Does my PTSD gets in the way of my character by
Unknown and recognized faces in any situations to
neutralize my energy? Because of someone 's else
Pre judgments, forced opinions, making false
deliberate spoken assumptions with slandering, personal
attacts. My character Assassinations
My feelings seems If I'm trapped in someone's else box
of how I should verbalize or how one portray me as one
see fits. My Character Assassinations
If the tables were reversed how would the assassinators
feel? My Character Assassinations
I really must admit it took some time
It was not very easy
I finally gave myself the space to be finally free
Free to make my own decisions and live by my own consequences
I am free to express myself and verbalize what would have been well hidden sentences
I must admit I have more to conquer
I don't fear the challenge
I actually anticipate it
I never ran from a problem in life
Along with this freedom comes the reality
A disappearing act has become my strife
No one to hold me down or back
I can move across the board as I please
Just free
Ernestine
Miracle Man
10/23/2024
Dementia isn’t something
my loved one has chosen,
So I readily admit
that in patience I’m lacking.
It seems in a time zone
a memory has been frozen,
Repeating things daily
is quite nerve racking.
Things are lost daily,
and sometimes never found.
We no longer can agree
on a myriad of matters.
The smallest of things
are the easiest to confound,
I attempt to write
as my loved one chatters.
She hasn’t many thoughts
that she doesn’t verbalize.
But if starting life over
she’d still be my prize.
His radiant countenance
exudes vibrant thanksgiving
while cheering with jubilant glow…
yet, his lips couldn’t verbalize it.
So, here am I…
his Mom, in striving to talk about it
would rather poetically express
special child’s mirth of purity
upon learning that he is commended
for his achievement in his learning endeavor.
He was diagnosed with infantile spasm epilepsy
“to progress toward retrogression”
breaking my heart … 15 years ago…
Despite agonizing moments
along therapy sessions
he had emerged victorious…
Albeit angst in my motherhood days
his conquest helped me manage our partnership
propped by faith, marked with divine love…
Now, we are grateful to God
Who specializes in the impossible*
as he keeps on talking in sign language
about his delight for receiving a medal
while advancing fast with his wheel chair.
*Luke 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible.
July 5, 2024
1st place, "I couldn't talk about it, so I wrote a poem" Free Verse Poetry Writing Contest; Sponsored by Silent One; judged on 7/22/2024
Empathizing
Miracle Man
5/4/2024
We can’t feel some other’s pain but we can empathize,
we search our heart’s for comforting words to verbalize.
Pain we can’t feel,
To them, is so real,
their need is words of comfort, not someone to advise.
When she says on the bed , "
I am your strength my love."
She means to be with you
Till when death will come.
A woman who means
to be the strength
Of her husband
Is once in a blue moon
Because some women
can speak that to embolden
some men as long as
They are not sure
Of what they verbalize.
Don't put her down
As she meant to be
your strength.
Love her
As she loves you
And you will enjoy
The fruits of your labours.
June 28/2023
MY GOD SAYS dedicated to GOD IS SPEAKING MINISTRIES
Talk
say (anything/something)
utter
state
My God declares declare
tells
by His voice narrative natures choice
Pronounce articulate enunciate
Vocalize verbalize
Enounce My God says
o have a conversations
"Last time He spoke"
My God says have a conversation with His spirit
talk
My God says have a talk with Jesus
My God says have a discussion
Converse communicate His will His ways
Make conversation with His sounds
Chew the fat/rag His natures eats
My God said natter have a chinwag
Shoot the breeze MY Creator winds
Give a speech give a talk His righteousness walks
5/12/23
Written by James Edward Lee Sr. 2023©
When I said that a day was coming,
When I would cry no more tears,
Or even verbalize exactly how I was feeling;
I was sure it would come to pass,
Just like today, and would soon be past.
I expected it not to be longer,
Nevertheless, I remained patient towards it;
Took in all the insults and shame and hate,
To have myself preserved, for a better death.
This isn't about death,
It's about how I have maneuvered all this time,
What I did and what I needn't do again;
In my mistakes,I have earned lessons,
Good and bad-
And through my waiting,I have gotten the deliverance.
It is going to go away but not forever,
But it's not something that should keep me down,
When I can live with it till the years go into history.
What I can not change,I have adapted to live with-
And that's how life moves on.
