A heart, painful, and beating, beating
Poor, poor. Hope, just, just hope. A love
Hmm. Life is dark. Sometimes it is light. Shine
Hah. Flow. Flow. River. Deep stream. This life
Swamp. No wake up. Deep. Without love. My life
I don’t know what is coming up. I don’t, I don’t know
I can’t live. I can’t live like this. Oh, pain of life!
Hmm, what brings the next, the next day, the next love?
I want, I want to lose. Lose my life, I want to die
I will, I will to die. For the real, and great new love!
For a love
For the only!
For the real
For the eternal!!
For the infinite
Only love!!
The Living Dead
Life is but a shadow rain or shine,
A masquerade, and a trick of the mind.
A life unspoken, a heart turned to stone,
I’m moving my body, but my spirit is gone.
Sunshine and smiles but darkness inside
My smile seems hollow-no light within
Dreams twist and tangle, like braids in a bundle
Laughter that howls- like the wind in a storm
Fighting for life, but no hope in sight.
Struggling for peace from the pain deep inside
Crying won’t stop and complaining makes no sense
Days are blurred like ink smudged on a page
Praying for life, yet hunted as a prey
All hope fades, no voice, no chance, no escape
Am I just walking-wondering through hell?
My mind has gone wild and my soul unfed
Breathing but suffocating, with tear filled eyes
Just a heartbroken man living inside.
My soul cries, begging to be free
But I lie chained, trapped in a dungeon’s dark cay –
It’s me…..all of me……wholly me.
How can my soul escape? How…..how much more can it take?
I’m more than this numbness, much more than this night,
I’m choosing to live but losing this fight
My time of death I don't quite know,
I'm still breathing but I was gone long ago.
Locked in the casket of a broken mind,
If I go any deep I'm afraid of what I'll find.
The skeleton of what I was was is gone a,
corpse of the lost me at every new dawn.
She gets high on suicide
Cos that’s the aphrodisiac
Running through her veins
At some point soon
She’ll hear that tune
Pushing her nearer
To her doom
The note is already in her head
Recited from the living dead
Goodbye world
It’s time to go
I never had a chance
But don’t feel sorry for little me
Cos this is the day I finally see
Maybe next time you never know
But for now it’s time to go
Finally, falling fast asleep
Exactly like they said
The note now lying beside her head
The final extract it simply read
Recited from the living dead.
The living dead, think they’re alive
Trapped in a fear prison
Thoughts centred on wealth and sex drive
Yet feel their soul’s risen
Human form a facade
In darkness they do plod
Distanced from love and God
By desires led
The living dead
17-August-2022
Quietus
Please don't wait
for me to feel it-
let's just start
from right here
awkward, numb and full of fear
it's now or never
Feeling dry
preserved, mummified
like something
long since dead
flickers of life in my head
haunting like a ghost
Trance-like walk
horror story style
down the aisle
children flee
mummy mumbles, blankly stares
heart and soul elsewhere
Still I try
to show up and care
God forgive
my dead soul!
Unfeelingly, I believe-
help my unbelief
__
Another Shadorma, with apologies to readers expecting a Halloween poem! I found this tucked in my Bible from a Sunday a while back when I was depressed and not in a proper mind for worship. While it's a bit embarrassing to admit I feel this ambivalent at times, I'm posting this hoping it will comfort others who struggle with this as well.
Held behind cold stone walls,
In silence, marched to work.
The shabby dressed walked prison halls,
Hell waits for those who shirk.
Breaking rocks or picking rope,
Naught to eat save gruel and bread,
Pointless toil, devoid of hope,
Here worked the living dead.
Mornings in the chapel praying,
The gathered wincing at the drops,
The hangman had the condemned swaying,
Yet more unworthy souls now cropped.
The chaplain looking down his nose,
He could better use his ministrations,
The faithless sat in squalid rows,
(As he prayed for a better station.)
Ne'er has a place been so bleak,
Nor seen more fear and woes,
If the Devil sought out company,
It would be here he chose.
