Long Trust issues Poems
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Content flaunt it the talent that you embrace
Mentioned constant viaducts submerged in Grace
Waterboarding terroristic threats no trust
Humanitarian sinful choice of lust
Issues of trust
Who you going to trust
How you going to look up
When all you do is look down
And when you smile it's a frown
Issues of trust
Contour it electric a surge of power
Take take take take all the seconds minutes turn hours
Mention constant viaducts submerged in Grace
Content flaunted the talent that you waste
What's going on
Who's really wrong
When you smile it's a frown
Because all you ever do is look down
Issues of trust
Cheer up rise up repent you're wrongs
Embrace the love of Jesus in case in His freedoms
Rejoice rejoice in the love of God
as the people say who you going to trust
All is not lost
This you must know in Him you trust
Believe and receive in God and Jesus
For in Christ there's no trust issues
10/1/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2020
This is their moment
Place on your makeup and let us begin
Cast the shadows of deceit with a grin
Curtain calls and the show begins
The world is their stage, action consumes.
Warm hugs and I love you’s
Serene and pristine,
O, look how they are giving their all to you.
We are one they proudly say
but your hand is the one bent like clay
at the expense of putting on this charade.
You comforted them for their loss
Though their arms were folded when you lost your heart
I did my all, and I've given my best
I made them who they are, o how I'm blessed
How perfect
how right
how just
These lines read with sureness and might
Bravo
Bravo
how deep shall this go
Your fate lurks in the darkest corners
There you will find your:
Trauma responses
Fight or flight
Trust issues that sing aloud
Worthless, characters,
Keep your makeup up on
The show is not done.
The script is read, how dramatic indeed
Her part is played with vigor and feist.
With the roll of a dice, all are against her
but the sword welded came from her
Nameless game,
Adjectives should do
here let me spell it out for you
Weak,
Smug,
pathetic,
Delusional
you're no longer you, but what they think of you
This house is their stage, let the act begin
A wonderful family they say.
as they step over the sharp edges of bloodied mirrors
that scatter on the inside of our feeble bodies.
That mercilessly cut at our heels, we are forever
nails against chalkboards that go unnoticed
We are the thousand shallow graves that were dug without names
O how we give and give
and they take and take
Justify, manipulate, and cast the blame.
You've taken their hits,
Felt their pain,
comforted their sorrows
but what have you gained
Fake appreciations,
Blind assumptions
Degraded and in pain
Serpents venom spat
back at you.
If hate were a color this world
would not be blue
But only if they knew
that dancing among the rain, to hide our tears
The red was never from allergies
Curtains go down
applaud,
smile,
Encore
Encore
The Oscar for best pretender goes to...
YOU
Can you love me like you do again?
I am gonna leave vengeance to God
Because enemies strike me down
I just sit there and I hopelessly nod
I’ll give you the crown and the spotlight…
I will just wear a smiling mask in this Masquerade Party
I quietly say with gritted teeth:
God’s Kingdom Come…
Anger and resentment were my neighbors
Envy and darkness were my cuddle buddies
I’m sorry…I’m sorry…
But, at the same time, I’m not
Why is it when I do something wrong,
It feels right like a lovebird’s song?
I lost my temper
Because I have trust issues
My future’s a mighty blur
What about you try on my shoes?
Try on my shoes
Try on my shoes
Just do it
“Hell no”
Why are you throwing a fit?
I’m fallin’ apart bit by bit
I pray to God that I forgive and forget…although…
Nevermind…it doesn’t matter…
All I did was flatter
You…
I’m sorry, God,
I’ll make it up to You
I promise…
Heaven’s yes – I love Your Word
Though I was drifting away like a lonesome bird,
Caught in the Californian weather – the sunny and chilly put together…
The sun and the wind is a good brew to make me feel so much better
My house is open to my friends, family and fans
I’m as fired-up as the back of billion pans
While the heat was way up…
Hell no – I still love my BF – that’s what’s up…
I was a liar…
and I have desire
that feeds the fire
we all sin from time and time again
Where have you been, Ben?
