Long Trust issues Poems
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Now before we take this relationship
any further or take another step
I gotta get something off my chest.
I gotta confess
threw all the anticipation
of me & you meeting face to face
I already put forth that dedication
love and everything else
truthfully I'm liking the cards I was dealt
and the way you make my heart melt.
But note to self we gotta take this time
to get a little more deeper
now you might think I'm a keeper
but I kinda got trust issues because
A lot of females tried to put
my heart in the sleeper.
threw the years I became a lot sweeter
but I also dealt with a lot of emotional heat
time is money and most of these females is so cheap
love is so weak, it ain't what it used to be
now maybe my problem is I open up so freely
but I'm telling you,
you'll never meet another nigga like me.
You see I had to confess this
for the simple fact I'm so gifted
& I been broke down with
heart brakes so I could be uplifted.
The only thing I'm missing is a good woman
but since I can't find love
I ain't really looking.
So no matter what we might go threw
I need you to keep on pushing
People love to say,
"I have trust issues."
Like it's a confession.
Like it's a character flaw.
Like it's something we're supposed to apologize for
before anyone gets close enough to see it.
And for years,
that's what I called mine too.
Trust issues.
As if trust was the thing that broke.
As if I came into this world
with my arms crossed,
my walls up,
and suspicion stitched into my skin.
But that's not my story.
My story is that I trusted.
God, did I trust.
I trusted people with the softest parts of me.
The parts I hadn't even learned how to hold myself.
I believed promises
because I wanted to believe people.
I believed "forever."
I believed "I've got you."
I believed "I'd never do that to you."
I believed words
because I hadn't yet learned
that some people speak in comfort,
not truth.
And every time someone broke that trust,
they left carrying only the pieces they needed.
This is their moment
Place on your makeup and let us begin
Cast the shadows of deceit with a grin
Curtain calls and the show begins
The world is their stage, action consumes.
Warm hugs and I love you’s
Serene and pristine,
O, look how they are giving their all to you.
We are one they proudly say
but your hand is the one bent like clay
at the expense of putting on this charade.
You comforted them for their loss
Though their arms were folded when you lost your heart
I did my all, and I've given my best
I made them who they are, o how I'm blessed
How perfect
how right
how just
These lines read with sureness and might
Bravo
Bravo
how deep shall this go
Your fate lurks in the darkest corners
There you will find your:
Trauma responses
Fight or flight
Trust issues that sing aloud
Worthless, characters,
Keep your makeup up on
The show is not done.
The script is read, how dramatic indeed
Her part is played with vigor and feist.
With the roll of a dice, all are against her
but the sword welded came from her
Nameless game,
Adjectives should do
here let me spell it out for you
Weak,
Smug,
pathetic,
Delusional
you're no longer you, but what they think of you
This house is their stage, let the act begin
A wonderful family they say.
as they step over the sharp edges of bloodied mirrors
that scatter on the inside of our feeble bodies.
That mercilessly cut at our heels, we are forever
nails against chalkboards that go unnoticed
We are the thousand shallow graves that were dug without names
O how we give and give
and they take and take
Justify, manipulate, and cast the blame.
You've taken their hits,
Felt their pain,
comforted their sorrows
but what have you gained
Fake appreciations,
Blind assumptions
Degraded and in pain
Serpents venom spat
back at you.
If hate were a color this world
would not be blue
But only if they knew
that dancing among the rain, to hide our tears
The red was never from allergies
Curtains go down
applaud,
smile,
Encore
Encore
The Oscar for best pretender goes to...
YOU
Will You
=====000=====
Will You?
Will you walk with me?
I’m not looking for marriage
Past loves left me so lonely
This pain – I come with baggage
Will you talk to me?
For you erase my sadness
Your counsel helps so much, you see
Without you, I fall to madness
Will you accept me?
Trust issues I tote along
I have fears of what’s to be
But I vow I’ll not do you wrong
By:Carolyn Devonshire
================000===============
Carloyn Devonshire.One of the brightest stars of this site.A poet with a big heart.
And she bares it in her poetry.Very few poets do so.I remember when I joined this
site she always used to encourage me with her inspiring words.That time I felt my poetry pages were incomplete without her comments.She is one of those who
helped me to grow as a poet.In reply to her questions in the above poem,I would
say-- YES CAROLYN, I WILL!!!
Receiving your heartfelt kisses,
The only moments in which my stubborn loneliness seizes.
For a while we were galaxies apart,
Missing your body, the best work of art.
Mi Amor, the flower I needed;
Through your sweet aroma, my trust issues defeated.
Cause you hold on to me as if I'm falling off a cliff, 24/7.
As you offer a helping hand, an angel of heaven.
They say love is blind, mi amor.
Your essence is the cure,
Opening my eyes to its truest expression.
Without utterance, your persona itself a love confession.
Mi Amor, it's my heart you won.
Hold on to you as I feel my trauma burn.
Chose my designated rose.
So loving is something I re-learn,
All because of mi amor.
Man is said to be made in the image of God,
More,
He remains a God,
Fallen in his own sins,
Fallen, but well aware of his superiority
Over everything else
In a meaningless world!
But then,
If God, be like Man,
If God, carries on his arm,
A wife,
It becomes a sin
To think of God’s wife
As a battered woman,
As cheated upon,
Treated as second choice,
Meant to be kept on a shelf
For when she would be needed!
