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Darkness Revisited :: decomposed - beto riginale's Blog

About beto riginale
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Ciao a tutti!
Welcome to my work and blog. Here are a few words about me.
        I was born and raised near Berkeley, California, and was introduced to the beatniks in North Beach by a high school friend in the late '50s. That is an event that influenced the rest of my life.
        I studied mathematics, philosophy, and German at university. By a quirk of fate, I became a computer scientist and website designer for most of my professional life. Since retirement, I have written poetry, essays, and translated German -> English and Spanish -> English. I write only free verse, haiku, and (some) prose poetry.

My favorite poets (in no particular order) :

Allen Ginsberg
Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Gertrude Stein
E. E. Cummings
William Carlos Williams
T. S. Eliot
Jack Kerouac
Alejandra Pizarnik
Charles Bukowski

Thank you for stopping by to read my work and blog.
Beto


Darkness Revisited :: decomposed

Blog Posted:1/17/2020 2:51:00 PM

If you have not yet read the poem referenced, please do so before continuing.

*        *        *

"Darkness Revisited - revision" is my third revision of this work initially written on 17 October 2019, revised on 5 December 2019, and again on 2 January 2020 (the version previously published on PoetrySoup.) It is my most complex work.

As is my wont, I wrote in free verse without punctuation. Had I written in prose poetry, it would have been a single sentence and looked like:

Some thinking, dark clothing, dark face, dark place, may   be, but more a seeing, a sensing, of life's realities, superficialities, aware to find deep meaning and singing the sight of light.

The structure of the poem is a quatrain consisting of two rhyming couplets followed by a non-rhyming intermediate couplet, repeated twice, and ends with a quatrain, again two rhyming couplets. The intermediary couplet forms a bridge from the preceding quatrain to that following. Due to the syllabification and lineation I use, the rhyming syllable (ing) of the first line of each quatrain is on the second line, which also forms an internal rhyme within the line. Therefore, the rhyming pattern of each quatrain is
AABB
and the syllabification of the poem in its entirety is:
2 4 2 2  2 2  2 4 6 6  2 2  2 4 2 2
where the second couplet in the second quatrain is longer (six syllables rather than two) than in the first and third quatrains. A second, possible, syllabication might be:
3 3 2 2  2 2  3 3 6 6  2 2  3 3 2 2
wherein the rhyming would be more obvious. However, I prefer the syllabication and lineation as written, since it gives greater emphasis to the ending of the first line (thinking, seeing, meaning) of each quatrain.

A reader may ask, why is "thinking" broken into "thin" and "king"? The reason is simple. The full text (in my mind) is:

Some thin [ (k) narrow-minded thoughts ]
king [ of themselves as above others ] dark...

As the reader proceeds to the intermediary couplet, perhaps the question arises, why is "maybe" written as "may  be"? Once again, (in my mind) the full text is:

[ those thoughts ] may   be [ true ]
but [ there is ] more...

I generally write poetry (possibly prose also) in a very curt style and leave out many clarifying words. Of course, that makes my work more challenging to understand, less lucid. But my goal is to raise questions in the reader's mind.

Thank you for reading. ~beto

Please Login to post a comment
Date: 1/17/2020 3:10:00 PM
Dang! And I thought the interpretation was thin king, ie, skinny king. You're such a puzzle beto
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riginale Avatar
beto riginale
Date: 1/17/2020 3:14:00 PM
jajaja - well I guess it is a thin king too (thin in the brain :-) ~beto

My Past Blog Posts

 
Darkness Revisited :: decomposed
Date Posted: 1/17/2020 2:51:00 PM
On Poetry :: Punctuation
Date Posted: 12/28/2019 4:29:00 PM
Have Some Fun
Date Posted: 12/16/2019 1:02:00 PM
PoetrySoup :: Using a Word Processor
Date Posted: 12/14/2019 1:21:00 PM
PoetrySoup :: Typography II
Date Posted: 12/12/2019 4:57:00 PM
bow hows decrypted
Date Posted: 12/10/2019 4:41:00 PM
PoetrySoup :: Typography I
Date Posted: 12/6/2019 6:11:00 PM
On Poetry :: How I Translate
Date Posted: 11/22/2019 5:08:00 PM
On Poetry :: Translation
Date Posted: 11/20/2019 3:39:00 PM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
1/30/2020 All Art is a Painting Free verseart,poetry,
1/28/2020 Something New Free versepoets,sad,
1/15/2020 Howard Street - 1948 Free verselife,social,
1/10/2020 Darkness Revisited - revision Coupletdark,hope,life,
1/5/2020 An Educated Man Free verseeducation,life,philosophy
1/3/2020 Darkness Revisited Free versedark,hope,life,
12/31/2019 b Free versei am,philosophy,
12/27/2019 Now Free verseintrospection,philosophy,
12/24/2019 A Question Free versedark,fear,hope,
12/20/2019 cogito ergo sum Free verseintrospection,philosophy,
12/17/2019 HAIKU :: 9 :: CHANGE Haikuallegory,change,
12/13/2019 Three O'clock in the Morning Free verseallegory,life,marriage,
12/8/2019 bow hows Shapelanguage,poetry,
12/7/2019 Unravelling Free verselanguage,philosophy,poetr
12/5/2019 Gazing Free verseallegory,life,
12/4/2019 Put your heart 'round me Free verseconflict,hope,peace,roman
12/2/2019 Fighting for Peace Free versepeace,war,
11/23/2019 Wuji :: Quietude Free versesymbolism,universe,
11/21/2019 The Box Free verseallegory,dark,death,depre
11/20/2019 The Infernal Serpent Free verseconflict,peace,
11/20/2019 HAIKU :: 8 :: SPARROWS Haikuimagery,nature,water,
11/19/2019 For Jack Free verseencouraging,freedom,hope,
11/19/2019 HAIKU :: 7 :: SUNRISE Haikuhope,imagery,peace,sun,
11/18/2019 Living into Peace Free verseanxiety,peace,philosophy,
11/18/2019 HAIKU :: 6 :: A TRILOGY Haikuencouraging,life,relation
11/17/2019 Night Silence Free verseallegory,dark,loneliness,
11/17/2019 HAIKU :: 5 :: COLORS Haikucolor,flower,hope,imagery
11/16/2019 HAIKU :: 4 :: SCARLET BIRD Haikuautumn,bird,imagery,life,
11/15/2019 HAIKU :: 3 :: LIFE Haikucolor,imagery,life,solitu
11/14/2019 HAIKU :: 2 :: AUTUMN Haikuimagery,nature,november,p
11/13/2019 HAIKU :: 1 :: GRIEF Haikudark,depression,grief,
11/9/2019 scream of silence Free verseallegory,dark,fear,night,
11/8/2019 the cave Free verseallegory,dark,hope,romanc
10/29/2019 Rain in Mexico Free verseallegory,color,hope,image
10/25/2019 Truth Free versedark,night,truth,
10/23/2019 The Blind Man Free versedark,political,satire,soc
10/15/2019 What to do Free versedark,peace,war,
10/11/2019 howl of despair Free versedark,depression,howl,loss

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