People love to say,
"I have trust issues."
Like it's a confession.
Like it's a character flaw.
Like it's something we're supposed to apologize for
before anyone gets close enough to see it.
And for years,
that's what I called mine too.
Trust issues.
As if trust was the thing that broke.
As if I came into this world
with my arms crossed,
my walls up,
and suspicion stitched into my skin.
But that's not my story.
My story is that I trusted.
God, did I trust.
I trusted people with the softest parts of me.
The parts I hadn't even learned how to hold myself.
I believed promises
because I wanted to believe people.
I believed "forever."
I believed "I've got you."
I believed "I'd never do that to you."
I believed words
because I hadn't yet learned
that some people speak in comfort,
not truth.
And every time someone broke that trust,
they left carrying only the pieces they needed.
The endless possibilities/
Of trust issues begin with only/
One trust to be broken or betrayed/
Promises made, confessions of love/
Relationships gone wrong/
One seed of deceit/
Grows into a tree of hate/
Eyes only seeing deception/
That may or may not be there/
Trust alone can make one/
Believe in forever/
And love will prevail above all/
One misdeed, a broken promise/
So many false words/
Covered with a silver tongue/
A hint of doubt/
One action big or small/
Makes no difference/
Given a chance, it will consume thoughts/
Dominating the ability to think/
Straight, causing wrecks/
Of every kind/
Something that hangs in the/
Balance of our life/
In this life or death/
Trust issues will either/
Make you or break you/
Why can’t I just be honest?
Why is it so hard to tell you?
I’m more terrified of rejection
Then being left in the dark.
Why am I having trouble
To trust you and your intentions?
Am I getting too paranoid
Or should I trust my gut this time?
Cause when I mess up with you
I always keep blaming myself.
Whenever I think there’s problems
I always think I’m the one in trouble
Your reassurance is what I thought I needed
But I’m relying on your approval too much.
The dynamic in our relationship
Outweighs the balance on a scale
I’m not sure how this relationship will end
If it keeps moving like this, it’s gonna crash
And I’m tired of being left in the smoke
Broken promises
loss of faith in my partner
emptiness in heart
Trust issues,
restrained heart
left frightened;
Believing
is so hard;
Aberrant;
Could someone
just love me
without cause?
I
Faith is a safe place in the Universe
II
Science & politics mock childlike faith
III
Parents, politics say: trust me, I know!
I don't trust anyone!
I feel left out!
They hiss on the corners,
Beg for a dollar
Looking for rolling papers
Pipes hidden in dirty pockets
Ninjas who don't bring the change!
When l shut my eyes , l see no one but me for l don't need you to tell me how to be!
I preach for peace , l say let it be...
The world my oyster but the ozone got the gods blinded.
A son of man on the street in sheep's skin running from hyenas... physic vampires , arsonists with forked tongues
Who can l trust?
I am a girl who is a little clingy
I will accept it
I am because of people who have left before
I don't want to lose anyone else
So I hold on for dear life to make sure they are happy
But it comes off as me being needy
I am not just scared
If I cling to you I am afraid to lose you
I feel like you leave
I will cling to you but won't trust you
Because of things, others have done
Lying
Pretending to be my friend
When instead they are just around
To ruin my reputation
To make my life terrible
To beat me down lower than I already was
So I am sorry for being clingy
For not trusting
But I can't help it
Because others hurt me so badly
That my heart is so broken
It is impossible to back the pieces
It's no secret that I've got trust issues,
Constantly drying my eyes with tissues,
Always expecting the worst from guys,
Cause all I've ever gotten were lies,
I can be the perfect girl and still I lose,
Cause it's always someone else they choose,
So with every new guy I bring my past,
That must be the reason we never last,
But trusting guys is the hardest thing for me,
When every time its the same **** I see,
Sneaking around like they got something to hide,
Never checking their phone when I'm by their side,
Talking to other girls about our relationship,
Then turning it around on me when I trip,
I tell them something is bothering me bad,
They say I'm crazy and then they get mad,
I've seen the same things from every single guy,
Every word out of their mouth is a big fat lie,
So yeah it's no secret that I have trust issues,
And I'll continue drying my eyes with tissues,
Cause there's probably no good guys out there,
Only players and assholes who will never care.
02-03-2018
I know you think you got away with it, I know you do.... Let me just tell you now "I'm on to you!".
The lies you have fed me, the stories you have spun.
We'll look at them now, they are all coming undone!.
The secrets the lies they were always there.
I'm leaving you now, so you better prepare!.
Prepare to be without me and i will prepare to be without you!.
The fake projection of our life has run it's course and now is through!.
I knew something was wrong and I knew it wasn't me.
Now it's all out in the open, and I can finally be free!.
I wasted my youth with you, I can never get that back!.
But I won't waste another second on you... I'm getting my life back!
Karma is a *****, and I know you will see it some day..
I'm saying goodbye now, I'm only going one way...
i rub her back as she sobs in my lap.
"i never knew i could feel so much pain."
"I know, i know. everything is going to be okay."
i repeat this over and over in her ear,
and she simply nods her head.
i want to believe what i say, but i know i'm just being vague.
things won't be okay, they're not going to get easier,
before long, you just become numb to the pain.
Trust Issues
Lovers trust,
While devils lust,
But it's so serpently,
The way you hiss,
In a choked up bliss,
As you slither away from me.
You're left with no eyes,
Left with no tongue,
Left with no legs,
With which to run.
One more slice,
Your movements entice,
One more slit,
And a ruby-red drip.
You're left with no arms,
Left with no ears,
Trapped in your mind,
A prison of fear.
No more regrets,
No more lies,
One last kiss,
To this world goodbye,
Your sanity drips,
From your fingertips,
You give into sleep,
Your soul, mine to keep.
Every breath you take,
I let you take,
And your breathing is in key,
With the strings I pull,
your eyes go dull,
As you pass, so peacefully.
And now this curse is mine,
I can't stop,
because it's so divine.
I seek blood,
and all the flesh I see,
Is just a playground,
for every fantasy.
I wreak havoc,
and I lust for death,
The smell of her skin,
still on my breath.
And when the morning,
Finally arrives,
I'll quench my thirst,
with unsuspecting lives.
At times it feels like the world is out to get her. Sometimes it seems like no one is on her side. She has been left by her father. Been told she's fat by her grandmother. Nothing she ever does pleases her mother. She has been cheated on and lied to by most past boyfriends...take that back. ALL past boyfriends. Older guys look at her with wondering eyes. Everyone tells her hello...but they also say goodbye.
She's finally tired of being told a handful of lies. She's tired of hearing the same ole goodbyes. She's tired of betrayal and constant hurt feelings. She's tires of thinking she's not good enough for the sexiest guy to be with. She's tired of meaningless "I love you"s. She's tired of these damn trust issues.
I rather hear the truth then a lie
something so deep that could make
me say goodbye
living for today as if we have no
tommrow I guess my heart you still
cant borrow
I wont someone whos hear for me
as if tommrow is something we cant
see
Theres no I an me or you because of
the things my heart is afraid to do
#TrustIssue
She says quietly to her dad
"Be kind, I'm being loved by someone
Let him
Its a good feeling
One everyone should experience"
He blinked
He says
"I know love
I've seen love
All sorts of it
I can't say that's anything close to it
Maybe you should let go "
She cries
She unconsciously wrote somewhere
In her head
To trust daddy
He would know better
But her heart fought all of that
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