Toilets Poems | Examples


Hypocritical Eyes

Who are you
Question asks daily,  
 Some people want to know
More about you, 

You look so meager in their bogus eyes, 
You don't possess what they have 
But your presence  continue 
giving them sleepless night. 
Hating you due to 
   What you don't see
           "Huuh!"

They are copying everything you do 
And continue to ask themselves 
Who does  he " she" think he " she"  is? 
 "Heeh! Gloomy ... 
In your hypocritical eyes"

Your  secret identity 
                          terrify them
                            daily 
How could they  be 
  if you had what  they have? 
Yooh! they  could throw themselves 
in their bins and septic tanks. 
  " Death could be their daily songs" 

You are gifted,
  Just be greatful to God,
 for  His gifts in you, 
      Seen and known by many people. 

Written 11/2024
By Alfonso Warally Ngengethe Mussabwa Chris

Pigs

I
Decades in America changed me
Yes, piglets are cute, obese ones not!
America regulates farming,  pets, husbandry 
People of color, here, practice pig-cleaning:
Pigs eat human feces; toilets are rude
And no toilet skills are taught
The public schools say, Kids can't use
Toilets right, so buildings stink, fail
(In my township, as in schools, feces flow
as thick sludge where feet & wheels go)
African owned cows walk the streets too

II
Pigs pass my fenced cottage (I rent)
I send them off with rock and stone
A neighbor said, "Don't kill them."
I said, "I'm sending them home; 
They don't belong here, near me."
But I like goats & cows near my fence!
This is my missionary work - on defence:
But sharing in this township Jesus sent 
Me (as "apostolos") to evangelize
I am making some headway with kids
Only because Holy Spirit leads us
(Wendy and me; she gave up pork
Two years ago; we strive for kosher)
Lazy lives: LORD, prevent us living so

Premium Member Toilets In Heaven

I’m a special plumber
and I get the strangest requests…
Heaven called for toilet overflows,
This is real, not a game of chess.

You see, I’m also an angel 
with keys to the pearly gates.
Let me grab my holy plunger,
I may need to increase my rate!

Oh boy, it is the bigboy's stall today.

Plunge! Plunge! Plunge!

My lord, what did you eat?!?


Thursday, October 21, 2021
The Throne in Heaven Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Jack Webster


No Toilets In Heaven

There are no toilets up in Heaven, so I was told
Righteous are the perfect sheep in God's Holy fold
They no longer have the need to pee or drop a turd.
That's based on the information I recently heard.

But since I've had more time to ponder the thought,
what if rumblings of thunder are the echoes of a fart?
Body waste would fall from Heaven on you and me.
Quite a perplexing problem for us. Do you agree?

Earth would be a toxic cesspool, if that were so
and down, down, down, the flushes would flow.
We'd have constant need of a massive sump pump
to remove the stinky caca when angels take a dump. 

Sitting on a throne is not the way I picture the divine.
God would never allow such a vile plumbing design.
He'd not pollute the planet he created for mankind.
No overflowing toilets in Heaven will you ever find.


October 7, 2021
The Throne in Heaven Contest
Sponsor: Jack Webster
********************

Premium Member Police Toilets Stolen

Here's a strange sign, causing quite a sensation
“Police Toilets Stolen... they have nothing to go on”
Motto said nothing could stump em
Guest some things are beyond them
Now what will they do, maybe pee on the autobahn?

Premium Member Elephant Guests Break Your Toilets

Elephant guests break your toilets.
But their trunks are dope!
They wiggle through the hallways.
Squeezing through with oodles of hope.

By the time they decide to leave
You will wonder how you’ll cope.
Not caring your toilets are broken
Because elephants are dope!

One last thing to mention
Is that they steal all of the soap.
They like taking it to tease the monkeys.
But that should not make you mope.


Premium Member Police Toilets Stolen

Here's a strange sign, causing quite a sensation
“Police Toilets Stolen... they have nothing to go on”
Motto said nothing could stump em
Guest some things are beyond them
Now what will they do, maybe pee on the autobahn?

There's Never Any Toilets When You Really Need To Go

Miles and miles from Services,
and waiting for a tow.
There's never any toilets when you really need to go!

?Listening to wedding vows,
or going for a hike.
At times you need the toilet when the moment isn't right.

?Your parachute won't open.
You're screaming 'No, no, no!'
(There's never any toilets when you really need to go!)

Stuttering on Dragon's Den,
or in a twitter fight,
(and beating Katie Hopkins), now the timing isn't right!

You meet the local gangster,
who wants the cash you owe.
(There's never any toilets when you really need to go!)

You have to give a sample
at the Doctor's, and you know -
There's far too many toilets when you really cannot go!

?

Premium Member Police Toilets Stolen

Here's a strange sign, causing quite a sensation
“Police Toilets Stolen... they have nothing to go on”
Motto said nothing could stump em
Guest some things are beyond them
Now what will they do, pee on the autobahn?

Premium Member No Toilets To Flush

We who remember outhouses
consider flushing toilets
the next thing to heaven.

Yet, we know, in heaven—
no need to search—
they do not exist.
The Apostle Paul said, 
“We shall not all sleep,
but we shall all be changed.”

No freckles,
no cowlick,
no twisted bones,
no missing members,
no lack of understanding.

Questions will all be answered.
As we enter that pearl-encrusted gate,
as we gaze through those transparent
golden streets, never again 
will there be a need to flush.

Premium Member I Just Hate Using Public Toilets

I hurry to the ladies toilets
Because I need to use the loo
But all the cubicles are occupied
(There’s a stench of rancid pooh)

I stand there with my legs crossed
And I do a little ‘dance’
Oh hurry up and vacate the stall
Or I’m going to pee my pants!

I eventually hear a toilet flush
And I hobble through that door
But I need to wipe down the toilet seat
Removing drips from the butt before

I finally pull down my pants
And I dribble a tiny little pee
I’d thought my bladder was fit to burst
So there was no need for this urgency!

I can hear ladies chatter outside the door
Asking why is there such a big queue
My hubby tells me next time I need to go
I should sneak in the gentlemen’s loo!

3rd April 2017

A Toilets Rim

Perishes in time the meaning of our lives  
Instilling things from a darkness of shadow,  
But who did bless this miracle, the complexity of thought and dream  
Under the question from ones conscience; 
Strange it is when truth is breached  
By a thousand souls descendant 
And the drip from my toilets rim  

At times we are callous to changes in ourselves     
Though deep it is in thought and perception,  
Until the sanctity our intent inspired  
Is characterized by the solitude within; 
Speak the lines in reflected reason 
Here deep with faiths intent   
Under the drip from my toilets rim

Do not desert from what lays instilled 
The ancient deceptive oracle,
For there is no explanation to complexities, or the isolation of its decent 
Into that moral servitude;
Listen to the knowledge in the words we speak
When questioned are our thoughts applied   
To that drip from my toilets rim

A Toilets Rim

Perished in thought burn all things to ash    
Like those inspired by a shadows edge,  
But who is blessed in the miracle of life, the complexity of thought and dream  
Under the question from ones conscience; 
Strange it is when truth has breached  
By a thousand souls descendant 
And the drip from my toilets rim  

Give to us all the vision of change    
Deep in thought and perception,  
Until the sanctity our intent inspired  
Is characterized by the solitude within; 
Speak the lines in reflected reason 
When impressions are all unjust  
Under the drip from my toilets rim

Do not desert what lays condoned   
By the ancient deceptive oracle,
For there is no explanation to complexities, or the isolation of its decent 
Into our moral servitude;
Listen to the knowledge in the words we speak
The question of a thought applied   
To that drip from my toilets rim

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