Pray,
If God complements his crown with a wife,
It becomes blasphemous
To think
That she is one who would have trust issues,
Be suicidal, need therapy
Cry all alone
While pretending to be fine in the divine society!
Why,
God, as husband,
Would listen to her,
Respect her, laud her,
Be proud of her
And would trust her
In any given circumstances!
More,
He would talk to her,
Ask her to explain of her actions,
Or of stuff which would seem
Confusing to Him!
He would treat her as His equal
As He would know, for sure,
That she remains His inner power,
Without whom He would exist not!
And if Man be made in the image of God,
Or, if he remains one deep down at heart,
Why is it that he behaves not as such
Here,
On Earth?
I'm fragile
I'm transparent
Even though I act the opposite
I'm sorry
I know it doesn't mean much
But from the bottom of my heart, I wish I could have reached the top shelf for you
But I was only a boy trying to act like a man
Playing with your heart because I'm just trying to fill mine
Selfishness, sexual sin, just trying to fit in
I wanted comfort and got comfortable with you
Trust issues because I don't know how to be vulnerable
Not willing to open up but I will be selfish enough
To open up your flowers just to pick one
That floral print emotionally tattooed to my body
When all I needed was acceptance
Moving against what I know is right
Controlled by the devil's hand
Telling myself I'm the man
Under the influence but that's no excuse
I still choose to abuse the truth
I will never put my hands on a woman, but I still abused you
I'm broken
I'm weak
Even though I'm daily trying to work out the kinks
I'm sorry
I know this doesn't erase your tears that I watered
But I hope you can see that I'm doing better
Not just for me but for all men
I'm trying to leave a legacy
Women a man will show you his intentions
So, if you're fighting for his attention
That boy is still sitting in detention
Acting like the way he is living has tension
God is the only one that can change a heart
And he won't redirect himself until he attacks
His bad habits
You can see his potential but only he can grow
When a man decides to be a man, he moves different
His words hit different
His actions won't have you trying to figure out the next move
Boys play with toys and Men play with goals
Not to say a man can't be a big kid, the difference is his time is delegated
Yes, I am him who has messed up in ways that can't be forgiven
But we have a God who loves unconditionally
That's what he is giving
So, I can say today I'm a man moving behind God's hand and not my own pride
p.s. I'm dressing up my life for the grammys...
Content flaunt it the talent that you embrace
Mentioned constant viaducts submerged in Grace
Waterboarding terroristic threats no trust
Humanitarian sinful choice of lust
Issues of trust
Who you going to trust
How you going to look up
When all you do is look down
And when you smile it's a frown
Issues of trust
Contour it electric a surge of power
Take take take take all the seconds minutes turn hours
Mention constant viaducts submerged in Grace
Content flaunted the talent that you waste
What's going on
Who's really wrong
When you smile it's a frown
Because all you ever do is look down
Issues of trust
Cheer up rise up repent you're wrongs
Embrace the love of Jesus in case in His freedoms
Rejoice rejoice in the love of God
as the people say who you going to trust
All is not lost
This you must know in Him you trust
Believe and receive in God and Jesus
For in Christ there's no trust issues
10/1/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2020
I'm grieving...in dis crazy world lies death & deceit
its discreet so I'm not amazed who isn't aware of these truths.
nowadays we can't tell who's being honest, some call it broken promises
...why their heart turned cold and they developed trust issues
when someone didnt make good on their word, perfection...
is so unheard of but that's almost what we expect.
so what happens when someone slips up, it feels like bullets
rippin threw ligaments & tissue its a dead issue
trying to make good on everything you say, yeah dat is kinda cliche.
At the beginning it is sweet, courtship and thoughts
of that man or woman that will sweep us off our feet
but no one & nothin prepares us for the half truths & dishonesty...
nothin is promised nowadays so people trust their instincts
and go off on past experiences learning from the decisions they make
I use to despise those who let this world get the best of them but I sympathize yeah I can
relate,
so threw it all that is unknown difference is I chose to walk by faith.
From the beginning I was your inspiration to see,
And in no prideful way did I take it personally,
You kept my heart hidden again and again,
And I could never understand why.. not now nor then,
But believe it or not, I didn't mind,
Because you could never take what was already mine,
My thoughts, my emotions, my reasoning to see,
And all that life has taught me that makes me me,
And I was never greedy to share my heart with you,
Because many people hold back due to trust issues,
And not only that... I've seen them hoard their knowledge and life lessons,
Like it's a prize their heart attained and molds their very existence,
Like if they were to give it away..it would deplete who they are,
It their well kept secrets that actually keep them in the dark,
Without explanation they believe it's their own,
But in all actuality that much is meant to be shown,
The hearts given nature, the exchanges and refills,
Are part of moving forward so we're not stuck in still,
Still is momentarily and essential yet not all the time,
Sharing our hearts elevates the love in our lives,
It takes us further than what we knew before,
And every amount we give God always restored,
Let's just be truthful, it was never ours from the door,
It's not a shield of protection, or an image you hoard,
Unless you want to stagnant and stay right where your at,
Believing it belongs to you to keep your image intact,
Which shows you time and time again those chaines that bind,
Why you would even want such foolishness blows my mind,
Always think of your intentions behind what you hold back,
Because it can trick you into believing your protecting where your at.