)
Date: 10/19/2018 6:14:00 AM
Well, cuzzin, we Americans are simply more expedient when it comes to saving time. Omitting the 'u' in many words is not a crime. Though the English can be 'haughty' without a sense of HUMOR, I would never think that of you. It's a fact and not a RUMOR. ;-) Another good potd!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 6:16:00 AM
Ah I love a poetic comment Lin, thank you! So glad you enjoyed the flavor (aaaagh!) of my poem!
Date: 10/19/2018 4:40:00 AM
- One must not forget that some people have difficulty with reading and writing (dyslexia), Nina - I see the humor in your writing, but maybe someone will be hurt anyway - Congratulations on p.o.t.d. :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Sunshine Smile
Date: 10/19/2018 6:48:00 AM
:)
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 5:12:00 AM
Thank you Anne-Lise - I did think twice about posting this as I didn’t want to offend, but I hoped people would take it in the spirit in which it was written - just to poke fun at both the differences in the 2 languages at also at the occasional haughtiness of the British! And I did have fun shoehorning in all those “differently spelt” words!
Date: 10/19/2018 3:31:00 AM
Many congrats on POTD Nina, its good to see folks take the poem with the humour it was intended:-) hugs Jan xx
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 5:20:00 AM
PS can’t believe this is POTD by the way... oh dear lol!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 5:17:00 AM
Well, they haven’t had time to get on a plane and give me a good slap yet lol! (I’ll take the slap. I probably deserve it for being so naughty...)
Date: 10/19/2018 3:19:00 AM
Whale doon on POTD. I'm shure dey won't take a fence lol. Tom.
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 3:24:00 AM
Having said that, I really can't handle "donut"!!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 3:23:00 AM
They're welcome to my fence - it's half rotten! Thanks Tom. Hopefully they won't or I shall be driven from the Soup! Their spelling's probably far more sensible than ours tbh - we just keep the extra letters to make it look like we're ever such clever dingdongs what all did Greek and Latin at school!
Date: 10/19/2018 3:12:00 AM
couldn't spell it out better, but if we criticize we are being oneuppers trying to be dominant ,a human trait the americans are so good at and as a young nation they are still learning
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 3:16:00 AM
Yeah, I’m just picking on the younguns! Hopefully most on here know me well enough to realise (realize) it’s all in jest :-)
Date: 10/18/2018 9:04:00 PM
Between my American friends who can't spell if their life depended on it and my British pals with poor personal hygiene...we Canadians look pretty darn good lol...lovely write Nina...perhaps our American buddies can watch, 'who's smarter than a 5'th grader'... love & brains...^WW^
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 10/19/2018 1:30:00 AM
Ah Canadians Canadians, so shiny and healthy and clean... Even your prime minister looks like he’s been crafted from specially selected genetic material...! Thanks WW! See you at the spelling bee (although don’t stand too close to me, I smell) ;-)
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