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The Living Dead

Please don't wait for me to feel it- let's just start from right here awkward, numb and full of fear it's now or never Feeling dry preserved, mummified like something long since dead flickers of life in my head haunting like a ghost Trance-like walk horror story style down the aisle children flee mummy mumbles, blankly stares heart and soul elsewhere Still I try to show up and care God forgive my dead soul! Unfeelingly, I believe- help my unbelief __ Another Shadorma, with apologies to readers expecting a Halloween poem! I found this tucked in my Bible from a Sunday a while back when I was depressed and not in a proper mind for worship. While it's a bit embarrassing to admit I feel this ambivalent at times, I'm posting this hoping it will comfort others who struggle with this as well.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Date: 11/6/2019 3:17:00 PM
There's only so much we can psychologically take; if not given the proper length of break from the stresses, we can end up in this condition. Wel penned with feeling.
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Rhona McFerran
Date: 11/6/2019 9:52:00 PM
Thank you! Yes, I'm trying to do a better job of dealing with stress before it gets to this level (again)...
Date: 11/6/2019 3:02:00 PM
I’m not sure whether you wrote this specifically with church in mind, but I have felt that way about a lot of things in life. Like I should care more. Like everyone else seems to care more. They probably don’t though - not all of them anyway. Facades, facades. You captured the lost, inadequate, empty feelings perfectly.
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Rhona McFerran
Date: 11/6/2019 9:51:00 PM
Embarrassingly enough, I wrote this during church about my general state of mind... so it applied to that and several other areas of my life. It's nice (somehow "nice" doesn't seem the right word... maybe 'comforting'?) to know that I'm not alone in this!
Date: 10/31/2019 9:06:00 AM
I have dealt with depression throughout my life, and this so well captures what it was like for me, this is so profound, Rhona-
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Rhona McFerran
Date: 10/31/2019 4:19:00 PM
Thank you for understanding! ;)
Date: 10/30/2019 10:08:00 AM
The honesty and integrity of this one pulled my heartstrings.
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Rhona McFerran
Date: 10/31/2019 12:44:00 AM
Thank you, my Soul Sister!