Ben is my imaginary friend
‘Til the very end
Butterflies flutter their wings
From on high, I wave my “hi” and “goodbye”
Waiting for what Spring brings –
Winter frost melts and I am less shy…
Because You melted away my icy heart
I smile ear to ear
My heart is filled with cheer
Thank you
Thank you
Thank You
Thank You
For everything…
Because I feel better than zero
I’m not nothing
Hell no – I’m no leader or hero
I am a girl who is a little clingy
I will accept it
I am because of people who have left before
I don't want to lose anyone else
So I hold on for dear life to make sure they are happy
But it comes off as me being needy
I am not just scared
If I cling to you I am afraid to lose you
I feel like you leave
I will cling to you but won't trust you
Because of things, others have done
Lying
Pretending to be my friend
When instead they are just around
To ruin my reputation
To make my life terrible
To beat me down lower than I already was
So I am sorry for being clingy
For not trusting
But I can't help it
Because others hurt me so badly
That my heart is so broken
It is impossible to back the pieces
This is their moment
Place on your makeup and let us begin
Cast the shadows of deceit with a grin
Curtain calls and the show begins
The world is their stage, action consumes.
Warm hugs and I love you’s
Serene and pristine,
O, look how they are giving their all to you.
We are one they proudly say
but your hand is the one bent like clay
at the expense of putting on this charade.
You comforted them for their loss
Though their arms were folded when you lost your heart
I did my all, and I've given my best
I made them who they are, o how I'm blessed
How perfect
how right
how just
These lines read with sureness and might
Bravo
Bravo
how deep shall this go
Your fate lurks in the darkest corners
There you will find your:
Trauma responses
Fight or flight
Trust issues that sing aloud
Worthless, characters,
Keep your makeup up on
The show is not done.
The script is read, how dramatic indeed
Her part is played with vigor and feist.
With the roll of a dice, all are against her
but the sword welded came from her
Nameless game,
Adjectives should do
here let me spell it out for you
Weak,
Smug,
pathetic,
Delusional
you're no longer you, but what they think of you
This house is their stage, let the act begin
A wonderful family they say.
as they step over the sharp edges of bloodied mirrors
that scatter on the inside of our feeble bodies.
That mercilessly cut at our heels, we are forever
nails against chalkboards that go unnoticed
We are the thousand shallow graves that were dug without names
O how we give and give
and they take and take
Justify, manipulate, and cast the blame.
You've taken their hits,
Felt their pain,
comforted their sorrows
but what have you gained
Fake appreciations,
Blind assumptions
Degraded and in pain
Serpents venom spat
back at you.
If hate were a color this world
would not be blue
But only if they knew
that dancing among the rain, to hide our tears
The red was never from allergies
Curtains go down
applaud,
smile,
Encore
Encore
The Oscar for best pretender goes to...
YOU
You make it seem like it's all worth it.
A divine soul mixed with a culprit.
Like I really want to give you my all but can I trust you to hold it?
Vulnerability.
That is my entity,
but finding who I am is like an intense game of hide and seek.
You see there is a deep soul that resides in me,
like a lost child looking for a home.
So misguided and deceived by all the lies that were received all because they ran smoothly together like the lines of a perfect poem.
Picture perfect; that's what my life may seem on the outside looking in.
Never really had any trouble with peer pressure or trying to fit in.
But there was always more than what others could see.
A troubled mind shaded with blinds that blocked out all hope there was to believe.
Trust issues trickled down through the branches of a family tree.
So you tell me.
Who can I run to?
When every issue is greeted with a tissue
"I love you's" and we wish you the best.
With no time to invest..
So I learned not to feel.
Like a seed covered in dirt needing water to grow and heal.
A heart with so much love to give but pushing away everything real.
But I attest, I really do try my best to break down these boulders.
Mind and heart cluttered with memories, I'm starting to feel like a hoarder.
But I gain a sense of composure as I write these words.
Poetry always had a way of making me feel as though my voice could be heard.