I can never be a poet
Poems are supposed to rhyme they said
All I do is put emotions into words
Sometimes I verbalize what people feel
Whether it be happy or sad, confusion or pain
I can never be a poet
'Cause I write with my emotions, aiming for the uncomplicated
My only wish is that what I write might resonate, that it might empower, bring a little hope
I can never be a poet
That's a too heavy sash to carry
©10052022
As I stand mindfully, facing mirror of my life,
Juxtaposition of yesteryears’ reflections revive
Mountains of grief and valleys of despairs,
Heartwarming wins and heartbreaking losses,
Echoes strumming joy and shouts in the void;
Thinking of plans shelved, dreams deferred,
Tears of rejoice and bawl of lonesome cries,
Past of dawns darkening on nebulous skies,
Cheerful episodes evoking days of sunshine
Ambivalent in discourse of seasons gone by;
Distraught in endeavors strived, but failed,
Overjoyed in laudable, worthy achievements,
Saddened by the hollering of indelible regrets
Callously crowding the path of my ambitions
On avenues not taken, of choices forsaken,
Competing for space in the mirror of my life;
As memories euphoric verbalize photographs,
And stories euphonic stoke cherished laughs,
And celebrations clap the sound of applause,
Endearingly revered and treasured lifelong,
Where, as I cogitate, recalling a life sublime,
Man in the mirror smiles, content with his life.
May 7, 2022
Placed 3rd: In the Mirror of Life Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Anoucheka Gangabissoon
I stool before her ashamed;
Yet still embraced as I solemn proclaimed;
TOO SCARED TO SAY TO HER I LOVE YOU-
To just be a friend from the outside of my being;
While deep inside me I was crying, screaming for a love breathing;
That maybe, could never be for you see;
I didn't have it inside me;
TOO SCARED TO SAY TO HER I LOVE YOU-
To stand up tall and verbalize;
Inside my spirit my soul soars it cries;
Like a mother who lost her child through death
I just couldn't imagine, this woman before me;
TOO SCARED TO SAY TO HER I LOVE YOU-
My mind would say you wouldn't never be for me;
Maybe future tense when we're all together alone;
I tell her out loud verbally how I feel;
I love her with the love Christ;
Yet I'm afraid of her rejection and what comes with that;
TOO SCARED TO SAY TO HER I LOVE YOU-
1/31/2022
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2022©
Emblazoned down deep in my secret eyes,
choking on so intense a connection;
Thoughts I am unable to verbalize
rambling words are my only reaction;
Lingering symptom of this infection;
I have gotten used to breathing shallow
sweating shivering with energy flow;
Victim of all your sensuality;
Devilish virus masked with a halo
the hero of half written tragedies.
I dream of things that haunt my soul,
and in my bed I rock and roll;
as I fall in a dream keyhole,
fighting with a memory old.
And tears are falling from my eyes,
oh, all the pain and all the lies;
yet, I must forgive with deep sighs,
why could you not the truth verbalize.
Mom, you took secrets to your grave,
you had always told me- be brave;
before you left so much we forgave,
but this one sad secret you saved.
The baby never was adopted- was it Mom,
but died- a secret that hit me like a bomb !
With nothing on this stone that moans,
a secret lie- that is now but tiny bones !
_____________________
October 22, 2021
Poetry/Monorhyme/Secrets in My Tears
Copyright Protected, ID 22-1399-091-22
All Rights Reserved, 2021, Constance La France
One day i will be so clear
that everyone will sight me...
One day I will be so much further
pure that I will only be essence...
Essentially spirit!
One day I won't even have
smells or scents.. but
everyone will feel mine
emanations from remote...
One day I won't verbalize,
but everyone will discern me...
I will no formerly a man,
but a being of light !
PS suggestef song THE LIGHT by Donovan Leitch
https://youtu.be/wa5u2KuYN_k
I am in a hypnotic TRANCELIKE state, but not a dream.
The pain went away and became a SURREAL discovery.
In these HAZY times, my heart swelled with esteem.
I was in a DREAMLIKE inspired by the natural recovery.
I tumble faint pain, staring at the ETHEREAL paradise.
A yellow dwarf in the SHADOWY flow by a focal spot.
Responsibility outlines our reality until we verbalize.
An overzealous ego caused the IMAGINARY threat.
Hallucinations versus UNREAL degrade over time.
Even though I'm stuck on my bed, afraid of the cold.
A girl using a wet, fluffy towel wiped my tears slime.
I'm so centered today that I can't let my eyes behold.
Dispose of all else, and aid will arise as required.
As I flee earth ties, my vitality and skill grow.
It makes me feel refreshed in my mind.
Spooky areas that reflect the spirits undergo.
Now I'm feeling pretty optimistic and trusting.
My life is back to being fun and lovely subdue.
The natural day is peaceful and hardly reproving
Simply, it's because I was in love with you.
Third place contest winner
Written: May 24, 2021
Writing Prompt - Dreamlike - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Constance La France
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