They say that they are Christians
But commit all kinds of immoral act
They say that they are Christians
But they lie, steal, deceive, and sin
They say that they are Christians
But support lies and not the truth
They are alive in the flesh
But they are dead in the Spirit
The Living Dead
Take away the safety net
What remains
only the weak kill and call themselves men
A coward hides in the mountain of who they are
behind their own curse justifying wrongs
Tears falling each and every single day
suffering innocence weep
Self inflicted forged inside darkness
Mortal sin
The day will arrive
when you have to come out of your shell facing reality
Evil deeds done dirt cheap begging soul forgiveness
Blinding pure is the eyes of our Saviour
Salvation enslaved by guilt
poor is the heart where poison seeps
Rich forgiving pride the Lords prayer I say
Please God open their eyes to your peaceful presence
Make them aware of your goodness morally within
Open their souls to the truth
such deeds hold an ugly sin
Mercy on your damned soul
Such actions
destiny crumbles
inside their castle walls bleed burning with fire
Angry all their lives at everyone but themselves
Articles of faith strips them bare
I tip my eyes to the Lord
Blessing myself in the name of our Father the Holy trinity
Begging their forgiveness
One third of Man
blind faceless spill blood
cursing peace and His Holiness in the end days
Along with a haunting horde trick-a-treating
Dressed as ghosts, ghouls and goblins,
Dancing dwarfs and teetering giants,
Despicable despots and snarling demons,
Pirates, warlords and mercenaries,
Blood-sucking vampires and wolverines,
Dracula, zombies and Frankenstein,
Skeletons, Spiderman and scarecrows,
Walking deads or the Grim Reaper,
Pretty princesses or the wicked witches,
We too tagged along with this
wild and weird looking carnival,
Hiding our sinister thoughts
and evil designs behind
our smiling Joker's masks
to garner the most candies and toys
with our macabre charm!
Very much so as in our mundane lives
Each morn after a fitful night,
We put on the masks of
good cheers and civility,
Hiding the day's concerns and care,
Envy, hate and jealousy
behind a hypocritical smile and keen dress.
But on this eerie night of Halloween,
We get to let our masks down for a while!
~"Halloween Poem" contest by Carol Eastman
Rising from their graves,
Breaking through the ground,
Raised by radiation waves,
They are coming to your town.
Board up all your doors,
Nail them good and tight,
Or there will be blood and gore,
By the end of the night.
They tear down your walls,
Break through your window pane,
No one can help you at all,
When they try to eat your brain.
Those dead eyes make you shiver,
You scream out with alarm,
Zombies try to eat your liver,
And, chew on your leg and arm.
There is no point to tell her,
That it is just too late,
Go hide down in your cellar,
You cannot escape your fate.
Zombies are the living dead,
They do not easily expire,
So, cause injury to their head,
Or, burn them with fire.
Hungry zombies do not give,
Oh, you better run,
Or you will not live,
To see the rising sun.
Written by: Kelly Deschler
October, 11th, 2013
For Leonora Galinta's contest -
"Halloween-Only One Theme...Zombies!"
haven't we all been there,
haven't we all seen
our nightmares come true,
haven't we all felt the dread
crawl under our skin,
seep into our heads
spread in our thoughts
to manifest as dreams and
leak out in the form of a tear.
And the person who can't shed
those tears no more
at the bitter experiences
after the worst,
his soul has begun to rot,
his innocence has begun to die.
haven't we all
buried our holes
filled the voids in our heart
being betrayed by the people
who were taken to be granted
with the smiles of pity.
haven't we all replied
with the masks that scorch our faces,
hiding the wounds of the past
that will never heal,
behind the curtain of fear.
haven't we all stared at the sky,
counted the sunsets,
gazed at the crescent moon,
to the days to end.
And with the passing time,
we have lost our old selves
with time,
we have lost our true innocent selves,
with time,
we have turned ourselves into
the living dead!
Wait in the car I’ll be right down,
Don’t want to get sick, I’ll be quick, so stick around.
I feel so bad you know I don’t want to do this,
Don’t hug me and don’t give me a kiss,
I deem myself powerless
And your God must lie
Even your tears these days don’t move my eyes,
Wait in the car I’ll be right in,
Just one more fix and then we can begin,
I wish this stuff was better but I swear I don’t want to get high,
I can still feel the pain in my body… but I swear I did it just to get by,
It’s all about me now don’t you know?
Are childhood love I keep injecting away as the years go,
It’s all about the past… forget that it’s a new day,
My life died along the forbidden way,
Wait in the car it might take me some time,
Gota set it up just right, be nice and clean while I lose my mind,
You know I am a good listener tell me how you feel
That’s what all the junkies tell me while we digest our daily meals.
“I am done waiting in the car you might as well have injected me too
I lost my best friend to something brown and blue”
By: Sabina Nicole
Written: Oct 2, 2012
O Tony, wherefore dost thou feel out of sorts?
Existing so - tho' not soothly living.
Haps thou art the living dead which resorts
Into its cold chamber ne'er living.
He appears to be an angel of light,
But he takes pride in feeding on his own appetite,
He presents himself as if to be your number one,
Before you know it his game has begun,
He is very patient with his prey,
He will get to know you in every way,
He targets the wounded in the soul,
Then suddenly begins to gains fulll control,
Every thought that you think,
Becomes obsessions, which is how he keeps you linked,
You become spirtually engaged,
But really you’re just a rat in a cage,
Every word will mesmerize,
But in time you will encounter the big surprise,
He’s a charmer and enjoys his malicious ways,
While slowly draining your heart and putting you in a daze,
He’s a man with a very subtle bite,
Who knows you may be in bed with him tonight,
He is a living dead man
and will do whatever he can,
To break you down
while leaving you lifeless on the ground.
By: Sabina Nicole
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