And so I write.
And through these words I heal.
Like a love that's come along that show's me it is okay to feel.
And for once my heart, body and soul are at ease.
It is like ones greatest joy to finally be at peace.
Form:
I saw those red flags waving.
I should have run away.
But then he smiled, I was beguiled,
and so I thought I'd stay.
The warning bells inside my head,
I paid them all no heed
and chose my path to follow his
wherever it might lead.
I heard the whispers behind my back.
I caught him in his lies.
His silver tongue convinced me that
I shouldn't believe my own eyes.
I wanted him to be true.
Though it could never be.
There were red flags everywhere.
I was just too blind to see.
Now he's gone and I'm alone
with trust issues galore.
So now with a flutter of the smallest red flag,
I run right for that door.
10/11/2023
Trauma
It is something not a lot of people can empathize with. It is as if it was the victim's fault for turning out like this. The victims' fault for letting their fragile hearts get shattered into a million pieces, unsure of which one to follow. Their fault their soul was cracked like the screen protector on their phones. Their fault their mental health is gasping for a breath of fresh air, turning purple by the second, drowning in their own self-despair. Drowning in the love they wish to receive but “who could love broken me” is always thought of because love is something only seen in dreams to broken beings. Love is a foreign concept, only seen in rom-coms that are idolized. Teaching us to never settle for less but, then trauma grabs our necks and chokes us till we’re gasping and grasping at anything we can get. Settling for anything in fear of what will happen if we wish, because hopes and dreams are only seen being achieved on TV. So our traumatic testing starts. Searching for events that leave you scarred… Check! Trust issues and broken heart… Check! Never being able to know your worth… Check! But the problem with this constant traumatic testing is that it keeps us guessing. Why do we need the lesson on how to live when the world won’t change, even if we are locked in a cage of a jest that complicates the next lest we betray the best? But let me guess. You think trauma is fake. “You are a teen, what do you have to be anxious about? All you have to deal with is school. Just wait until you're in the real world” They say this to belittle our struggles when they monopolize on our failures and betray our self-worth.
Tripping over stones of the past
Want to kick them aside
Ascend on a completing smooth path
Standing tall want to run free
All these years seem so distant
Every person cast aside
Do to all my trust issues
I back away did then so many years ago
Still do today
Can't figure out this puzzle called love
It's constant strain
I think way too much
Won't let things flow
Need to be in control
But that's an impossible task
You see love has no instruction
No blue print
No absolute plan
It's a gamble
The odds seem stacked
The other dealers always seem to win
It's a gut reaction a jump with no parachute
It's standing at the edge of a cliff staring down at all your regrets
That demon he is right there ready to push you off
Bur if love was meant to be easy then it would not be cherished as it is
Would not last would not be able to break through all your defenses
We tend to push it all away because the gravity is too much
It's hard to breath hard to speak the words
To take any little connection and try to build on it
Makes it so difficult so strange so undeniable
Oh the senses it reaches the visions you see
It's the promise the declaration that we are wanted needed felt It's hard to put into words
What kind of love we all are searching for
But let me just say I am more ready and willing then ever before.
I am finally comfortable in my own skin I am ready to embrace whatever love has to offer.
Will You
=====000=====
Will You?
Will you walk with me?
I’m not looking for marriage
Past loves left me so lonely
This pain – I come with baggage
Will you talk to me?
For you erase my sadness
Your counsel helps so much, you see
Without you, I fall to madness
Will you accept me?
Trust issues I tote along
I have fears of what’s to be
But I vow I’ll not do you wrong
By:Carolyn Devonshire
================000===============
Carloyn Devonshire.One of the brightest stars of this site.A poet with a big heart.
And she bares it in her poetry.Very few poets do so.I remember when I joined this
site she always used to encourage me with her inspiring words.That time I felt my poetry pages were incomplete without her comments.She is one of those who
helped me to grow as a poet.In reply to her questions in the above poem,I would
say-- YES CAROLYN, I WILL!!!