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I Just Hate Using Public Toilets

I hurry to the ladies toilets
Because I need to use the loo
But all the cubicles are occupied
(There’s a stench of rancid pooh)

I stand there with my legs crossed
And I do a little ‘dance’
Oh hurry up and vacate the stall
Or I’m going to pee my pants!

I eventually hear a toilet flush
And I hobble through that door
But I need to wipe down the toilet seat
Removing drips from the butt before

I finally pull down my pants
And I dribble a tiny little pee
I’d thought my bladder was fit to burst
So there was no need for this urgency!

I can hear ladies chatter outside the door
Asking why is there such a big queue
My hubby tells me next time I need to go
I should sneak in the gentlemen’s loo!

3rd April 2017

bodyhumorouswomenrhyme

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CayCay Jennings

Date: 11/13/2017 6:43:00 AM

It would be so much fun to hang out with you, and respond to your humor in ways that are too inappropriate for SOUP, but true reactions and laughter based. There comes an age (apparently), when one no longer 'has to pee' and one just 'pees'. I now know the reason for an entire aisle of products in the stores. Enjoyed this ... CayCay

Jan Allison
Date: 11/13/2017 7:44:00 AM

Cheers CayCay its infuriating there is always a queue at the ladies loo and not at the gents lol :-) hugs jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/9/2017 2:16:00 PM

Fantastic, another huge winner. A Fav!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/9/2017 3:23:00 PM

Thanks Armand I think this is one of my own faves it made me giggle writing it:-) hugs jan xx

John Michaels

Date: 4/9/2017 12:35:00 PM

Another hilarious piece from you, Jan. Whenever I need cheering up, I will hunt down one of your poems and I've no doubt it will bring a smile to my face! :)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/9/2017 12:40:00 PM

Aww thanks John:-) I do surprise with the occasional serious poem but I do love trying to make people smile with my poems:-) I am hoping to perform this on stage later this month:-)hugs Jan xx

Roy Pett

Date: 4/6/2017 4:35:00 PM

Brilliant Jan as always, I don't really know but perhaps if the ladies were redesigned so they could use a Shewee! this may solve the problem, great poem well written, Roy, :)))

Jan Allison
Date: 4/6/2017 5:03:00 PM

Thanks Roy I had great fun writing this poem and hope to perform it on stage later this month ... I think many in the audience will relate to my lines:-) hugs Jan xx

Pashang Salehi

Date: 4/6/2017 10:51:00 AM

delightful like always....

Jan Allison
Date: 4/6/2017 2:42:00 PM

Thanks Pashang:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 4/5/2017 11:52:00 AM

Lol! Jan , you've created a funny scene, for a not so funny situation. As always I enjoyed the humor:-) Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 4/5/2017 2:46:00 PM

I saw my first unisex loo's in our Government building on Saturday ... it really does make sense and the queues would be reduced!:-) hugs jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 4/5/2017 12:43:00 PM

A somewhat tongue in cheek write Alexis but I am sure many ladies have found really long queues in the ladies toilets yet the men's rooms are pretty empty:-( hugs Jan xx

Anne-Marie Coreggia

Date: 4/5/2017 7:23:00 AM

I think this problem is shared by women who reach a 'certain age', and I wish they would put in way more stalls in women's bathrooms since mothers take their children there. Thank you for bringing a smile on my face this morning :) Amitiés

Jan Allison
Date: 4/5/2017 11:45:00 AM

You make some very good points in your comment Anne-Marie:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 4/5/2017 3:56:00 AM

jan, i have a secret theory on why this is so...i hate using public loos! who's been there before me...? lol...it reminds me of a poem my gran once wrote on the same subject! she used to write some humorous ones like yours; wish i could remember the poem but i can't

Jan Allison
Date: 4/5/2017 6:53:00 AM

Wow the talent for writing must be in our genes Charlotte, it would be wonderful to see what our ancestors wrote. My aunt and uncle both wrote humourous poems, it just took my hubbies cancer which unleashed this hidden creativity - I wouldn't say talent lol I write a lot of poop on soup lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Doug Vinson

Date: 4/4/2017 7:42:00 PM

When you gotta go, you....

Jan Allison
Date: 4/5/2017 6:50:00 AM

... hope there isn't a massive queue lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith

Date: 4/4/2017 2:42:00 PM

Only thing worse is a Port O Potty, Good laugh Jan...

Jan Allison
Date: 4/4/2017 5:18:00 PM

Oh Charlie they are vile to use but a necessary evil I suppose:-( hugs Jan xx

Frank Sheehan

Date: 4/4/2017 11:59:00 AM

Excellent write. Very funny. I enjoy all of your work immensely. Thanks for sharing.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/4/2017 1:14:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment Frank my aim is to try and make people smile, but I do suprise with the occassional serious poem too:-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 4/4/2017 7:48:00 AM

Haha! You are killing me dear, Jan! So hilarious your poem is! A big, big 7+!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/4/2017 1:12:00 PM

I do try and write with humour Demetrios - this is somewhat tongue in cheek but I am sure many ladies can relate:-) hugs jan xx

Seren Roberts

Date: 4/3/2017 6:56:00 PM

Jan its very plain to tell..... that we use the same public loos..... one thing worse than the smell.... is that shiny toilet roll,.... so try not to poo..... the new round invention seems to run out...... you then hear my feeble shout. Haha loved it....Seren

Jan Allison
Date: 4/4/2017 7:29:00 AM

Ha ha ha your comment is pure 'poetry in motion ' lol:-) hugs Jan xx